Penhall-isms: Best of Season 4

1. (looking around an art gallery) "I like this stuff. Reminds me of kindergarten."

2. (describing Tom's haircut when he first joined Jump Street) "He looked like he just finished dental school."

3. "When you lose your dreams, the best part of you goes with them."

4. "Release the bonds of imperialistic...roughage!"

5. "My brain is turning into chocolate pudding!"

6. "If life is like math, I'm totally screwed up. I got a C in geometry."

7. "Hall, Doug Pen."

Case #4.25: "Every Day Is Christmas"

A loud argument takes place inside a shabby house. A man with a bandanna tied around his head comes out, shouting, "I hate you! Nobody messes with me!" Doug and Harry, staking out the street in a car, witness this. Doug is irritated that the lead Harry's snitch gave them is bogus. 

Doug gets a cell phone call and looks worried when he hangs up. Clavo cut himself and Doug wants to go straight to the hospital. Harry says they can't because they're on duty; he's sure Clavo will be fine. Harry does relent. Doug calls for backup to take over and tells Harry to get out of the car. Doug leaves. Harry watches as Bandanna Man is dropped off at the house. Bandanna Man knocks on the door with a gun in hand. He shoots the man who answers the door. A second man appears and shoots Bandanna Man. Men shoot at the getaway car. Harry doesn't do anything.

Doug sees a groaning Bandanna Man brought into the ER by paramedics; he's been shot in the back. A nurse brings Clavo to Doug. The little boy's forearm is wrapped in bandages. Doug picks Clavo up and hugs him. Harry arrives with Fuller in tow. "You're in a lot of trouble, Doug," the captain says softly.

Doug, in his uniform, is told by Internal Affairs that he's hereby removed from Jump Street. He's lucky not to be suspended for leaving Harry in the lurch like that. It doesn't matter that Doug had a family crisis; you can't leave your partner. Doug is reassigned to the 43rd Precinct. Harry goes into the Internal Affairs office next. Doug pretends not to see him.

In the 43rd Precinct locker room, we learn that Doug isn't the only new face. The precinct is getting a rookie named Dean Garrett. Doug is greeted by his fellow officers telling him that the 43rd is the "city's dumping grounds for washouts and rejects." An officer named Wolf howls, welcoming Doug to the pack.  

Doug, on patrol with his new partner Wolf, is told, "We lost the war on drugs 10 years before they coined the phrase." They sit down for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Wolf says junkies win the fight against a cop 9 times out of 10. Wolf opines that justice isn't up to cops; it's up to the courts who can't lock anyone up because the jails are overcrowded. Doug goes to the counter to pay his bill. The restaurant owner tells him police officers eat free.

Outside, Wolf asks if Doug has a problem with getting free food. He assures him that nobody in Chinatown would turn them in to Internal Affairs. They pull over a guy for running a red light even though two other people ran the same one. The driver offers to buy Wolf's pen to get out of the ticket, which is dumb even for this show. Wolf takes the $20, hands over the pen, and doesn't write a ticket.

Back in the police car, Wolf tells Doug it's Christmas every day at the 4-3. Doug isn't comfortable with the way things are done. Wolf informs him, "This is the real world. You gotta use it or it'll use you." He offers to let Doug join the Wolf Pack for a late-night run of some sort.

In a dark alley, the cops of the 43rd discuss the new rookie they're getting. Dean graduated the police academy in spite of bombing the final exam. He's also coming off a 6-week leave of absence for "family reasons." They wonder who the rookie knows to get that kind of time off. There's concern he could be a plant from Internal Affairs.

The cops kick in the door of a stash house. While Doug handcuffs a suspect, Wolf and another cop pocket some drugs. They find a bag of money under a floorboard and start flushing drugs down the toilet. Doug asks why they're flushing evidence. Wolf says they have to let their suspect go because there's no evidence. Outside, the cops split the stolen money. Doug refuses to take it at first but eventually gives in.

In the locker room the next morning, Doug and Wolf think somebody should keep an eye on rookie Dean in case he's IAB. Doug is elected to do until Wolf's friend, a police union rep, can tell them if Dean is who he appears to be. Dean, an eager-looking kid, is waiting for the other officers in the roll call room. The others give him a hard time, asking why he became a cop. He also tells him the desks at the back of the roll call room are off-limits to rookies.

When the officers remove their caps during roll call, everyone except Dean has a black streak across their forehead, most likely from grease paint or the like. In front of the sergeant, one of the senior cops threatens to make Dean his bitch.

On patrol, Doug learns that Dean is from New Jersey and worked for a ticket scalper at the Meadowlands as a kid. He reminisces about seeing some great games from the upper deck. You'd think a scalper could get his employee better seats. Dean asks Doug why everyone at roll call was "acting like I whacked your mothers or something." Doug again wonders how a rookie got 6 weeks off after the academy. Dean says he had "things to take care of."

A shifty-looking guy dumps what looks like a bag of trash in alley when he sees the cops. Doug and Dean sift through the bags, trying to find what the guy ditched. If this were Law & Order or NYPD Blue, this would be when they found a bag of body parts or something equally horrible. Dean gets a look inside one bag, almost throws up, and runs out of the alley. Doug checks the bag too.

Dean catches up to Mr. Shifty and arrests him. Mr. Shifty offers Dean money: "Come on, pig! It wasn't even my baby!" Disgusting!

Later, Doug, an unnamed black cop, Wolf, and Dean respond to a burglar alarm at a Chinatown store. The register drawer is open, but nothing else looks out of place. Doug tells Wolf about Dean arresting a guy for "disposing of a stillborn that died from its mother's habit." Wolf makes a highly inappropriate joke about Dumpster diving.

The store owner, Mr. Li, arrives. Wolf suggests that Mr. Li pay him $100 a week to have someone watch the store. Outside, Dean sees the junkie he arrested wandering the streets. "Son of a bitch," he complains, sounding a lot like another famous Dean, "I just arrested that guy this morning." Wolf basically tells him "them's the breaks."

At roll call the next day, the officers learn that one of their own was shot in another precinct. The suspect was arrested without incident. One officer pipes up that if he ever gets shot, he wants his partner to put his shooter in a coroner's van, not a squad car. People clap and cheer this proclamation. The sergeant doesn't say a word about the outburst, just dismisses everyone. Wolf tells Doug the Wolf Pack is meeting that night at Mr. Li's store. Doug should ditch his partner so they can all "split the dead presidents."

At lunchtime, Doug leaves Dean at the Chinese restaurant with instructions to order for everyone. Wolf takes Doug into a store to teach him "how to collect." In the restaurant, the owner looks suspiciously at the rookie cop sitting by himself with several plates of untouched food on the table. Dean puts on his coat, apologizes to the owner for the others not showing up, and asks how much the bill is. "No pay for police," the owner says again. Dean tells her he's not allowed to accept favors, goes back to the table, and sets down a wad of money.

In the store, Doug rings the counter bell for service and Harry steps out of the back room. Harry lies that Mr. Li is at the wholesaler's and he's filling in. He produces an envelope of money from the register and hands it over.

At Casa de Penhall, Judy tells Clavo the story of Pinocchio and kisses him good night. Doug wishes he had a bigger apartment so Clavo could have his own room. Out of Clavo's earshot, Doug confesses to Judy that he's afraid that he'll get killed before Clavo grows up. Judy has learned Harry is at Mr. Li's store investigating corruption at the 43rd.

