At a cemetery, Booker, in his police uniform, sits with his legs dangling over the side of an open grave. A voice somewhere says, "I thought I knew you, man." Flash to Booker standing in his own yard. He runs up to the porch through the fog and hammers on the door, yelling, "Mom! Open the door!" A teenage boy and girl on the porch don't seem to notice him.
Desperate, Booker breaks into the house. He finds the living room is set up like a classroom, his mother seated at the teacher's desk. "Do you know the answer, Dennis?" she asks a couple of times. The teens begin to chant "Narc"; the word is written in big capital letters on the chalkboard.
Booker retreats upstairs to his bedroom, where there appears to be a dead body under the sheets. He frantically loads his arms with clothes from a dresser drawer. Cap'n Rufus has appeared and flicks open a switchblade. The teenage boy from the porch shoots Booker in the chest. He flies through the wall, landing neatly on his back in the bottom of an open grave, dressed in a suit.
A female psychiatrist asks Booker if he has nightmares or insomnia. Booker denies both as he lights up a cigarette. He makes it clear that he's only talking to her because the police department said he has to. He begins to tell his story.
Booker's sitting on his couch with his girlfriend. She's bored because they've watched this same vampire movie over 30 times. She wants to know more about him. Booker tells her he's on a case involving an older brother dealing drugs and teaching his younger brother the trade. Booker's girlfriend meant personal things; she asks about the scar on his face, his hatred of Chinese food, and his childhood nickname. He rattles off: "Fell off my bike, found a worm in an eggroll, Joe Cool."
Booker's girlfriend still feels like she barely knows him. "I keep to myself," Booker shrugs, "You're as much a part of my life as anybody." Booker's girlfriend is frustrated; she loves him but wants more emotional intimacy.
Booker and some kids dressed in early grunge era fashions drink beer on a deck illuminated with white paper Chinese lanterns. A brunette girl, Christine, mentions Bobby's family tradition. Bobby, we notice, is the same kid from Booker's dream. He says, "I'm not the dealer, Matt is." A boy sporting a Bret Michaels-style bandanna voices his opinion that a boy named Tyler in their driver's ed class is a narc. A redheaded girl in a leather jacket pipes up that cops have to legally tell you who they are if you ask, "Are you a narc?" Bobby says it's a myth "like she can't get pregnant the first time."
Booker turns down the teens' offer of drugs and gets more beers from the cooler. The kids want more drugs and know just where to get them. They hand Bobby a cordless phone. He heads off to call his brother in private.
Later that night, the kids wait behind a building to wait for Matt. A guy named Chet delivers the drugs instead, saying Matt had other business. Police cars swoop in. Booker is put in a paddy wagon with the kids, who are furious about getting caught. Bandanna thinks Booker is a narc. Booker points out that he sold drugs to a kid named Ronnie and "narcs can't make a sale without busting the guy." Redhead thinks it's Bobby because of the mysterious phone call.
At school the next day, a boy in a sheepskin jacket wanders into class late. It must be normal for him because the teacher pays no mind and keeps calling roll. Sheepskin Jacket sits down and whispers something to a girl. She whispers to someone else nearby. Bobby isn't in the room. The teacher asks Sheepskin Jacket to tell the class what he's whispering about. Sheepskin Jacket reluctantly stands up and announces: "Bobby Clayman was found in a trashcan this morning, shot in the head." Booker doesn't react.
In a bar, Cap'n Rufus asks Booker why he hasn't reported to the Chapel. Booker tells him that Bobby was killed. Rufus already knows. Booker says it was meant to be him and the kids are getting suspicious. Rufus wants to pull him out, but Booker thinks he can get close to Christine and learn who'd want Bobby dead. He's clearly wracked with guilt that the murderer killed the wrong person.
In the cemetery, Sheepskin Jacket says he owes a favor to whoever killed Bobby. The kids file past the open grave and take turns spitting in it. Booker can't bring himself to do it.
At Bobby's house, the clearly paranoid redhead thinks a middle-aged man that they don't know must be a cop. They see Matt go outside. Bandanna shakes his head: "He's getting stoned at his brother's wake." The grunge kids and Booker head to the back porch.
Bandanna tells Matt they'll still do business with him even though his younger brother was a narc. "You mongoloids make me puke! Get out of my face!" Matt shouts. If Bobby really was a cop, where are all the other cops paying their respects? They suggest the cops aren't there to keep the undercover conspiracy a secret. Matt storms into the house.
That night, Booker tells Christine that his dad disappeared when his parents split up and it was almost like he died. They feel closer to each other and end up kissing.
The next day at the school's outdoor cafeteria, Bandanna says Matt won't sell them drugs until they find out who the real narc is and suggests searching each other's houses. "We've never been to your house, Dennis," says Bandanna.
At Booker's childhood home, Mama Booker wonders who the kids are. Booker replies, "I'm going upstairs with my friends. Don't bother us." The grunge kids can't believe how clean Booker's room is. He says he doesn't stay in it much, just gets wasted and sleeps in his car.
Redhead finds a Polaroid on the dresser. It's of Booker, Tom, Judy, and Doug gathered around a birthday cake. Booker claims it was taken at a birthday party he had with friends from his former high school. He points out Tom and says, "He was the biggest drug dealer at my old school." Redhead is suspicious of the number of candles on the cake and starts counting. Booker tries to distract her.
Mama Booker comes in. Booker says, "Dammit, can't I have friends over without you hanging around my room?" Mama Booker tells him not to talk to her like that and adds that the kids can do their dope somewhere else. When the teens leave, Booker tells his mom not to worry about them. He takes a photo out of a dresser drawer: him and Mama and Papa Booker at his police academy graduation.
Doug and Booker play pool at a bar, the bigger cop still walking on crutches. Booker sounds paranoid, saying things like "kids know, man, they know. They can see right through us." Doug doesn't ask him to elaborate.
On Chinese lantern porch, Bandanna passes around a baggie of black pills. "Cops can't do anything illegal," he says, clearly proud of his genius. Booker swallows his pill and excuses himself. He goes into the bathroom, ramming a finger down his throat. Christine hears him puking and calls through the door, asking if he's okay.
Back on the porch, Booker's tired of all these loyalty tests. Bandanna thinks they're necessary because "nobody knew about the deal that night except us and Matt. Matt ain't a narc." At the same building where they were arrested, Bandanna readies a Molotov cocktail. Can I reiterate how annoying it is that most of the teen characters are never referred to by name?
Sheepskin Jacket is scared and tells Bandanna not to throw it. Booker grabs and bat or something and starts smashing windows. This sets off the building's burglar alarm. "Let's all go to jail!" Booker cries. "Let's all go to jail!" Sirens approach.
Booker is released from a holding cell at the precinct and picked up by Mama Booker. "I'll pay you back," he promises. He tells her the kids know he's a cop. Back in Booker's childhood room, Mama Booker sits on the bed next to him. She asks him to share some of his life with her; she knows he's scared. Abrupt cut to an apartment laundry room, where Booker asks his girlfriend to stop by later.
Booker visits Christine, whose mother is apparently okay with her having boys in her room. Booker can't stop thinking about the grave spitting incident: "It makes me sick." As well it should. Christine says she'll stand by Booker and she loves him. Booker says he loves her too and they kiss. Moving very fast for a girl whose boyfriend was just murdered, Christine puts Booker's hand on her breast. Booker pulls away, explaining he feels weird doing that so soon after Bobby's death.
On his way home, Booker sees a car following him. He pulls over and readies his gun, but the car drives right past. Booker goes to his apartment to shower and thinks he sees a shadow passing by the bathroom door. He grabs his revolver and goes to confront the intruder wearing nothing but a towel. It's only Booker's still-unnamed girlfriend, who has a key. She leaves and says she'll call him later. Christine is parked near Booker's building and sees Booker's girlfriend coming out of it.