Harry tells Cap'n Rufus he wants off the corruption case. Rufus can't do that; good undercover officers are hard to find. Besides, dirty cops give up the right to be called cops; they're just as bad as, if not worse than, regular criminals.

Doug and Dean catch some men playing craps on an apartment building roof. They all run, leaving their cash behind. Dean crumples up the money and tosses it off the roof. He's upset about Doug ditching him the day before; he can't understand why nobody trusts him. Doug tells Dean that if anything happens to him, Dean should worry about calling an ambulance before chasing the suspect. Doug has a nephew to take care of.

In the car, Dean notices something suspicious happening in a nearby parking lot. Doug tells him to call for backup and cover him. One of the suspicious guys hits Doug with a tire iron. Dean fires a warning shot in the air, then the men scatter. He chases the one who hit Doug into the street. Dean tackles the guy, but only manages to get one cuff one. The guy starts punching Dean as backup arrives to pull him off.

Doug assures one of the other cops that he's okay. Wolf shoves Dean against the side of the car, yelling that he should've waited for backup before chasing the guy. Wolf calls Dean a snitch and starts patting him down, threatening, "If you're wired, you're dead!" Dean struggles. His uniform shirt is ripped open, revealing nothing but a Kevlar vest underneath.

After work, Doug tucks Clavo in and examines the nasty bruise on his forearm. He probably oughta get that looked at; stress fractures can sneak up on you. I lived with one for a week without noticing it. Doug unbuttons his uniform shirt. There's a microphone taped to his vest. He takes the recorder off his belt, rewinds the tape, and listens to Wolf's death threat.

Two unnamed cops from the 43rd go to shake down Harry again. One partner finds baggies of drugs on the desk in the back room; there are also bricks of money in an appliance box. Harry pays them off and they leave. In the locker room later, the unnamed cops tell Wolf what they found at Mr. Li's store. They want to knock the place over. Wolf found out that Dean isn't Internal Affairs; he got 6 weeks off due to family problems. They take a vote and agree to let Dean into the Wolf Pack.

Late that night, someone knocks on Doug's door. It's Dean. Doug steps into the hall to talk because Clavo is asleep. Dean is disappointed that Doug turned out to be dirty. He looked up to Doug. Dean tells a story about why he became a cop. In 7th grade, Keith, a bully, was beating him up pretty badly on a sidewalk when a police car pulled up. The cops pulled Keith off Dean and drove Dean home. Dean's sorry he believed in the "childish ideal" of protecting and serving for so long. Doug tells him not to quit believing in that.

Doug has a sit-down with Internal Affairs and tells them about the planned hit on the appliance store. After the bust, Doug will be reinstated to Jump Street. Doug doesn't want to be there when the robbery happens because he's afraid Dean will do the wrong thing and get swept up with the rest of the Wolf Pack. The Internal Affairs guy agrees to work around Doug.

We see the Internal Affairs guy giving a chalk talk in the roll call room about the plan to hit Mr. Li's appliance store. Their team will move in after "the transaction" takes place. The Wolf Pack will be at a Chinese restaurant, which Doug will leave after he gets a phone call about a fake family emergency.

At the restaurant, Dean agrees to be part of the plan because he thinks Doug is still part of it. One of the Wolf Pack will have to keep their gun out in case the "Oriental dealers" freak out and not hesitate to shoot. Doug volunteers to do that part. The restaurant owner brings him the phone. Doug answers and pretends it's a routine call from his babysitter. He leaves with the rest of the Wolf Pack.

The Wolf Pack descends on Li's Appliances. Doug holds his gun on Harry. Wolf tells Harry they're teaching him a lesson about running drugs in their precinct. Dean draws his own gun and says, "Okay, Doug, put the gun down." Doug hisses that he's IAB. The rest of the Wolf Pack emerges from the back of the store with loot. Dean tells them they're all under arrest. One of the unnamed cops tries to shoot the rookie. The SWAT team rushes in, followed by Internal Affairs.

The head Internal Affairs guy tells them not to arrest Doug. A pair of cops grabs Dean. Doug assures them the kid is clean. Harry, Dean, and Doug watch the dirty cops being lined up against the counter. 

The next time Dean comes to work, someone has spray-painted the word RAT on his locker. Someone has spray-painted SNITCH on Doug's. "I wonder if this ever happened to the cop who saved me from Keith Sharpelli," sighs Dean. He thinks it sucks that IAB kept Doug in the dark like they did. 

Doug shows Dean the Chapel. "It's no Saint Patrick's," says Dean. Doug tells him of course not; Saint Patrick's is a cathedral and this is a chapel. Dean doesn't want his first day at the Chapel to be like his first day at the 43rd. "Welcome to Jump Street," Doug says in the squadroom. End of episode and Season 4. It should be interesting to see what role Dean plays in the 5th and final season.

Case #4.24: "Rounding Third"

"...And headed for home, it's a brown-eyed, handsome man..." Does anyone else automatically think of song lyrics when they hear a certain phrase? It's just me? Oh well.

Blowfish is watching his oldest son's Little League practice. He's irritated at the other parents for saying the coach plans to teach the boys "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game." Blowfish marches up to Coach and demands to know what qualifies him to teach Blowfish Junior to play baseball. Coach informs Blowfish he played baseball for San Diego State. "Ohhhh, bitchin'," Blowfish says sarcastically. Coach warns Blowfish he used to be a Golden Gloves boxer. 

Next we see of Blowfish, he's holding a bag of ice over his black eye as he walks through the parking lot with his son. Sal Jr. whines, "Do we have to get another coach? That's our third one." Sal Jr. worries that Blowfish wants to coach, but Blowfish has a better idea: Doug. Theme song.

Speaking of brown-eyed, handsome men, Doug brags that he was the best catcher the Tarrytown Tigers ever had. Fuller coached his son Kip's Little League team and thinks being a cop is an easier job. Having worked with peewee football parents, I gotta agree he's probably got something there. 

Doug isn't sure about being a coach; he needs to be around for Clavo because the kid is depressed. Fuller thinks being around other kids would be good for Clavo. Doug reminds them that Clavo isn't old enough for Little League. Blowfish says Clavo could be the bat boy and waxes poetic about the sights, sounds, and smells of baseball. Doug still says no. Blowfish begs him; Tom already said no.

Blowfish doesn't want to coach himself because he was a terrible baseball player. Doug will learn about reliving painful childhood memories when he sees Clavo going through hard times. Blowfish thinks Doug can help Sal Jr.'s team find out what it feels like to be winners.

At Casa de Penhall, Doug apologizes to the babysitter Debbie for being late. She reports Clavo's been in bed for an hour and spent most of his time drawing at the kitchen table. Doug picks up one of the drawings; it's of a sad stick boy, presumably Clavo, looking out of a house at a dog. Even the sun in the picture is frowning. Doug pays Debbie and she leaves. He peeks in the bedroom and finds Clavo sleeping soundly. Also in the stack of pictures is a baseball game; Clavo has labeled one of the stick-figure players "Me." Doug smiles and hangs it on the fridge.

At Little League practice the next day, Clavo hands Doug baseballs to hit for the infielders. The little guy has been outfitted with a team cap. Montage time! The infielders are, um, not very good. Doug accidentally hits Sal Jr. when the boy misses a pop-up. Next, Doug pitches to the kids. Nobody hits the ball. Sal Jr. gets spastic and knocks himself over. A blond little boy manages to hit one over the fence.

After practice ends, the same blond boy shows Clavo how to hold the bat and gently tosses pitches to him. Doug thinks the boy, Danny, looks familiar. Danny's last name is Johnson. Doug invites Danny to join him and Clavo for burgers. Danny nervously eyes his dad, who's watching from the parking lot, and says he has to go. Clavo smiles and tells Doug he likes Danny. Adoptive father and son play a little more baseball.

Over breakfast, Doug and Clavo decide who should play what position in the next game. "There's Dany...on the box," Clavo chirps. Doug corrects him that Michael Jordan is the guy on the Wheaties box. However, the box Clavo was referring to is the milk carton. Nice detective work, kid. Doug checks it out. It's Danny's picture, all right, but the milk carton gives his name as Curtis Stapleton.

At the Little League field, parents cheer on their kids, who have team caps but no jerseys due to budget reasons, I assume. Judy is pitching in as third base coach. Danny/Curtis's bunt sends him to first and his female teammate to second or third, can't tell which. Clavo brings Sal Jr. his bat. Sal Jr. looks like he doesn't want to be there.

Blowfish calls over the fence that he wants Doug to pinch-hit. Doug tells him to sit down; it's only a practice game. Sal Jr. gets a hit, runs, and falls on his face just short of first base. The other team gets a double play. After the game, Doug's team, the Wildcats, do a cheer. Doug tells Sal Jr. not to be depressed. Blowfish pulls Doug to the side and says he's sick of "sportsmanship crap." He'd rather hear a German opera than that cheer again.

Doug ignores Blowfish and approaches Danny/Curtis's dad, who looks very suspicious in his ballcap and dark sunglasses. Doug introduces himself; Danny/Curtis's dad is named Bob. Bob fumbles, saying his last name is Jones before correcting himself and saying Johnson. Bob tells Doug that he and Danny/Curtis love watching baseball together.

Doug asks Bob to be his assistant coach. Judy over on third base is a Phillies fan because she thinks the mascot is funny. Obviously, nobody from the writing team that established her as a Cubs fan was around for this episode. Doug butters Bob up; Danny/Curtis is a good player, the other kids look up to him. Bob claims he's too busy with work and can't help.

Danny/Curtis and Clavo help Judy pack up the equipment. When Doug asks if Bob is the blond boy's father, Danny/Curtis bolts. Doug asks Judy to watch Danny's reaction and calls out the name Curtis. Danny/Curtis stops briefly in his tracks, then keeps running. 

Doug shows Judy the milk carton picture. Judy reminds him that he has no proof that Bob isn't really the kid's dad. She adds, "Danny may not know. If kids are kidnapped young enough, they may not know their captor isn't their parent." Doug tells her that Danny/Curtis was only reported missing last year. Judy says she'll check with the Juvenile Services division about Curtis.

In the Chapel, Doug looks through Danny/Curtis's missing persons file. There's a black-and-white picture of a happy enough looking family: Mom, Dad, and Curtis. Doug also finds a divorce decree and a Christmas card featuring Mom, Curtis, Mom's new husband, and Curtis's two new stepbrothers. Doug realizes the dad in the first family portrait is Bob from the baseball field.

When Doug gets home, Debbie tells him that Clavo's friend Danny came over and the three of them played baseball in the park. Doug asks if Danny is still there. Debbie doesn't answer, just takes her money and leaves. Doug hears two voices coming from the bedroom.

Inside, Danny/Curtis and Clavo are looking at either a geography textbook or an atlas, pointing out various places they've been. Clavo shows him El Salvador. Danny/Curtis shows Clavo his former hometown of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Clavo tells Danny/Curtis that Doug is his uncle. He loves Doug, but misses his mother. Sometimes, his mother visits him in his dreams. Danny/Curtis doesn't dream about his mom and asks Clavo not to tell Doug what they've been talking about.

Doug comes in and jokes about seeing chicks and beer in the room. He hugs Clavo and asks if Danny/Curtis wants to stay for dinner. Danny/Curtis has to go home and turns down Doug's offer of a ride. It's dark, so Doug won't take no for an answer.

The three of them cruise through a neighborhood in Doug's truck. Danny/Curtis claims he doesn't remember his address; he'll know the house when he sees it. Like that doesn't sound suspicious coming from a kid who's at least 9 or 10. Danny/Curtis points out a big white house and Doug stops the truck. He doesn't want Doug to walk him to the porch. Danny/Curtis realizes Doug won't leave until the kid is safe inside. Fortunately for him, the front door is unlocked. Danny/Curtis walks into a dinner party where it's obvious he's a total stranger. Satisfied, Doug pulls away. Danny/Curtis apologizes to the dinner guests and goes back outside.

In a room at the Inter City Motel, Bob is talking to someone on the phone. He tells the person that he's a good framer; why does it matter that he doesn't have references? Because every job wants candidates to have references, even in 1990. He hangs up. Danny/Curtis is eating dinner at the table and asks if they'll have to leave again. This episode is starting to remind me a lot of Sam and Dean Winchester's childhood in Supernatural. 

Bob tells Danny/Curtis that the kid knows the rules. Danny/Curtis protests that his first game is in two days; the team needs him. Bob promises that Danny/Curtis can play baseball in the next town. It's not just about baseball; Danny/Curtis likes the town and wants to live there permanently. Bob tells Danny/Curtis to do his homework.

The Little League park is festooned with streamers and red-white-and-blue bunting. Doug's team dances happily around, all wearing blue-and-white jerseys to go with their caps. In the second continuity goof of the episode, the word CHIEFS is printed on the front of the jerseys as opposed to WILDCATS. A league photographer gets ready to take a Chiefs team picture.

Bob calls Danny/Curtis over before the camera clicks. Bob lifts his son over the fence and walks toward the parking lot. "Smile like you just won your arbitration," Doug encourages the kids. Judy steps away to follow Bob. In the parking lot, Bob reminds Danny/Curtis of their deal: Danny/Curtis is allowed to play baseball but can't be in team pictures. Danny/Curtis wants to have something to remember his friends by. He gets in Bob's truck, sullenly folding his arms. Bob backs the truck out of the lot.

In her red Jeep, Judy follows them to the Inter City Motel. She sees Bob having an argument with the manager, no doubt about their unpaid bill. Bob fishes cash out of his wallet and hands it over.

Back at the Chapel, Judy tells Doug that Danny/Curtis has been kidnapped. Well, it's really more like a case of custodial interference. Doug thinks Bob loves Danny/Curtis and vice versa. Judy asks if he's thought about how the mother feels. Harry suggests Danny/Curtis was unhappy with his mother and new stepfather. Doug argues that a father can be just as good a parent as a mother. Judy thinks Doug's letting his relationship with Clavo cloud his judgment. Honestly, the big guy has a point. I know several fathers who are the primary custodians of their children and the kids are much better off than they would be the other way around.

Doug doesn't want to arrest Bob in front of his son; Danny/Curtis would have to be put in juvie until his mother can pick him up. Judy warns Doug not to let Bob skip town again.

At Casa de Penhall, Clavo draws another picture featuring a frowning sun. Doug tells Clavo that it's okay to miss his mom; it won't hurt Doug's feelings if Clavo says that. He asks Clavo to tell him about his feelings. Clavo agrees. Doug promises to mail the drawing to Clavo's mom, then dials Danny/Curtis's mom Janet from the kitchen phone. 

Cap'n Rufus overhears Blowfish talking to Sal Jr. on the squadroom phone. Sal Jr. is under the impression that his dad works at a place that builds rockets. When Blowfish hangs up, Rufus tells him he shouldn't be lying to his son. Blowfish thinks Sal Jr. would be disappointed if he knew the truth about what his dad really does for a living. Blowfish himself grew up ashamed of his dad's long, bizarre resume that included playing the Planters Peanut Man and cleaning up after horse carriages in Central Park. He wants Sal Jr. to have a better life than being a janitor.