At school, Bandanna says Survivor: Narc Edition is over. Christine offers up her house for a party; drugs on Matt. Later at the bar, Booker meets up with Doug and asks to be arrested with the grunge kids. In the bathroom, Booker practices flashing his badge and saying, "I'm the narc."
Christine shows up at Booker's apartment, saying Matt didn't want to make the deal at her house and they have to meet him somewhere else. They drive past a bank of payphones and Booker casually asks to stop for a Coke. Christine says they don't have time.
Bandanna and the other grunge kids meet Matt near what looks like the cemetery. Matt asks where Booker and Christine are. "They're probably off doin' it somewhere," says Redhead, sounding jealous.
Booker and Christine go into the same abandoned building we've seen all episode. He wants to know where Bandanna and Company are; she says they won't be there until later, then asks if he lies to the girl who was at the apartment: "I know you're the narc. I realized it last night when you wouldn't make love to me." Did she ever stop to think that a guy who doesn't wanna sleep with her just might not find her attractive? Just sayin'.
Booker didn't mean to hurt her and asks who killed Bobby.
In a reveal that should surprise nobody, Christine admits to killing Bobby to protect her friends. She accuses Booker of making her think Bobby was a narc.
She takes a gun out of her pocket. "Don't do this," Booker pleads. Christine says her life is nothing now and believed Booker loved her. She asks him to say he loves her and wants to be with her forever; Booker complies with her request. "You're lying, Dennis," she says just before jumping down an empty elevator shaft. Booker looks in horror at her dead body.
In the office, the shrink tells Booker he's a good cop. Booker doesn't want to feel guilty and worthless anymore. The shrink suggests he take some time off. Booker follows her advice.
The next we see of him, he's sipping a fruity drink at a Tiki bar. A bikini-clad girl approaches him and takes off her sunglasses. She says something that, like "narc", was repeated ad nauseam in this episode: "Sorry, I thought I knew you." Booker looks scared. End of episode.
Case #3.13: "A.W.O.L."
At a military base, Drill Sergeant Wilcox is giving a recruit named Jack Weaver a hard time while the platoon runs in formation. Weaver goes to the sergeant's office later to talk to him. Weaver, I note, is a young Patrick Labyorteaux, who went on to play Bud in JAG. Wilcox asks what Weaver's malfunction is. Montage of Wilcox screaming at Weaver during various training exercises: "Your ass belongs to the United States Army! We expect you to get your mind right! There's nothing more intimidating than a United States soldier trained to fight, kill, and survive. You will be that soldier."
Wilcox takes Weaver out to the obstacle course. The drill instructor has a pugil stick. Weaver is unarmed. Wilcox begins to hit Weaver various places while shouting over and over, "Defend yourself!" Weaver gets to his feet and disarms the instructor. Before Wilcox fully realizes what's happening, Weaver has hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious. Weaver drops the stick and runs off into the night.
Wilcox arrives at the Chapel and asks to speak to Cap'n Rufus. Rufus smiles broadly and laughs, recognizing his old Army buddy. Wilcox explains that this isn't a social call; one of his recruits took off 28 days ago. Wilcox was hard on Weaver because he thought the kid had a lot of potential to be a good soldier. "I hit him, Adam," he admits. If Weaver isn't found in 2 days, he'll be considered a deserter and the feds will get involved.
Wilcox made some calls and found out that Weaver's been hanging around at Madison High. Of all the places to hide out when you're AWOL from the military, your alma mater is not a smart choice, especially for a recent grad.
Wilcox knows what Jump Street does. He asks Cap'n Rufus to have his officers bring Weaver in. The kid will be in a lot less trouble than if the MPs or feds find him. However, the case isn't exactly under the jurisdiction of the local PD. "Sounds like something neither of us should be doing," observes Rufus. He agrees to help because Wilcox saved his life in Vietnam.
At Madison, Weaver is doing more than just hanging out; he's in the gym waiting in line to get a yearbook photo taken. Tom and Doug are further back in line. Weaver tells the photographer his last name is Jovi, then starts posing for the camera and making faces. Doug remarks that if the kid had just waited, he could've gotten out on a Section 8 anyway. Weaver leaves the gym. Doug wants to grab him and get the case over with, but Tom doesn't want to spook him.
Weaver goes to the bathroom with a friend to smoke a cigarette. His friend says that Weaver should've used Mick Jagger as an alias. Just after Tom and Doug go into the bathroom, a teacher arrives and sees the pack of cigarettes. "Put 'em out!" the teacher orders. He gives Tom, Doug, and Weaver's friend a week's detention. Weaver has already left through the locker room door.
There's a B-plot in this episode about Judy getting obscene phone calls at her desk from a woman. It's never really resolved, so I'll just focus on the main case.
The students of Madison High gather for an assembly with an Army recruiter named Colquitt. Weaver looks like a deer in the headlights and bolts out of the lecture hall. Tom and Doug chase Weaver, but lose him by the time they reach the gym. They offer to help janitor push the wooden bleachers back into place. Weaver is slinking behind the bleachers and crawls out from under them when the coast is clear.
In some type of garage or shed, Weaver's friends ask him if he was followed and where he's planning to go. Doug and Tom come in and tell Weaver that he's under arrest. Weaver's friends protest that they're treating him like a criminal. Tom says, "He is one" and puts the cuffs on him.
At the Chapel, we learn that the military base is 6 hours away. If Weaver isn't back by morning, he will officially be a deserter. Tom and Doug will be driving him back. "Don't give them any crap, Private," Cap'n Rufus warns. Weaver snipes from the holding cell that he's still a civilian.
Tom asks the million-dollar question: "Why'd you join the Army if you hate it so much?" Weaver replies that he never said he hated the Army. Doug asks, "Then why'd you bail to go hang out in high school?" "Because I hate high school," Weaver replies. Tom thinks it's gonna be a long ride and voices my own thoughts by saying that logic isn't Weaver's strong point. "Nothing is my strong point," says Weaver.
Doug says the Army is similar to the police force. Weaver argues that police officers are trained to save lives, not take them. On the road, Weaver is involuntarily twitching as he sleeps in the backseat. "Think he's dreamin' about chasin' rabbits?" Doug wonders. Weaver wakes up practically screaming and doesn't say why. Tom fiddles with the radio. The only thing that will come in clearly is a Spanish station.
Doug remembers being nervous about registering for the draft even though it was peacetime. Tom says they're lucky that registering was all they had to do and I have to agree. Doug asks what Tom's choices would be if he were drafted. Tom lists: "Air Force, Navy, Canada, Marines." Doug thinks the Marines do cool chants. "Army has 'em too," pipes up Weaver. He makes up a cadence about joining the Army because he was insane. Doug joins in, then makes up his own off-key cadence about policing. Tom decides to get into the spirit: "I don't know but I've been told! Eskimo--" Doug hits Tom lightly in the chest and says, "Hey! Not that one!" The three men sound off.
At a diner, Weaver says he wants to see a baseball game. Tom tells him, "They're all snowed out today." Weaver asks if they've ever fooled around with a tall, leggy blond or eaten crawfish. Tom points out that Weaver isn't dying. "4 years ain't that bad," adds Doug, "High school is 4 years." Tom tells Weaver, "You made your bed, now sleep in it." Weaver claims he didn't know what he was getting into; he enlisted because his SAT score was 790 and he had no other ideas about what to do with his life.
On the road, they pass a sign reading that a rest area is 2 miles away and the base is 10 miles away. Weaver asks Tom to pull over. Doug says, "Didn't I tell you to go before we left?" Tom pulls into the deserted rest area. Doug loses Rock Paper Scissors and gets to follow Weaver into the men's room. He uncuffs the kid and turns around when Weaver says he can't pee in front of people. Tom sees Weaver escape out of the bathroom's back door and run toward the nearby woods.