At Casa de Penhall, Judy watches Clavo play with a toy helicopter. Doug opens the door for Janet, Danny/Curtis's stepfather Ed, and a little boy and little girl that are Danny/Curtis's siblings. They look more or less Danny/Curtis's age. Clavo offers the other kids candy. Ed tells Doug that the children aren't allowed sweets.

Everyone drinks water in the living room as Judy explains the plan. Doug will bring Danny/Curtis and Bob over so the family can talk on neutral ground. Bob could possibly be extradited to Pennsylvania on kidnapping charges.

Doug goes into the Inter City Motel office. He learns that Bob and Danny/Curtis left earlier and stiffed the manager for 4 nights. Bob didn't say where they were going.

Ed confronts Doug about promising to bring Danny/Curtis and Bob over. Judy explains that when she saw Bob pay the manager, she thought Bob was paying in advance for a longer stay. Doug is sure they'll turn up the next day because it's the Chiefs' first baseball game. 

At the ballpark, the parents are awfully bundled up for a sport that opens its season during spring. Of course, this probably has to do with the fact that this show is a case of America being played by Vancouver, Canada. The Chiefs are warming up on the field. Ed and Janet sit in the stands. Bob and Danny/Curtis arrive midway through the recording of "The Star-Spangled Banner." Janet holds Ed back to keep him from going after Bob. Bob runs. The National Anthem ends and the umpire cries, "Play ball!"

Doug chases Bob through the parking lot. He gets in Bob's truck with him and flashes his badge. Meanwhile, Blowfish and Judy take over coaching duties with Judy enthusiastically shouts, "KILL 'EM!" Blowfish reminds her that it's Little League, not hockey. In the outfield, we hear Sal Jr. hoping the batter won't hit the ball to him. The ball goes to Danny/Curtis at shortstop instead; the blond easily picks off the runner.

Bob explains to Doug that Danny/Curtis was his life. Janet left him because he was out of work. Bob felt like Ed was ruining Danny/Curtis's life. Under Ed's roof, Danny/Curtis wasn't allowed to eat sweets, listen to music, go to movies, or even play baseball. That's why Bob kidnapped his son. Doug tells Bob that he has to arrest him. Bob asks Doug to let him finish watching the game.

Bob and Doug go back to the field where the Chiefs are playing. Doug decides to let Blowfish and Judy coach the rest of the game. Bob has realized he was just as guilty of keeping Danny/Curtis from living as Ed was because Bob and Danny/Curtis were on the run.

When one of the kids is tagged out at first base, Judy loses it. She comes out of the dugout screaming at the umpire. The umpire ejects Judy. Blowfish tries desperately to get her under control. Danny/Curtis hits a solid double, then it's Sal Jr.'s turn at bat. Sal Jr. bunts. The other team fumbles the ball at third base and Danny sprints for home plate, giving Sal Jr. an RBI. Blowfish and the rest of the Chiefs cheer wildly; they've won the game 4-3. 

As the kids run around the field, Janet comes down from the bleachers to hug Danny/Curtis. Bob and Doug watch, smiling.

At Casa de Penhall, something interesting has come in the mail: a letter to Clavo from Danny/Curtis. Doug reads it out loud because Clavo can't read yet. Danny/Curtis is back in Pennsylvania and playing baseball. His team made the playoffs and Danny/Curtis made the all-star game. He asks if Doug's team is still bad. There's a note for Doug too, asking where Bob is. Danny/Curtis wants to send letters to his dad too. 

As Doug reads, Clavo works on another crayon picture. It features what looks like the word MOM and a frowning sun. End of episode.

Case #4.23: "How I Saved the Senator"

Catherine, a news reporter, live at the Truman High School cafeteria, announces that an undercover unit thwarted an "attempted incident" involving Senator Phillips. We see the unharmed senator being whisked to his limo. Details are still unclear but "all hell broke loose" during his appearance at Truman's PTA dinner. Catherine credits Jump Street with saving Senator Phillips' life.

Catherine arrives in the squadroom just as the officers are getting ready to sit down for pizza. She asks to interview them and motions for her cameraman to join them. Instinctively, the four undercover officers hide. Fuller hears the commotion and comes to see what's going on. Catherine demands interviews; the Truman incident is a big story.

Cap'n Rufus warns the cameraman that if he doesn't leave "I'm gonna take that camera and carefully insert it--" Catherine shouts over him, refusing to go until she gets the story. Catherine thinks there's potential for a movie in what happened. She wants an exclusive and promises not to show them on camera. Fuller escorts the cameraman out.

Catherine tells the officers that reporting is just a day job; she really wants to be a movie director. "Like Lethal Weapon 3?" asks Doug. Harry offers to give her the scoop. Catherine turns on her tape recorder. Harry says last night was "a classic battle between good and evil."

Flash to a Buddhist temple. A monk tells a group of young boys, "Observe the stone. When you can pluck it from my hand, you will have learned all I can teach you." Young Harry raises his hand and says, "I believe I can pluck the stone, Master." Of course, Harry succeeds. The Master chuckles. 

Young Harry also somehow pulls a live rabbit out of his pants. The Master produces a ping pong paddle from inside his robe, telling Young Harry he will learn the meaning of respect. Young Harry warns the Master that he'll be sorry if he hits him.

Catherine interrupts to ask what the point of this story is. Harry explains it's his background. Truman High received a bomb threat; the device was scheduled to go off during the PTA dinner. When the Secret Service didn't find a bomb, they asked Jump Street to be at the high school in case the caller showed up in person.

Flashback. Harry watches the Senator come out of his limo and became suspicious when a van from a Chinese bakery parked near the school. A clown car's worth of pastry chefs hustles out of the van. The last to exit is an old man carrying a big cake box. Harry follows the chefs toward the cafeteria entrance. Inside, one of the chefs is smoking a big cigar. That's suspicious as well as in violation of several health codes.

When the old man set down the cake box, the pastry chefs surrounded him. Under the seemingly ordinary facade of a cake is a sophisticated-looking bomb. Harry appears and says, "I'd like a piece of that cake." The old man orders the pastry chefs to attack. Harry takes off his shirt. The chefs come at Harry one by one, kung-fu movie style. Harry easily knocks them all out.

Onstage, the Senator has begun an offensive joke about a rabbi and a priest playing golf with Aunt Jemima and Geraldo Rivera. He's unaware of the old man's presence. Harry leaps into view and lets out a wild karate yell. The crowd murmurs about who the strange Asian could be. The old man bolts, taking the cake box box with him.

Harry chases him into a suspiciously large storage room. Seriously, there's two forklifts in there. The old man assumes a karate ready stance. Harry advises him not to be foolish. The old man punches him in the face. They fight. The old man stops his kung fu long enough to peel off his fake beard, revealing the Master. 

The Master draws his ping pong paddle, which now has large blades around the edge. He throws it at Harry, who dodges it. Harry levitates off the floor and does a somersault in the air, nearly giving the Master a heart attack. He punches the Master, who dramatically falls on top of his own bomb. It goes off, splattering Harry with frosting. "Now we're even," Harry declares.

Back to the present. Judy tells Catherine that's not what happened. Tom offers to tell her what did happen, but words can't describe it. A black-and-white title card pops up that reads: "Jump Street Pictures presents Little Tommy Hanson in The Waiter." Another title card explains that Tommy was assigned to protect the Senator, but who will protect the Senator from Tommy?

I hate silent movies, so I'll be quick. Tom's utter incompetence somehow saves Senator Phillips from being blown up by a literal mustache-twirling villain. Cap'n Rufus makes a cameo in a uniform clearly stolen from a London bobby; Judy is briefly seen as a singer in a flapper dress. The object of Tom's affections wrongly credits another man with saving her life and they walk off into the sunset while Tom pouts.

In Judy's flashback, she's drinking whiskey in a marabou-trimmed bathrobe when Fuller enters with a cheerful "Hiya, doll." I'm glad they didn't go with the obvious choice, which would be clothes and dialogue more suited to Black Dynamite. Cap'n Rufus asks what Judy is doing after the show. She has friends stopping by: Johnnie Walker and his brothers Blackie and Red.

Cap'n Rufus advises Judy to stop pining after the guy in the picture on her dresser. "I can't forget, Fully," she says. Rufus asks if she's an elephant. "I'm just a woman...scorned," Judy says dramatically. Rufus tells Judy to pull herself together; there's a lot of "muckity-muck" at the show tonight, including people from the William Morris Agency. Rufus yanks the glass out of her hand.

Judy goes onstage wearing a floor-length, slinky, champagne-colored dress. We hear the Senator telling the same golf joke, then it's time for Judy to perform. She has a beautiful, smoky voice. Her former beau appears in the audience. When the song ends, he waves Judy over. The accordion player sets his instrument on the stage right behind Senator Phillips' head. There's a blinking red light inside it.

Judy tells her old boyfriend, "You got a lotta moxie showing up here." He wants her back. If Judy takes him back, it'll be on her terms. She goes to the stage for her next song. The accordion player has disappeared. She notices the abandoned instrument and the red light in it.

Judy picks up the accordion, saying she wants to dedicate her next song to "all our Polish friends." She starts playing the accordion, motioning with her head for Cap'n Rufus to go into the hall. She tells Rufus the bomb is in the instrument. Judy tosses the accordion into the laundry room, where it explodes.

Judy explains to Cap'n Rufus that Lester the accordion player split after her first song. She tells Rufus to find him so she can give the folks a show. "That's my little star!" he smiles.

Back in the present, it's Blowfish's turn. He wanted to go to the dinner because he graduated from Truman High. Flashback. Blowfish is wearing a '50s letterman jacket and a tie that looks like a fish. A nerd says admiringly, "Sal, tell us again about the time you scored 7 touchdowns against Jefferson." A nerdy girl asks about Wilbur Freedman.

Wilbur was the janitor during Blowfish's freshman year. He was a weirdo who lived in the tool shed behind the football field. "One day, he took a weed whipper and turned the entire cheerleading squad into hamburger," Blowfish goes on. The nerd boy thinks Blowfish is lying about that as well as his athletic prowess.

We hear the heavy breathing of someone or something lurking in the hall. It stalks Blowfish into the bathroom, where he's patted down by one of the Senator's aides. The aide lets Senator into the bathroom. The masked janitor, armed with a weed whacker, knocks Blowfish and the aide to the floor. "What's going on out there?" a panicked Senator Phillips calls from inside his stall. Blowfish saves the politician from Wilbur, using only a toilet plunger.

Last but not least is Doug's version of events, which takes place in the format of an old, cheesy Bond movie. Doug parachutes onto the front lawn of Truman High. He straightens his hair before going in the building. A hostess in a low-cut strapless black dress asks for Doug's name. He replies, "Pen, Doug Hall." The hostess escorts him into the gym/auditorium.

Doug wins a game of roulette by betting on 00. A different woman in a revealing black dress leaves them game because she's "busted." "Yes, of course you are," says Doug. More bad double entendres are exchanged. The woman suggests they go somewhere cozy.

That place turns out to be the school kitchen, which for some reason boasts leather furniture, a desk, and a phone. The woman asks Doug to pour drinks while she puts on something more comfortable. Doug asks for her name. The woman reappears wearing a floor-length silky black nightie that covers up much more than the dress did. She introduces herself as Ample.

Doug, who found a microphone hidden in the chandelier, asks Ample where the bomb is. Blowfish enters, totally bald and carrying a taxidermied iguana in one hand and a gun in the other. Blowfish does the classic Bond villain thing of revealing his entire plan. There's a bomb in the laundry room, just behind the Senator's seat. After the explosion, the Senator's dead body will be replaced with a living lookalike. Blowfish's minion will infiltrate Washington. 

We never find out the endgame of this play because Doug shoots some kind of fog out of his watch. Doug goes down the hall and produces a lock pick from his watchband, then opens the laundry room door. Seriously, why does a high school even need a laundry room. Oh, who cares? We're at the 40-minute mark.

Ample enters and helps Doug find the bomb. One of Blowfish's henchmen is close behind. Doug fights him. The henchmen gets hit in the head with the accordion that Judy in her lounge singer dress tosses into the room. Doug successfully disarms the bomb with only 1 second remaining until detonation. Ample gushes that Doug is her hero.

Back in the present, Judy rolls her eyes and says, "I always get nervous when I disarm an air conditioner." Doug defensively tells her it was a new model. "Oh God," mutters Catherine the reporter, looking like she can't decide whether to laugh or cry. She turns off her tape recorder. Cap'n Rufus asks if Catherine got what she needs. "I did...for a kung-fu musical silent international spy epic," she replies. Compared to the Jump Street team's stories, "Batman plays like a documentary." Rufus takes Catherine to the holding cell, instructing the inmate to tell her what really happened.

During the dinner at Truman High, we see the blond inmate sitting at a table reserved for the Truman High Astronomy Club. Senator Phillips is saying some nonsense about there being high schools on Mars in the future. Instead of auto shop, kids will take rocket shop. Blond Inmate stands up, slingshot in hand, ready to fire a water balloon at Senator Phillips. "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," Blond Inmate quotes. The water balloon hits Senator Phillips in the head and he dramatically collapses. Cap'n Rufus escorts the kid to the door.

Back at the Chapel, Catherine flips her tape over to record a longer interview with Blond Inmate. Cap'n Rufus is slightly disappointed: "I don't know what she wants to interview him for. I'm the one who caught him."

We skip back to Blond Inmate being put in a police car. Cap'n Rufus, in full Western regalia and a cowboy hat, rides off on a horse. "Happy Trails" plays. End of episode.

Case #4.22: "New Breeze Blowing" AKA "Shirts and Skins"

A young man gives a graveside eulogy at his father's funeral. Doug is in the crowd. The young man's grandfather says his son was dedicated to preserving America's values. People no longer see the difference between right and wrong, but the deceased was fighting to make that clear again. The camera pulls back and we see a large swastika flag draped over the casket. And it looks like our Issue of the Week will be neo-Nazis.

Neo-Nazis in a hall pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler, "the immortal leader of our race." Everyone does a Nazi salute.

Elsewhere, a group plans to picket the murdered neo-Nazi's place of business. They're concerned about retaliation, but an overwhelming majority votes to go ahead with the demonstration as scheduled. Judy and Harry are in this group.

The young man who delivered the eulogy runs the neo-Nazi meeting. Doug sits in the back of the crowd, which is surely uncomfortable to the half-Jewish officer. The leader says they have to be cautious. Nazi Grandpa arrives and says, "Your father wouldn't have cared what anyone else thought." Young neo-Nazi says the days of wearing white sheets and "dunce caps" and burning crosses are over. A skinhead tries to attack Young Nazi. Young Nazi promises to get the group where they want to go.