Tom and Doug give chase, but thanks to the Army's PT, Weaver gets far ahead of them. Doug stops at the bottom of a hill and pants, "We're not equipped to do this. Nobody'll blame us if we turn back now." Weaver slides down a different hill. Tom tackles him at the top of the next one, but Weaver breaks free. In an Indiana Jones-style stunt, Weaver grabs a large piece of bark and uses it to slide down the hill on his stomach. Doug screams in frustration. They watch him run as Tom admits they're ill-equipped for this mission.
Doug and Tom hike through the woods. Tom says they're in serious trouble because it'll be dark soon. "Yes, Mr. Den Leader. We shouldn't have gone past the rest area," says Doug. He saw on the news that you should stay put if you get lost so people can find you. "Nobody's lookin' for us," Tom reminds him. Doug knows they don't usually find lost people alive, though. "Good to know," says Tom.
Doug carefully divides a snack-size bag of chips in half. Tom asks if Doug is holding out on him. Doug doesn't appreciate his partner's attitude. "I'm just hungry," Tom says apologetically. "Me too," Doug agrees sadly. They try to sample tree bark but can barely chew it. Further down the trail, they find a berry bush. Doug can't remember if red berries or green berries are poisonous.
Doug complains that his thumbs are numb. Tom can't feel his face and suggests they start a fire. Doug says they can catch and eat animals after that. Tom adds, "Maybe we could stay and become fur traders."
Doug brings some firewood into a small clearing. He happens to have matches with him because a girl wrote her phone number on a bar matchbook. He successfully starts a fire. He and Tom celebrate. A large clump of snow falls off a tree limb overhead and lands right in the center of the fire. Doug has no more matches. "If things get really bad and you have to eat my dead carcass, will you do me a favor?" asks Doug. "What?" Tom asks. Doug replies, "Starve." Tom sees smoke coming from nearby. "It's Jack," he says, "Let's go steal his fire."
After dark, Tom and Doug approach Weaver's makeshift campsite from opposite directions. Suddenly, Doug trips and falls to the ground with a scream. Tom rushes to his side. Doug thinks his leg is broken. Tom knows Weaver can't be far and calls out for help. "I left you the fire, now leave me alone," Weaver replies, his voice echoing. Tom tells Doug not to move. Angry and in pain, Doug asks, "Where am I gonna go?"
Tom follows Weaver's voice. He pleads with the kid, saying Doug's leg is broken and Tom can't get him out of the woods by himself. Weaver thinks Tom is trying to trick him and throws Tom's earlier words back at him: "You made your bed, now sleep in it." Tom goes back to splint Doug's leg with sticks and move him closer to the fire. From his unseen vantage point, Weaver taunts, "Hey, you guys, Domino's delivers!" and cackles.
Tom goes back to following the kid's voice. Weaver argues that he's not a criminal because he's never hurt anyone. Near the base of a cliff, Tom finds Weaver in a snow cave the kid dug for himself. They strike a bargain: If Weaver helps Doug get out of the woods, Tom will let him go.
At the Chapel the next morning, Harry and Judy notice that Doug and Tom aren't back. Cap'n Rufus calls Wilcox and explains that they're missing. Wilcox will send a search party into the woods around base.
Tom and Weaver support Doug on either side, helping him limp through the woods. When they stop to rest, Weaver brings the officers some berries. He and Tom build a crude sled out of pine branches to drag Doug on. Weaver leads them to open ground near a road, which he tells them is a tank artillery range. Doug is livid: "We've been chasin' an AWOL guy around an Army base?!" Weaver laughs. Tom and Doug are not amused.
An Army truck approaches. Tom tells Weaver not to run. "You can't do this," Weaver pleads, "You promised. I saved your lives." He starts for the woods again, but Tom catches him by the arm. The truck stops. MPs take Weaver into custody and some other soldiers help Doug into the back of the truck.
In the brig, Wilcox tells Weaver that his plan didn't work; he's still a soldier. Like the kid doesn't already know that. Tom comes into the cell to say goodbye and doesn't apologize for stopping Weaver. Doug is waiting in the hallway on crutches. As the door shuts, Weaver calls another cadence of his own invention: "Penhall and Hanson took Weaver to jail! To make sure he wouldn't fail!" End of episode.
Wilcox takes Weaver out to the obstacle course. The drill instructor has a pugil stick. Weaver is unarmed. Wilcox begins to hit Weaver various places while shouting over and over, "Defend yourself!" Weaver gets to his feet and disarms the instructor. Before Wilcox fully realizes what's happening, Weaver has hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious. Weaver drops the stick and runs off into the night.
Wilcox arrives at the Chapel and asks to speak to Cap'n Rufus. Rufus smiles broadly and laughs, recognizing his old Army buddy. Wilcox explains that this isn't a social call; one of his recruits took off 28 days ago. Wilcox was hard on Weaver because he thought the kid had a lot of potential to be a good soldier. "I hit him, Adam," he admits. If Weaver isn't found in 2 days, he'll be considered a deserter and the feds will get involved.
Wilcox made some calls and found out that Weaver's been hanging around at Madison High. Of all the places to hide out when you're AWOL from the military, your alma mater is not a smart choice, especially for a recent grad.
Wilcox knows what Jump Street does. He asks Cap'n Rufus to have his officers bring Weaver in. The kid will be in a lot less trouble than if the MPs or feds find him. However, the case isn't exactly under the jurisdiction of the local PD. "Sounds like something neither of us should be doing," observes Rufus. He agrees to help because Wilcox saved his life in Vietnam.
At Madison, Weaver is doing more than just hanging out; he's in the gym waiting in line to get a yearbook photo taken. Tom and Doug are further back in line. Weaver tells the photographer his last name is Jovi, then starts posing for the camera and making faces. Doug remarks that if the kid had just waited, he could've gotten out on a Section 8 anyway. Weaver leaves the gym. Doug wants to grab him and get the case over with, but Tom doesn't want to spook him.
Weaver goes to the bathroom with a friend to smoke a cigarette. His friend says that Weaver should've used Mick Jagger as an alias. Just after Tom and Doug go into the bathroom, a teacher arrives and sees the pack of cigarettes. "Put 'em out!" the teacher orders. He gives Tom, Doug, and Weaver's friend a week's detention. Weaver has already left through the locker room door.
There's a B-plot in this episode about Judy getting obscene phone calls at her desk from a woman. It's never really resolved, so I'll just focus on the main case.
The students of Madison High gather for an assembly with an Army recruiter named Colquitt. Weaver looks like a deer in the headlights and bolts out of the lecture hall. Tom and Doug chase Weaver, but lose him by the time they reach the gym. They offer to help janitor push the wooden bleachers back into place. Weaver is slinking behind the bleachers and crawls out from under them when the coast is clear.
In some type of garage or shed, Weaver's friends ask him if he was followed and where he's planning to go. Doug and Tom come in and tell Weaver that he's under arrest. Weaver's friends protest that they're treating him like a criminal. Tom says, "He is one" and puts the cuffs on him.
At the Chapel, we learn that the military base is 6 hours away. If Weaver isn't back by morning, he will officially be a deserter. Tom and Doug will be driving him back. "Don't give them any crap, Private," Cap'n Rufus warns. Weaver snipes from the holding cell that he's still a civilian.
Tom asks the million-dollar question: "Why'd you join the Army if you hate it so much?" Weaver replies that he never said he hated the Army. Doug asks, "Then why'd you bail to go hang out in high school?" "Because I hate high school," Weaver replies. Tom thinks it's gonna be a long ride and voices my own thoughts by saying that logic isn't Weaver's strong point. "Nothing is my strong point," says Weaver.