Harry reads the ballistics report on the dead Nazi (Richard's) body. The weapon used was an odd caliber, possibly an antique. I'm guessing early 1940s Luger. Joe, the leader of the anti-racism group, collects antique guns. The case is bothering Judy's conscience because she agrees with Joe's beliefs. I could get into the Kim Davis debacle gripping my home state, but I won't. Harry reminds her that murder is illegal, no matter who the victim was. It's their job as cops to find out what happened.

Young Nazi misses his father Richard. Grandpa Nazi couldn't have guessed the way he talked at the meeting. Young Nazi loved Richard, but Richard wasn't a good leader. Young Nazi points out that Gramps is out of touch because he hasn't been to one of the group's meeting in 5 years. Grandpa Nazi wants to help and is coming back whether Young Nazi likes it or not. My long-term readers know how much it annoys me when the show takes upwards of 20 minutes to reveal a character's name. I looked up this episode on IMDB; Young Nazi will henceforth be referred to as Lance.

The anti-racism protesters stand outside Schalin's Auto Salvage, chanting, "Take their business, shut it down! No more Nazis in our town!" A crowd of police officers in riot gear is on hand to keep things under control. Lance and Gramps wedge their way through the crowd to the trailer that serves as the office. It's also decorated with Nazi memorabilia. Gramps is angry, "40 years ago, this wouldn't have happened." Lance reminds him that MLK hadn't been campaigning for civil rights then. 

The neo-Nazis have slogans of their own, mostly one-word insults like "pigs" and "Attica." They want to attack, but can't until Lance says so. Gramps tells a crowd of reporters that they have a right to free speech. Lance steps in to add that Hitler was "horribly misguided." "Then why is he still the figurehead of your movement?" asks a reporter. Gramps says Hitler had the ability to dream a new vision and put it into action. Lance claims his organization doesn't believe in violence.

The crowd is getting even more unruly now. Cecil tells Judy to go back to Africa and punches her in the face. Harry steps in to shield her. The cops in riot gear push the Nazis back with their shields.

Judy frets that she had to get 8 stitches. Harry asks, "Are you gonna tell your grandchildren that you kicked some skinhead butt or that you incited a riot?" Judy doesn't appreciate the remark, even though it's basically true. Harry tells her that other people could have gotten hurt. And sticks and stones may break her bones, but words may never hurt her. He suggests she try not hearing the insults.

Gramps is upset that the neo-Nazis aren't donating more money to their cause: raising bail for the members who were arrested. He tells them that their skinhead brethren have trouble finding jobs because of their haircuts. It kind of reminds me of a guy I knew in college. I wrongly assumed he was a skinhead because his hair was so short. He wound up being a nice guy and we're still friends to this day. 

Lance knows they're frustrated; that's why they're uniting and they can't take a stand if they start fighting amongst themselves. He tells a skinhead and a uniformed neo-Nazi who were arguing to shake hands. They grudgingly obey. Lance offers promotion within the movement's ranks in exchange for bail donations. Doug offers up money he made working in Idaho. Lance asks if Doug went to the Aryan Nation Church while he was there. Doug says he set up the reverend's computer system. 

Doug and the skinheads pick up Cecil from jail. Walking back from the police station, they happen upon several black men. Astonishingly, they don't decide to double back and beat them up.

Judy jokes to the racism protesters that she used her head. Joe passes out sodas to the group. He announces that every demonstration gets them one step closer to a Nazi-free city. Harry doesn't join in the merriment. He goes downstairs to look over Joe's gun collection. He can't get a close look because the guns are in a locked cabinet. Joe catches Harry. Harry says he was just admiring the collection and pretends he doesn't know anything about guns.

Joe unlocks the cabinet and shows Harry what looks like a Colt 1911. He tells Harry that he's a champion shooter at the local gun club. He asks about Harry's nationality and Harry claims to be Japanese. Joe admires Asians for their industriousness, well, except for the lazy Vietnamese that come over. 

The skinheads explain to Doug the significance of different colors of bootlaces: red is for white power, white is for white pride, and yellow laces mean you killed someone. Whoever did this did a lousy job with research. According to various Gangland and National Geographic documentaries I've seen, red means you've spilled blood for your race. Cecil has yellow laces and prefers to be called Bane. 

Another skinhead, Blitz, tells Doug he can't be one of them until he cuts his hair. Cecil refers to the neo-Nazis as "brown shirt femmes" who aren't the same as them. Doug will have to get comfortable with busting heads because they're waging war. One asks why Doug hates Jews. Doug says his parents raised him right. One guy's family fought against the Nazis. When he said Hitler should have won, his mother threw him out. The skinheads sit Doug down and turn on an electric razor.

Harry is frustrated that he can't get Judy to see Joe is dangerous. He says Joe is also a hypocrite. 

Doug tells Lance about his encounter with the skinheads; he didn't want to shave his head without talking to Lance first. Lance says he could use Doug as part of a plan to pair educated people with skinheads, most of whom are high school dropouts. The educated people can make better arguments to get others to join the white power movement.

Outside a grocery store, Harry gets accosted by the skinheads. They call him various names, then throw a punch. Harry disables the skinhead. An older man praises him for standing up to the skinheads.

The next day, Harry learns he put Bane the skinhead in the hospital. Fuller tells him all the non skinhead witnesses said Harry was just defending himself; he won't get in trouble with the department.

Lance opens up a box of brochures titled HITLER WAS RIGHT. He gets angry, crumples one up, and yells, "This is crap!" Gramps asks if there was something wrong with taking initiative. Lance explains no one will admit to being sympathetic to Hitler; they need to find another way. Gramps says Lance uses the skinheads to fight his battles and ignores them "just like every other politician." Doug suggests Lance go to the hospital and "at least pretend to care" about Bane.

Harry meets up with Joe at a restaurant. Joe wants to hear about his tussle with the skinheads and wants to reward Harry for being a hero. The skinheads' leader is dead and 2 are in the hospital; the movement is weakening. Joe wants to deal with the problem "more directly" now.

At the hospital, Bane is upset that his roommate changed the channel from Green Acres to Love Connection. Lance asks what happened. Bane claims that Harry kicked him while he was down. Lance steps out to make a phone call. Bane's nurse told him that his mom came to the hospital, but then she left. He calls her a bitch. Bane is angry that the other skinheads ran away while he was getting beaten up.

At Lance's house, a group of neo-Nazi moms are disturbed because they caught their kids watching Sesame Street, which featured interracial play. Gramps suggests they put together their own kiddie show. Lance thinks it's a dumb idea. One of the kids finds an antique Luger somewhere. Gramps tells him to put the gun down. Gramps disarms the kid. 

Thankfully, the gun isn't loaded. The kid tells Gramps he found it under the house behind some boxes. The kid promises to put it back. Gramps says the gun will be their secret.

Gramps goes out to his white car. What other color would it be? Doug happens by and picks up Gramps' keys when he drops them. Doug offers to drive the old guy home. Gramps sobs that Lance killed his father with Gramps' gun. There's a plot twist I didn't see coming.

Harry asks why Doug didn't take the gun. Doug explains that he couldn't risk blowing his cover and doesn't totally believe Gramps. Harry gets testy with Doug about how easily he goes along with the Nazis. Duh, that's his job. Doug advises Harry to figure out what's eating him.

Lance burns the HITLER WAS RIGHT pamphlets in the fireplace. Doug asks how Richard's ideas differed from Gramps'. Lance says they're both old and outdated. Gramps is violent and still living in 1941; violence isn't the way to take over in the 1990s.

Joe never had Harry pegged as a hero. The neo-Nazis eat up the publicity of Joe's methods. Joe wants to learn to defend himself. He says he's not a gloryhound; Harry will get credit and Joe will get the leftovers. Joe wants to "take care" of the skinheads as they come down to the block. Harry has other ideas, namely driving away.

Doug meets Lance at the salvage yards. The other skinheads aren't coming because Gramps bought them beer, which they decided to take to a park. Lance is upset that Gramps is undermining him. He thinks America has gone downhill since the civil rights movement. Lance thought Cecil was the person to take things to the next level, but Cecil doesn't have the brains. Lance doubts Doug has the...erm, guts. Doug asks how to prove he does.

Harry doesn't think Joe is their man. He admits that he did attack the skinheads out of anger and wanted to really hurt them. He worked hard to become part of America and the insults got to him. 

At the Nazi meeting hall, Gramps is preparing a new batch of flyers. Gramps kicks Lance out of the movement. Gramps knows the skinheads will follow him as long as he supplies them with beer. He confronts Lance about killing Richard. He tells Doug not to listen to Lance because "he's not one of us." Doug disagrees. He flashes his badge.

Doug watches from the edge of the cemetery as Gramps visits a grave. Lance is dead. Harry thinks the family will never believe that Lance hanged himself in jail, but they're entitled to that belief. Doug gives us the moral of the episode, as if we didn't already get the point: "Beliefs can hurt a lotta people."

In the final and completely unrealistic scene, Harry visits Bane in the hospital to apologize. Bane is so moved that he almost cries. Yeah, right...

Case #4.21: "Unfinished Business"

At a packed nightclub, everyone is rocking out to a live band. We zoom in on a blond young woman who's dancing enthusiastically in her wheelchair. A guy in a suede jacket and bolo tie is dancing more or less with her. The song ends and Suede Jacket wheels the girl to the table where her friends are sitting.

One of Blond Girl's friends tells her they should leave because they have an early class the next day. Suede Jacket goes back to the dance floor as the three women leave.

The next time we see Blond Girl, she's pulling into a gated parking garage, her wheelchair behind her seat. She gets the chair out and unfolds it as the gate closes. Someone approaches the car and shoves her wheelchair aside. The terrified woman screams, "NO! NO!" while a man pushes her into the car. We see her wheelchair roll away and bounce off a nearby wall. Theme song.

Cap'n Rufus reads over a file and doesn't seem to hear his phone ringing off the hook. Doug opens the door and asks why he didn't answer. Rufus replies, "I'm not in." Doug has a stack of phone messages. A woman named Rebecca has called the Chapel repeatedly. Doug asks, "What's with this Rebecca girl? She talks funny." The look he gets causes Doug to, wisely, leave the message slips and retreat.

We learn that a rapist has been targeting disabled women. One of the victims is in a coma and another has withdrawn into herself so far that she won't even use sign language. Judy volunteers to take on the investigation. Cap'n Rufus is concerned it could bring back bad memories of Judy being a date-rape victim while undercover at a medical school. Judy insists, so Rufus will send Harry as backup. While undercover, Judy will be in a wheelchair.

In a karate dojo, the wheelchair-bound instructor shows he's still fully capable of defending himself. Students of various ranks watch the demonstration. Several of them are also in wheelchairs. Sensei explains how to use various parts of the chair as a weapon. I'm not entirely sure any of these techniques would work. I'd have to defer to my mother, who has a black belt in various styles and is literally a karate master. Anyway, Sensei invites Judy to try out the techniques. She has trouble moving her chair and Sensei kindly points out the brakes. 

Back at the Chapel, Rebecca is still calling. Blowfish gets Cap'n Rufus to join his team for a run benefiting the local food bank. The captain hands over some cash for the entry fee. Blowfish is excited about his first 10K, though he admits he's "more of a waddler." Doug informs the captain that Rebecca's last call was made from her car in the Chapel parking lot. She got tired of waiting for an answer, I guess.

The infamous Rebecca appears. She has an odd, jerky gait and some speech difficulties. Rebecca, it turns out, is also a police officer. She worked for Cap'n Rufus, "but, unfortunately, not for very long," leading me to think her disability is the result of an on-the-job injury. 

Rebecca informs Cap'n Rufus she still works out every day and resents that she isn't the one investigating the rapes of disabled women. Rufus tells her he isn't allowed to send her back in the field. He reveals Rebecca has spent the last 4 years working in the records division on a computer. He's concerned that Rebecca would get hurt.

Rebecca thinks his concern is purely because she's disabled. Cap'n Rufus is always concerned about sending any of his officers out; bad things can and do happen. Rebecca tells Rufus he owes her. "That's not fair," says the captain. Rebecca argues that what happened to her wasn't fair either. Rufus, working off guilt, agrees to let her have the case. Rebecca triumphantly leaves. That was real smart, Rufus...

It's snowing on the college campus. Judy snaps at Harry when he offers to push the wheelchair for her. Harry reads her class schedule and remarks that Library Research Methods and Microeconomics sound boring. Judy tells him that Gloria and Lisa, 2 of the victims, both took those classes. Their rapist could have been a classmate.

Judy is upset that Harry thinks she's fragile and wants to be treated normally. She then asks him to return a book because she bought the wrong one for her history class. Harry says, "Do it yourself." He reminds her that she wanted to be treated normally, but does take the book.

Almost as soon as Harry walks away, Judy's wheelchair gets caught in a crack in the sidewalk. She's tilted to one side and no matter how hard she tries, she can't get the chair loose. Nobody passing by offers to help her. I kind of understand how she feels. Thanks to a foot injury, I spent my recent trip to Disney World in a wheelchair. I'm so grateful to all the nice cast members who carried my food trays to the table so I didn't have to awkwardly balance them on my lap.

Doug has been given the task of riding along with Rebecca so that she won't suspect she isn't really helping the investigation. Doug wants to know why Cap'n Rufus doesn't tell Rebecca the truth. Rufus answers that Doug doesn't know Rebecca very well, which really doesn't make a lot of sense. Doug sure will know her soon!

At the college's Disabled Student Services office, Doug pretends to paint the room while Rebecca goes through student files. She accidentally knocks a stack off the desk and almost falls out of her chair. Doug comes down from the ladder to help, but a loudmouthed guy in a black and red windbreaker says, "She can get it herself!" He asks Rebecca for the tennis tournament flyers. Of course, she has no clue where they are. Windbreaker is not happy about this.

Doug tells the guy that Rebecca is new. "I think what you mean is, she's disabled," says Windbreaker nastily. He wants to know why Rebecca should get special treatment; he's worked with disabled students for years and they want to be treated like regular people. He leaves. "Nice pecs on that one," Rebecca remarks.

Meanwhile, Judy approaches a building and has a hard time opening the door. After a couple of minutes, she finally gets inside. A man in a wheelchair follows close behind her and tells Judy that she's pretty. Judy thanks him and says she'll see him around. With a somewhat creepy smile, the man replies, "I certainly hope so." Harry arrives, later than he was supposed to, evidently. If Judy can't count on him, she'll ask Fuller to send someone else over.

At the hospital, Judy sniffles and cries as she stands beside the bed of the comatose rape victim. She exits the room and leaves her card at the nurse's station. Rebecca arrives and asks for a status report on Gloria. The nurse asks if Rebecca is with the other officer. Rebecca has no idea what she means. The nurse points out Judy, who's just getting on the elevator.