Doug says the Army is similar to the police force. Weaver argues that police officers are trained to save lives, not take them. On the road, Weaver is involuntarily twitching as he sleeps in the backseat. "Think he's dreamin' about chasin' rabbits?" Doug wonders. Weaver wakes up practically screaming and doesn't say why. Tom fiddles with the radio. The only thing that will come in clearly is a Spanish station.
Doug remembers being nervous about registering for the draft even though it was peacetime. Tom says they're lucky that registering was all they had to do and I have to agree. Doug asks what Tom's choices would be if he were drafted. Tom lists: "Air Force, Navy, Canada, Marines." Doug thinks the Marines do cool chants. "Army has 'em too," pipes up Weaver. He makes up a cadence about joining the Army because he was insane. Doug joins in, then makes up his own off-key cadence about policing. Tom decides to get into the spirit: "I don't know but I've been told! Eskimo--" Doug hits Tom lightly in the chest and says, "Hey! Not that one!" The three men sound off.
At a diner, Weaver says he wants to see a baseball game. Tom tells him, "They're all snowed out today." Weaver asks if they've ever fooled around with a tall, leggy blond or eaten crawfish. Tom points out that Weaver isn't dying. "4 years ain't that bad," adds Doug, "High school is 4 years." Tom tells Weaver, "You made your bed, now sleep in it." Weaver claims he didn't know what he was getting into; he enlisted because his SAT score was 790 and he had no other ideas about what to do with his life.
On the road, they pass a sign reading that a rest area is 2 miles away and the base is 10 miles away. Weaver asks Tom to pull over. Doug says, "Didn't I tell you to go before we left?" Tom pulls into the deserted rest area. Doug loses Rock Paper Scissors and gets to follow Weaver into the men's room. He uncuffs the kid and turns around when Weaver says he can't pee in front of people. Tom sees Weaver escape out of the bathroom's back door and run toward the nearby woods.
Tom and Doug give chase, but thanks to the Army's PT, Weaver gets far ahead of them. Doug stops at the bottom of a hill and pants, "We're not equipped to do this. Nobody'll blame us if we turn back now." Weaver slides down a different hill. Tom tackles him at the top of the next one, but Weaver breaks free. In an Indiana Jones-style stunt, Weaver grabs a large piece of bark and uses it to slide down the hill on his stomach. Doug screams in frustration. They watch him run as Tom admits they're ill-equipped for this mission.
Doug and Tom hike through the woods. Tom says they're in serious trouble because it'll be dark soon. "Yes, Mr. Den Leader. We shouldn't have gone past the rest area," says Doug. He saw on the news that you should stay put if you get lost so people can find you. "Nobody's lookin' for us," Tom reminds him. Doug knows they don't usually find lost people alive, though. "Good to know," says Tom.
Doug carefully divides a snack-size bag of chips in half. Tom asks if Doug is holding out on him. Doug doesn't appreciate his partner's attitude. "I'm just hungry," Tom says apologetically. "Me too," Doug agrees sadly. They try to sample tree bark but can barely chew it. Further down the trail, they find a berry bush. Doug can't remember if red berries or green berries are poisonous.
Doug complains that his thumbs are numb. Tom can't feel his face and suggests they start a fire. Doug says they can catch and eat animals after that. Tom adds, "Maybe we could stay and become fur traders."
Doug brings some firewood into a small clearing. He happens to have matches with him because a girl wrote her phone number on a bar matchbook. He successfully starts a fire. He and Tom celebrate. A large clump of snow falls off a tree limb overhead and lands right in the center of the fire. Doug has no more matches. "If things get really bad and you have to eat my dead carcass, will you do me a favor?" asks Doug. "What?" Tom asks. Doug replies, "Starve." Tom sees smoke coming from nearby. "It's Jack," he says, "Let's go steal his fire."
After dark, Tom and Doug approach Weaver's makeshift campsite from opposite directions. Suddenly, Doug trips and falls to the ground with a scream. Tom rushes to his side. Doug thinks his leg is broken. Tom knows Weaver can't be far and calls out for help. "I left you the fire, now leave me alone," Weaver replies, his voice echoing. Tom tells Doug not to move. Angry and in pain, Doug asks, "Where am I gonna go?"
Tom follows Weaver's voice. He pleads with the kid, saying Doug's leg is broken and Tom can't get him out of the woods by himself. Weaver thinks Tom is trying to trick him and throws Tom's earlier words back at him: "You made your bed, now sleep in it." Tom goes back to splint Doug's leg with sticks and move him closer to the fire. From his unseen vantage point, Weaver taunts, "Hey, you guys, Domino's delivers!" and cackles.
Tom goes back to following the kid's voice. Weaver argues that he's not a criminal because he's never hurt anyone. Near the base of a cliff, Tom finds Weaver in a snow cave the kid dug for himself. They strike a bargain: If Weaver helps Doug get out of the woods, Tom will let him go.
At the Chapel the next morning, Harry and Judy notice that Doug and Tom aren't back. Cap'n Rufus calls Wilcox and explains that they're missing. Wilcox will send a search party into the woods around base.
Tom and Weaver support Doug on either side, helping him limp through the woods. When they stop to rest, Weaver brings the officers some berries. He and Tom build a crude sled out of pine branches to drag Doug on. Weaver leads them to open ground near a road, which he tells them is a tank artillery range. Doug is livid: "We've been chasin' an AWOL guy around an Army base?!" Weaver laughs. Tom and Doug are not amused.
An Army truck approaches. Tom tells Weaver not to run. "You can't do this," Weaver pleads, "You promised. I saved your lives." He starts for the woods again, but Tom catches him by the arm. The truck stops. MPs take Weaver into custody and some other soldiers help Doug into the back of the truck.
In the brig, Wilcox tells Weaver that his plan didn't work; he's still a soldier. Like the kid doesn't already know that. Tom comes into the cell to say goodbye and doesn't apologize for stopping Weaver. Doug is waiting in the hallway on crutches. As the door shuts, Weaver calls another cadence of his own invention: "Penhall and Hanson took Weaver to jail! To make sure he wouldn't fail!" End of episode.
Case #3.12: "The Dreaded Return of Russell Buckins"
Jackie annoyingly clears her throat repetitively to get Tom's attention as they both read the paper over their morning coffee. Tom isn't ignoring her on purpose; reading is part of his daily wake-up routine. Jackie shows him a magazine article she found titled "Kiddie Kops Under Kover." The horrendously misspelled headline is followed by the byline of Tom's old friend Russell Buckins. It describes a program being run out of a former chapel and there's no question he's talking about Jump Street. Tom gets upset.
Harry has read the article and is not flattered that Russell described him as "Bruce Lee clone who swiped Don Johnson's wardrobe." He blames Tom for the article. Tom is on the phone with the magazine, trying to track down Russell; he claims he needs to get in touch because he's Russell's cousin. Doug's description was equally uncharitable: "a typical bruiser who's fallen off his motorcycle one too many times."
Tom gets called into Cap'n Rufus's office. Tom will be suspended while the department figures out how badly the program is compromised and he will have to go in front of a review board. Tom has flashbacks of the drag racing and bear wrestling that occurred the last time he and Russell crossed paths.
Tom takes a cab ride to what looks like a cross between a castle and a mansion. Its driveway is lined with limos. Louise, a congressman's daughter, is getting married there later in the week. It's a private party, but Tom gets in because an elderly British man mistakes him for someone he knows named Robert Wendell. It's a stereotypical TV rich-people party with a band playing classical music and people in fancy clothes drinking champagne.
Tom is introduced to Louise. She loves Russell's writing and knows Tom's not Robert Wendell, but lets Tom stay. She tells him that when she was a teenager, she dreamed of meeting a guy and "living off love and coconuts in a grass hut." When Tom finds Russell, he punches him right in the face. Everyone is shocked, but Russell waves off their concern, saying it's a fraternity handshake. Tom drags him down the stairs and outside.