In the campus dining hall, Judy has trouble reaching some of the items of the buffet. Windbreaker Guy helpfully gives her tips on how to position herself in the wheelchair. He explains he's in charge of equipment at the physical therapy center and organizes events for disabled students. He introduces himself as Pete and offers to eat lunch with her. She accepts.

Judy puts her tray on her lap and wheels herself to a table. Pete invites her to the upcoming tennis tournament. From across the room, the man who flirted with Judy earlier is now scowling at her. Judy is visibly uneasy and asks if Pete knows him. Pete says the guy's name is "Bert something" and that he keeps to himself. That's never a good sign. Whenever they talk to people who knew a serial killer, someone always says, "He or she was so quiet."

At the disabilities office, Rebecca is still angry about not being in the field. Doug reminds her that it's not her job. Later, Rebecca and Doug find pink pieces of paper under their respective windshield wipers, an advertisement for that night's dance at the student union.

Doug sits in his truck watching as Rebecca gets in her car. She gets indignant again because he has the nerve to be concerned about her safety. Doug drives away. Once he's gone, Rebecca gets back out of her car, presumably headed to the student union dance. She sees Judy making her way down the sidewalk in her wheelchair.

Rebecca angrily tells Cap'n Rufus that she may "walk funny and talk funny," but she isn't stupid. She saw Judy pretending to need a wheelchair. Rufus tells her it's not her business why he assigned Judy. Rebecca feels Fuller has been patronizing her. Rufus doesn't have to justify himself to her; if she doesn't like her role in the case, she can go back to the records department. They have a stare down before Rebecca says she's going to campus.

Judy, Doug, and Harry talk at a table in a nightclub Doug has to leave because he's taking Clavo's babysitter home. Judy wants to stay; she thinks a guy at the bar is checking her out. "In or out of a chair, you're still a looker," Doug tells her. Harry gets up from the table and Judy warns him not to go far.

Doug spots Rebecca waiting in line to get in the club. They go to Doug's truck, where he tells her she's a pain in the ass. She wonders why Doug never asked why she's disabled. Doug, correctly, didn't think it was his business. Rebecca tells him that she was shot in the line of duty and, of course, Cap'n Rufus was the one who sent her on the assignment that forever changed her life.

Rebecca wants to do everything an able-bodied cop would during this investigation and asks Doug to look the other way. "Life with a disability is bearable, life without dignity isn't," she says. Doug stupidly agrees to not tell Cap'n Rufus she's doing fieldwork. He asks why she brought her crutch. Rebecca wanted to look more vulnerable. She assures him she knows how to use it as a weapon. Doug says they might get in his way, meaning he's not willing to sit on the sidelines. Rebecca agrees to leave the crutches.

Judy comes into Fuller's office. He's concerned that nobody's approached her yet; she has to start staying on campus later and appearing to be by herself. He tells her Rebecca knows about her. 

Pete gives Rebecca a flyer for a swim meet. She says she's too busy. Pete flatly states that she must be self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit. Rebecca retorts that she looks good in one and she's a good swimmer. Pete says she'd be a good role model.

Elsewhere, Judy tenses up when she hears a man jogging behind her wheelchair. The man changes course to pass her. She sighs when she realizes Harry noticed her panic.

Doug and Rebecca go to the nightclub. Judy sits in the student union, looking nervous as she reads a book. At the club, Doug is ready to go home, refuses to leave without Rebecca, and actually stands his ground. 

Doug picks up Clavo because the babysitter's place is on the way to Rebecca's. He climbs in the truck and Rebecca introduces herself. "Hi, I'm hungry," says Clavo. He asks in Spanish for ice cream. Rebecca agrees that ice cream sounds good, even though there's snow on the ground. 

Judy packs up to leave the student union. 

Doug gets a chocolate ice cream cone for Clavo and tells him in a bad mix of Spanish and English how not to get brain freeze. Rebecca tells him that being overprotective of Clavo will only hurt the kid in the end, which is true up to a point. Doug has clearly never thought of it that way.

Back on campus, Judy can't get her wheelchair into the handicapped stall for some reason. She turns down another girl's offer for help. When she leaves, Judy spots Bert lurking outside the women's room. The girl asks Bert if he's with Judy. "I certainly hope so," Bert answers creepily. Judy takes a small gun out of her bag before cautiously wheeling herself to the door. The hallway seems clear, though the ominously squealing synthesizer suggests otherwise.

Suddenly, Bert wheels himself out of the men's room. He says he's been waiting for Judy. He also partially blocking the hall with his wheelchair. Judy tells him to move. He grabs at her, saying he just wants to talk. Judy hops out of the wheelchair and draws her gun. Bert is, quite understandably, freaked out. Harry appears along with a crowd of students. He takes the gun away. Judy sits against the wall looking like she might cry.

Judy officially meets Rebecca at the Chapel. She's unnerved by Bert. Rebecca wisely points out that being handicapped doesn't make someone a saint. Fuller tells Rebecca he's sending her in for real; he can't stop the investigation because of Judy's episode. 

Judy and Cap'n Rufus talk alone. She thought she was over the rape, but apparently she isn't. Rufus admits to drinking more every time someone in his command gets hurt.

At the disabilities office, Pete talks Rebecca into participating in the swim meet. In the hospital, Gloria comes out of her coma. I realize for the first time that she's the girl in the wheelchair from the opening scene. Gloria can't remember what happened to her.

Doug sits at the campus indoor pool watching Rebecca practice for the swim meet. He quickly becomes distracted as a water aerobics class splashes in. He finds the girl in a bikini particularly attractive. So unrealistic. A water aerobics is way more likely to have middle-aged to elderly women participating. Doug watches Bikini Girl lead the exercise class, taking his eyes off Rebecca. 

Rebecca swims up to him with a theory. Pete said the athletic events for disabled students attract curiosity-seekers, one of whom could be the rapist. Gloria was attacked after going to the club and Lisa was raped the same night she did a music performance. "I think active disabled women trigger something in him," says Rebecca. Doug sums up my thoughts by saying, "That's really sick." This is starting to remind me of the SVU episode where a psychiatrist abducted women and amputated one of their legs.

Rebecca wants to finish swimming a mile and tells Doug not to wait up for her. Doug doesn't want to leave her alone. Rebecca points out the water aerobics class and says she isn't alone and promises to have campus security walk her to her car. This sounds eerily like conversations I've had with my own mother during occasions I've been on campus for long periods of time at night. Doug agrees to leave.

Just as the aerobics class ends, Pete enters the pool room. Pete approaches Rebecca and tells her he has to lock up, but she can finish her laps. 

Doug tells Judy about Rebecca's theory. Judy agrees that it makes sense.

Back at the pool, the lights go out. Rebecca frantically swims to the side of the pool where she left her gym bag.

Judy tells Doug what little Gloria remembers about her rape. When it was over, her rapist said she wouldn't be a good role model anymore. Doug jolts, realizing who's said that several times.

Pete pulls Rebecca out of the pool and roughly pushes her down onto the deck. Rebecca struggles and knocks them both into the water. She manages to get out and get to the gun in her gym bag. Pete is shocked, especially when she adds, "Freeze! Police!" Doug and Judy come in.

Doug, Judy, and Rebecca wrap up their case by getting lunch together at a diner. Doug and Judy place their order. The waitress sees that Rebecca is disabled and asks, "What would she like?" Doug suggests asking Rebecca that question. End of episode. Not the best episode of this show I've ever seen, but far from the worst.