Tom tells Russell his career is now on the line because Russell used him for a story. Russell asks for 2 days so he can finish an expose he's writing about the bride's father; he won't testify before the review board on Tom's behalf if he doesn't get to stay. Tom threatens to hunt him down "and perform voodoo rituals on your internal organs" if he doesn't keep his end of the bargain. He gets in the cab and sees Russell getting awfully cozy with Louise. Tom goes back to the party.
That night, Louise dances on a balcony with her father. The congressman notices she doesn't seem happy about marrying her fiancé George; he advises his daughter not to get married if she has any doubts.
Inside, Russell tells Tom that he's really there to do a story about George. Tom sees right through this. He thinks Russell is trying to break up the engagement because Louise is rich. Russell goes outside and dances with Louise. It's obvious that she likes him on some level. The congressman goes inside and tells Tom he's suspicious of Russell's intentions toward Louise, but he doubts she's interested.
While playing pool, Russell tells George that he has bad news. The congressman's companies have been selling placebo baby medicines to third-world countries. George still has a chance to shield himself from the scandal that will ensue when the story hits the papers. George leaves. Tom has overheard everything and tells Russell, "You make me sick to my stomach. You just want $20 million. Don't tell me you aren't trying to break up this wedding because I'm capable of uncontrollable violence." Russell claims that he loves Louise. Tom says, "Don't make me puke." Russell wouldn't love her if she wasn't rich.
In the courtyard, Louise confides in Tom that George has ended their engagement. She doesn't know why, but seems relieved: "I can enjoy the festivities now that I'm not getting married." George is better suited to her social standing, but she wants a guy like Russell, "someone who'll buy me a hamster for my birthday and mow the lawn in his underwear." Russell comes outside later and sees Louise thanking Tom for something. She kisses him.
Tom drops by Russell's hotel room. The journalist offers to drive him to the airport, but Tom isn't going anywhere without Russell. Russell says that nothing could tear the couple apart if Louise and George were really meant to be together. "That doesn't mean she's meant for you," Tom points out.
The next day, the rich people are dressed all in white and playing croquet on the mansion lawn. Tom says it's cold for that and offers to take everyone bowling. They all accept and soon have a grand old time. Russell tries to take credit for the bowling trip, but nobody is listening. He wants to take Louise to a nice restaurant for lunch; she'd rather stay and have a cheeseburger. Tom and Russell argue some more in the men's room. Russell says nothing he's ever done warrants Tom "moving in on the only girl I've ever loved." Tom asks how it feels to get stabbed in the back.
Louise is sitting at the snack bar when Russell comes out. She says Tom asked her to marry him and she plans to announce it at dinner that night. Russell decides to bring Jackie to the mansion. He says Tom has been cheating with Louise, motions to the other woman, and tells Jackie, "Go fight for your man." Tom apologizes for how Jackie found out. She accepts and Louise graciously invites her to stay for dinner.
In the dining room, the congressman toasts Louise's new engagement. Russell then stands up and proposes to her. Louise is onto him, however: "You don't care about me. You only want me because I'm a rich debutante." "I'll do anything," Russell pleads, "I'll even get a real job." Louise agrees to marry him. Louise's father asks her to reconsider.
The congressman takes Russell into the parlor. He offers Russell a check for $500,000 to walk out of Louise's life. Russell won't. The congressman asks him to name his price. Russell doesn't want money. Louise hears them arguing and is thrilled that he loves her. The congressman comes out and warns his daughter that he will cut her off financially if she marries Russell.
The next thing we see is a city hall. Jackie and Tom throw birdseed at Russell and Louise; he's in shirt and tie and she's wearing a white business suit. Jackie isn't angry with Tom because she knows the whole thing with Louise was a set-up to get revenge on Russell. At the Chapel, we learn that Russell took all the blame at Tom's review board hearing. Yay, Tom isn't getting fire!
The final scene is of Russell and Louise living on an island surrounded by parrots, washing their clothes in the river, grass hut and all. A ridiculous ending for an equally stupid episode. I sincerely hope that the Russell Buckins story is not a trilogy.
Harry has read the article and is not flattered that Russell described him as "Bruce Lee clone who swiped Don Johnson's wardrobe." He blames Tom for the article. Tom is on the phone with the magazine, trying to track down Russell; he claims he needs to get in touch because he's Russell's cousin. Doug's description was equally uncharitable: "a typical bruiser who's fallen off his motorcycle one too many times."
Tom gets called into Cap'n Rufus's office. Tom will be suspended while the department figures out how badly the program is compromised and he will have to go in front of a review board. Tom has flashbacks of the drag racing and bear wrestling that occurred the last time he and Russell crossed paths.
Tom takes a cab ride to what looks like a cross between a castle and a mansion. Its driveway is lined with limos. Louise, a congressman's daughter, is getting married there later in the week. It's a private party, but Tom gets in because an elderly British man mistakes him for someone he knows named Robert Wendell. It's a stereotypical TV rich-people party with a band playing classical music and people in fancy clothes drinking champagne.
Tom is introduced to Louise. She loves Russell's writing and knows Tom's not Robert Wendell, but lets Tom stay. She tells him that when she was a teenager, she dreamed of meeting a guy and "living off love and coconuts in a grass hut." When Tom finds Russell, he punches him right in the face. Everyone is shocked, but Russell waves off their concern, saying it's a fraternity handshake. Tom drags him down the stairs and outside.
Tom tells Russell his career is now on the line because Russell used him for a story. Russell asks for 2 days so he can finish an expose he's writing about the bride's father; he won't testify before the review board on Tom's behalf if he doesn't get to stay. Tom threatens to hunt him down "and perform voodoo rituals on your internal organs" if he doesn't keep his end of the bargain. He gets in the cab and sees Russell getting awfully cozy with Louise. Tom goes back to the party.
That night, Louise dances on a balcony with her father. The congressman notices she doesn't seem happy about marrying her fiancé George; he advises his daughter not to get married if she has any doubts.
Inside, Russell tells Tom that he's really there to do a story about George. Tom sees right through this. He thinks Russell is trying to break up the engagement because Louise is rich. Russell goes outside and dances with Louise. It's obvious that she likes him on some level. The congressman goes inside and tells Tom he's suspicious of Russell's intentions toward Louise, but he doubts she's interested.
While playing pool, Russell tells George that he has bad news. The congressman's companies have been selling placebo baby medicines to third-world countries. George still has a chance to shield himself from the scandal that will ensue when the story hits the papers. George leaves. Tom has overheard everything and tells Russell, "You make me sick to my stomach. You just want $20 million. Don't tell me you aren't trying to break up this wedding because I'm capable of uncontrollable violence." Russell claims that he loves Louise. Tom says, "Don't make me puke." Russell wouldn't love her if she wasn't rich.
In the courtyard, Louise confides in Tom that George has ended their engagement. She doesn't know why, but seems relieved: "I can enjoy the festivities now that I'm not getting married." George is better suited to her social standing, but she wants a guy like Russell, "someone who'll buy me a hamster for my birthday and mow the lawn in his underwear." Russell comes outside later and sees Louise thanking Tom for something. She kisses him.
Tom drops by Russell's hotel room. The journalist offers to drive him to the airport, but Tom isn't going anywhere without Russell. Russell says that nothing could tear the couple apart if Louise and George were really meant to be together. "That doesn't mean she's meant for you," Tom points out.
The next day, the rich people are dressed all in white and playing croquet on the mansion lawn. Tom says it's cold for that and offers to take everyone bowling. They all accept and soon have a grand old time. Russell tries to take credit for the bowling trip, but nobody is listening. He wants to take Louise to a nice restaurant for lunch; she'd rather stay and have a cheeseburger. Tom and Russell argue some more in the men's room. Russell says nothing he's ever done warrants Tom "moving in on the only girl I've ever loved." Tom asks how it feels to get stabbed in the back.
Louise is sitting at the snack bar when Russell comes out. She says Tom asked her to marry him and she plans to announce it at dinner that night. Russell decides to bring Jackie to the mansion. He says Tom has been cheating with Louise, motions to the other woman, and tells Jackie, "Go fight for your man." Tom apologizes for how Jackie found out. She accepts and Louise graciously invites her to stay for dinner.
In the dining room, the congressman toasts Louise's new engagement. Russell then stands up and proposes to her. Louise is onto him, however: "You don't care about me. You only want me because I'm a rich debutante." "I'll do anything," Russell pleads, "I'll even get a real job." Louise agrees to marry him. Louise's father asks her to reconsider.
The congressman takes Russell into the parlor. He offers Russell a check for $500,000 to walk out of Louise's life. Russell won't. The congressman asks him to name his price. Russell doesn't want money. Louise hears them arguing and is thrilled that he loves her. The congressman comes out and warns his daughter that he will cut her off financially if she marries Russell.
The next thing we see is a city hall. Jackie and Tom throw birdseed at Russell and Louise; he's in shirt and tie and she's wearing a white business suit. Jackie isn't angry with Tom because she knows the whole thing with Louise was a set-up to get revenge on Russell. At the Chapel, we learn that Russell took all the blame at Tom's review board hearing. Yay, Tom isn't getting fire!
The final scene is of Russell and Louise living on an island surrounded by parrots, washing their clothes in the river, grass hut and all. A ridiculous ending for an equally stupid episode. I sincerely hope that the Russell Buckins story is not a trilogy.
Case #3.11: "Wooly Bullies"
Thanks to the episode title, the Chipmunk version of this song is now stuck in my head. Open at Grant High School. Generic doo-woop/1950's style music plays over a montage of kids leaving the building. It must be the last day of school or something because the halls resemble the wildebeest stampede from The Lion King.
Two nerds discuss math formulas. Doug appears, mullet greasy and slicked down, wearing Coke bottle glasses and a pocket protector. A muscular guy in a white T-shirt heads their way. The real nerds hastily excuse themselves and flee to the safety of the computer club room. Doug knocks on the door, tells the nerds he's good at math, and wants to join their club. "We're full up," says the nerd, pulling the door closed and nearly taking off Doug's glasses in the process.
Doug invites himself to sit with the nerds at lunch. He tells them he has a nice new computer and wonders why he can't hang out with them. The bully in the white T-shirt is watching them. "That's why," says one of the nerds. The bully pours the contents of Doug's milk carton into his shirt pocket. Doug is obviously restraining himself from fighting back.
Cap'n Rufus calls Doug into his office, wanting to know where he's been; Harry said Doug didn't come home the night before and Doug also didn't report to work that morning. "I cut school," Doug explains. Rufus reminds him that he's not in 8th grade. He sees Doug looks upset and asks if he wants to talk.
Doug's current case involves the nerds at Grant High hacking into the school computers and changing everyone's grades. Doug explains that he's getting bullied and "I'm stuck in this Clark Kent cover and can't do nothin' about it." Cap'n Rufus chuckles; nobody has come to him about being bullied since he took over Jump Street.
White T-shirt reminds Doug of somebody who picked on him in school. Doug asks the captain if he was ever bullied. Rufus was, as I think everyone has been. "Doesn't it still make you so mad you could rip his lungs out through his nose?" asks Doug. Rufus tells Doug that he wasn't always a sharp dresser himself.
Flashback to 13-year-old Cap'n Rufus sporting Coke bottle glasses, rolled up pants with white socks, and shirt buttoned up all the way. Young Rufus's biggest problem then was Leon, a kid who called himself The Leader of the Pack and thought he was something else because he once sang doo-wop on American Bandstand. On Rufus's way to school, he passes Leon and company singing on the street corner. They stop when they see him. By the way, 13-year-old Rufus is played by a young Larenz Tate, AKA Black Shawn from Rescue Me. Leon makes fun of Young Rufus's clothes.
Leon offers to teach Young Rufus to dress cool and tells him to ditch the white socks. Young Rufus protests that it's 20 degrees outside. Leon gives Young Rufus the choice of taking off the socks or taking off the socks and pants. In voiceover, the older Rufus reveals that Leon was his cousin; his younger self had to walk past the corner where Leon liked to sing or go 20 minutes out of his way to get to school. The next day, Leon gives Young Rufus another fun choice: steal himself a new outfit from a nearby store or sing Shirelles songs in the nude. Young Rufus picks Option A.
In front of the store, Leon gives Fuller a list of things to take: khaki chinos, All-Star high-tops, an alligator belt, two sharkskin suits, and ties (no paisley). Young Rufus doesn't get how he can leave the store with all that and not get caught. Leon tells Young Rufus to take the suits, etc. to the dressing room and put them on under his regular clothes. Young Rufus hesitantly goes into the store. Leon and his gang laugh at him through the front window. Young Rufus comes waddling out of the dressing room thanks to all the extra layers. He gets busted at the door by a policeman.
"So that's what made you become a cop?" Doug asks. Cap'n Rufus corrects him, "That's what made me a sharp dresser." He, Doug, and Blowfish share some laughs and high-fives. Blowfish tells them about his high school bully Russell Pasquale.
Flashback. Teen Blowfish had several rackets going back in the day. He sold cigarettes, airplane bottles of liquor, and concert tickets out of his locker; he also had his own little sportsbook. Russell was the only guy in Blowfish's high school who was too old to be drafted; rumor had it he kept failing on purpose so he could hang out with his girlfriend Sheila.
Russell asks to make a bet on Monday Night Football. Teen Blowfish says he just closed up shop but relents. Russell tells Teen Blowfish to fill in the team on his betting slip after the game. Russell swipes a pack of cigarettes from the open locker and later bets on a college football game between Atlantic City College and Bayonne. Russell keeps betting on nonexistent teams and Teen Blowfish is too scared of him to refuse to take the money.
Sheila comes by one day to collect her boyfriend's winnings: "This Atlantic City College, they're, like, good at football, huh? You know, I'm thinking I should go to this Atlantic City College. Don't tell Russell, but I'm gonna graduate this year." Teen Blowfish tells her it's a good school and "they hold classes on the boardwalk."
"Sounds like you were the victim of an illegal shakedown of an illegal operation," Cap'n Rufus says. Teen Blowfish was left with one option: go to his uncle Tony, "a very important man," which sounds much nicer than "mobbed up." Blowfish asked his uncle to have Russell bumped off, but Uncle Tony "wasn't in the business of knocking off 10th graders."
Uncle Tony had another solution. His associates had the score of a fake game between Atlantic City College and Hackensack State printed on the local sports page. Russell bet on AC and lost $250.
Everyone eats pizza around the big squadroom table. Doug says that what happened to Blowfish and Cap'n Rufus "are not things that are going to scar you for the rest of your life." "They could," Tom reasons. Back in 4th grade, a bully used to hit Tom in the face every day at recess.
Flashback. The school nurse asks Young Tom how he managed to kick himself in the nose. Young Tom says it was an accident. The nurse rattles off a long list of "accidents" and wonders if Young Tom needs glasses. Tom Senior gave his son boxing lessons to help him deal with the problem, not knowing the bully's name was Maureen, meaning Tom couldn't fight back.
4th grade was also the year Mrs. Hanson signed Tom up for ballroom dancing lessons. Maureen was in his class "armed with a deadly pair of tap shoes." At recess one day, the nurse spots Young Tom sitting on the playground bench. "I've seen the way Maureen's been treating you," she says gently and asks if Tom knows why Maureen picks on him.
"It's because I won't hit her," Young Tom replies and I think he's right. The nurse thinks Maureen has a crush on him. "Gross," Young Tom comments. The nurse suggests that he invite Maureen to the cotillion. I always thought cotillions were for older kids?
The next day at recess, Maureen greets him with, "Hiya, runt. Where ya been hiding?" Tom tells her that he knows Maureen picks on him because she likes him and asks her to be his partner at the cotillion. "Gee, I don't know what else I can say except...FORGET IT!" Maureen says. She plows her swing right into Young Tom, knocking him against the trashcans.
At the cotillion, Young Tom stands against the wall. The only girl without a partner is, you guessed it, Maureen. She looks deceptively angelic in her pink dress with lace ruffles and white gloves. "Your offer is accepted with pleasure," she says. She pulls him onto the dance floor and they start to waltz.
Voiceover as the rest of Jump Street tries to find out what happened next. Doug: "She tried to trip you?" Harry: "She socked you in the jaw?" Judy: "She pushed you into the punchbowl?" None of the above. They started to enjoy each other's company. Young Tom tried to grab her butt like he'd seen older guys do, but "she wasn't ready." Instead of slapping him, though, Maureen just moves his hand to her waist.
"The first of many feisty women in your life," Judy smiles. Booker tells a story from his youth. When he was 10, a bully tried to steal his lunch money. He knocked the boy out and went right on into school. "Macho man," Cap'n Rufus teases. Doug is not impressed by anyone's stories.
Flashback. "After my parents died," Doug narrates, "I moved to a new town with my aunt and uncle." Young Doug sits at his desk with a KICK ME sign taped to his back. His biggest problem at his new school was Jack Archer: "There was somethin' about me this kid just didn't like. I think he said it was my face." Little Doug is wearing his Saint Michael medal, nice nod to the present.
Jack liked to shoot rubber bands and spitballs at Doug. He called him Penpal and told Doug to call him Mr. Jack. Outside school one morning, Jack steals Little Doug's lunch. One bite of the sandwich convinces Jack he doesn't like tuna. He swipes Little Doug's hat, puts the sandwich inside it, and plops the hat back on his victim's head. "Finally, I had to ask my aunt to pack me two lunches," Doug narrates, "one for me to eat and one for Jack to shove in my face."
"Doug, that's awful," Judy says sympathetically. Doug is just glad his aunt never packed walnuts. Jack also liked to knock Doug's books out of his hands just to watch him pick them up. He'd do it over and over until Doug started chucking his own books on the ground to save him the trouble.
For the science fair, Doug made a toothpick model of Apollo 15. Little Doug weaves around parked cars and the like, trying to get to school without meeting his nemesis. In the school courtyard, Jack is waiting. He threatens to set Little Doug's project on fire and waves a cigarette lighter. Little Doug takes a step backwards, and falls. The rocket model hits the ground, shattering into pieces. "Why'd you do that, jerk? I wasn't gonna do nothin' to it," says Jack.
After school, Little Doug tosses the remains of his project into the fireplace. Uncle Nick, played by the late great Dom DeLuise, sits reading a newspaper. Little Doug asks his uncle if they can talk about something. "That depends. Is it something that's gonna give me happiness, sadness, gladness, or heartburn?" asks Uncle Nick. Little Doug wishes he'd never moved. Uncle Nick doesn't understand what's wrong with the town: "It's got trees, that park, good school."
Little Doug doesn't like the kids at school. Uncle Nick gasps in realization, "That Archer boy. Still? Did you tell your teacher?" Doug firmly tells his uncle that he's a wimp, not a snitch. Uncle Nick gives Little Doug classic parent advice about bullies: They're just cowards and they'll leave you alone if you stand up to them. I'd be genuinely shocked if that's ever worked for anybody.
"You didn't fall for that, did you?" Booker asks in the present. Tom winces and says, "Oh God, I can't look."
Flashback. After school, Jack taunts Doug. Doug calls Jack a dipstick. Jack takes a step forward. "I'm warnin' ya!" Doug says, throwing his books to the ground. Jack overturns a trashcan and plops it on Doug's head. The kids nearby laugh.
Uncle Nick's bullyproofing tip was Doug's first lesson in "don't believe everything you hear." Booker wonders why parents give advice like that. Cap'n Rufus suggests, "I think it's because they want their children to get right what they never could." Plus Uncle Nick doesn't seem to have had kids of his own and did the best he could at being an instant dad. "This guy Jack, he terrorized me for 5 more years," Doug goes on, "Somehow, he always ended up in my class."
Flashback to high school. Doug's younger self is now being played by Peter DeLuise's real life little brother Michael, who will be referred to in this recap as Doug/Mike because writing "Teen [Character Name]" is getting old. Doug/Mike has a KICK ME sign taped to his back. While sitting in class minding his own business, Jack jabs him in the ass with a safety pin. "OW!" Doug/Mike screams. Everyone turns to stare at him. The teacher asks if there's a problem. Doug/Mike says no.
Adding fuel to his embarrassment is Doug/Mike's redheaded crush Carol, who sees the whole thing happen. "This girl, I mean, she looked like she came out of a shampoo ad," Doug narrates. We see Carol performing at a pep rally in her cheerleading uniform. Doug/Mike watches in the bleachers, spellbound. "I wanted to ask her out to the prom so bad," says Doug.
After the pep rally, Doug/Mike is getting a drink from the water fountain when someone pushes his face into it. I have my own private flashback to the girl who bullied me in nursery school and kindergarten. "Sorry, I thought you were somebody else," Carol apologizes. Doug/Mike is lost for words and stammers, "I thought you were somebody else too." Carol dries his face off with a tissue.
Carol knows this will sound backwards, but she wants to know if Doug/Mike will take her to the prom. Doug/Mike opens his mouth and makes a funny noise. "Is that a yes?" asks Carol. Doug/Mike nods. Carol promises she'll talk to him at lunch because she's late for class. Doug/Mike grins in a dopey way as she leaves.
"Finally, a reason to believe that the world wasn't designed to torture a 16-year-old kid named Doug Penhall," Doug narrates, "The big night comes. I buy the finest tuxedo money can rent." In his room, Doug/Mike listens to "Night Fever." He practices his dance moves in nothing but a bath towel and his bowtie. Somebody call Chippendales! "My uncle, he loans me his cherry 1957 convertible Cadillac. He never let anyone drive that car," Doug goes on.
Doug/Mike comes into Uncle Nick's living room in his tuxedo, carrying the corsage box under his arm. "If anything happens to the car, you call me immediately. Understand?" says Uncle Nick as he hands over the keys. He puts a red carnation in his nephew's buttonhole. Doug/Mike asks how he looks. "Your garage door is open," says Uncle Nick. Doug/Mike zips up. "I'm surprised you didn't feel the breeze," Uncle Nick jokes, "Have a good time." "She's not that kinda girl," Doug/Mike says. Uncle Nick laughs, "You know I mean be a gentleman."
Doug/Mike promises to be careful with the car. Uncle Nick asks if he ever told Doug/Mike about his prom. We get the feeling that it's a long story Doug/Mike has heard several times because he says it's getting late and he has to pick Carol up. Uncle Nick asks if Carol is pretty. "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Doug/Mike grins. He starts to leave. "Just a minute!" Uncle Nick calls. He wants a picture because he's never seen Doug/Mike in a tie.
Doug/Mike protests but agrees. "I'm very proud of you," says a teary-eyed Uncle Nick, giving his nephew a kiss on the cheek. He snaps a picture, nearly blinding Doug/Mike with the flash.
Doug/Mike drives up to the school. For some reason, it's snowing; every prom I've ever been to or heard of has been in the spring. The kids outside watch admiringly as Doug/Mike pulls the classic convertible up to the curb. He gets out and walks around to open Carol's door. "Rad-lookin' wheels, Penpal," taunts a dateless Jack, "Is it yours?" He peeks through the window and sees Carol: "Hello, sweetheart!" Jack gets in the front seat and locks the door. He rolls down the window to ask, "This thing get FM?"
Doug/Mike tells him to get out: "I gotta park it." "Why didn't you say so?" asks Jack, "Let me park it." He starts the Cadillac. Doug/Mike pleads with him to get out of the car. Jack pulls away. "Archer!" Doug/Mike yells after him. Offscreen, there's a loud crash.
In the squadroom, everyone looks solemn. "I swore that night that I would die before I let anyone step on me again," says Doug. Booker asks why Doug didn't go to Jack's house and crack him in the head with a tire iron. Doug never got the chance because Jack moved away. Uncle Nick eventually forgave Doug, but Doug still hasn't forgiven himself. "There is no justice," says Judy. Booker amends that, "Gotta make your own justice."
Doug takes a long walk through the city in the rain, wearing his trusty trenchcoat. What looks like either hours later or the next morning, he arrives at a house and knocks on the door. Uncle Nick answers and invites him in. They sit down by the fireplace with coffee mugs and a plate of cookies. Doug says, "I think I recognize those from Christmas." Uncle Nick gets defensive: "They were in the freezer."
Doug asks, "Did you call the guy, find out where he lives?" Uncle Nick gives Doug a piece of paper from his breast pocket and tells him the address is 45 minutes away. He knows this is about Jack: "That happened 8 years ago. Why don't you forget about it?" Doug can't forget until there's justice. Uncle Nick tries to reason with him: "It's too late now. You're a grown man." Doug sets down his coffee mug and says it hurts too much. "It hurts if you let it," Uncle Nick counters. He squeezes his nephew's shoulder and advises, "Leave it behind, Douglas."
Doug stands up, grabs his coat, and kisses Uncle Nick on the cheek. Sometime later, Doug is sitting on his motorcycle in front of a rundown house. He makes up his mind and goes up to the porch. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. Harsh coughing is his reply. The door swings open. Jack has either a split lip or a wicked cold sore and nasty teeth. He looks like an addict.
Doug asks if he's Jack Archer. "Who wants to know?" Jack challenges. From somewhere else in the house, a woman calls out, "If that's one of your lowlife pals, tell him ya ain't goin' out tonight!" Jack tells her to shut up. He asks what Doug wants. "Nothing," Doug replies after a minute. As he lopes back down the porch, he can hear Jack's wife screaming at him some more. Doug smiles broadly to himself as he kickstarts his motorcycle.
Doug, back in nerd attire, asks the Grant High Computer Club kids for help writing a program. The nameless bully comes up to them. He calls Doug a pimple (what the hell kind of insult is that?) and knocks his books out of his hands. Doug grabs the bully's fingers in a death grip and calmly tells him to be nicer: "One day, you're gonna shrink, you're gonna lose all your hair, and you might even wind up married to a cow."
Doug lets go and of course the bully leaves. One of the nerds hands Doug his books. The nerds invite him to join computer club and say they run the school. End of episode.
Two nerds discuss math formulas. Doug appears, mullet greasy and slicked down, wearing Coke bottle glasses and a pocket protector. A muscular guy in a white T-shirt heads their way. The real nerds hastily excuse themselves and flee to the safety of the computer club room. Doug knocks on the door, tells the nerds he's good at math, and wants to join their club. "We're full up," says the nerd, pulling the door closed and nearly taking off Doug's glasses in the process.
Doug invites himself to sit with the nerds at lunch. He tells them he has a nice new computer and wonders why he can't hang out with them. The bully in the white T-shirt is watching them. "That's why," says one of the nerds. The bully pours the contents of Doug's milk carton into his shirt pocket. Doug is obviously restraining himself from fighting back.
Cap'n Rufus calls Doug into his office, wanting to know where he's been; Harry said Doug didn't come home the night before and Doug also didn't report to work that morning. "I cut school," Doug explains. Rufus reminds him that he's not in 8th grade. He sees Doug looks upset and asks if he wants to talk.
Doug's current case involves the nerds at Grant High hacking into the school computers and changing everyone's grades. Doug explains that he's getting bullied and "I'm stuck in this Clark Kent cover and can't do nothin' about it." Cap'n Rufus chuckles; nobody has come to him about being bullied since he took over Jump Street.
White T-shirt reminds Doug of somebody who picked on him in school. Doug asks the captain if he was ever bullied. Rufus was, as I think everyone has been. "Doesn't it still make you so mad you could rip his lungs out through his nose?" asks Doug. Rufus tells Doug that he wasn't always a sharp dresser himself.
Flashback to 13-year-old Cap'n Rufus sporting Coke bottle glasses, rolled up pants with white socks, and shirt buttoned up all the way. Young Rufus's biggest problem then was Leon, a kid who called himself The Leader of the Pack and thought he was something else because he once sang doo-wop on American Bandstand. On Rufus's way to school, he passes Leon and company singing on the street corner. They stop when they see him. By the way, 13-year-old Rufus is played by a young Larenz Tate, AKA Black Shawn from Rescue Me. Leon makes fun of Young Rufus's clothes.
Leon offers to teach Young Rufus to dress cool and tells him to ditch the white socks. Young Rufus protests that it's 20 degrees outside. Leon gives Young Rufus the choice of taking off the socks or taking off the socks and pants. In voiceover, the older Rufus reveals that Leon was his cousin; his younger self had to walk past the corner where Leon liked to sing or go 20 minutes out of his way to get to school. The next day, Leon gives Young Rufus another fun choice: steal himself a new outfit from a nearby store or sing Shirelles songs in the nude. Young Rufus picks Option A.
In front of the store, Leon gives Fuller a list of things to take: khaki chinos, All-Star high-tops, an alligator belt, two sharkskin suits, and ties (no paisley). Young Rufus doesn't get how he can leave the store with all that and not get caught. Leon tells Young Rufus to take the suits, etc. to the dressing room and put them on under his regular clothes. Young Rufus hesitantly goes into the store. Leon and his gang laugh at him through the front window. Young Rufus comes waddling out of the dressing room thanks to all the extra layers. He gets busted at the door by a policeman.
"So that's what made you become a cop?" Doug asks. Cap'n Rufus corrects him, "That's what made me a sharp dresser." He, Doug, and Blowfish share some laughs and high-fives. Blowfish tells them about his high school bully Russell Pasquale.
Flashback. Teen Blowfish had several rackets going back in the day. He sold cigarettes, airplane bottles of liquor, and concert tickets out of his locker; he also had his own little sportsbook. Russell was the only guy in Blowfish's high school who was too old to be drafted; rumor had it he kept failing on purpose so he could hang out with his girlfriend Sheila.
Russell asks to make a bet on Monday Night Football. Teen Blowfish says he just closed up shop but relents. Russell tells Teen Blowfish to fill in the team on his betting slip after the game. Russell swipes a pack of cigarettes from the open locker and later bets on a college football game between Atlantic City College and Bayonne. Russell keeps betting on nonexistent teams and Teen Blowfish is too scared of him to refuse to take the money.
Sheila comes by one day to collect her boyfriend's winnings: "This Atlantic City College, they're, like, good at football, huh? You know, I'm thinking I should go to this Atlantic City College. Don't tell Russell, but I'm gonna graduate this year." Teen Blowfish tells her it's a good school and "they hold classes on the boardwalk."
"Sounds like you were the victim of an illegal shakedown of an illegal operation," Cap'n Rufus says. Teen Blowfish was left with one option: go to his uncle Tony, "a very important man," which sounds much nicer than "mobbed up." Blowfish asked his uncle to have Russell bumped off, but Uncle Tony "wasn't in the business of knocking off 10th graders."
Uncle Tony had another solution. His associates had the score of a fake game between Atlantic City College and Hackensack State printed on the local sports page. Russell bet on AC and lost $250.
Everyone eats pizza around the big squadroom table. Doug says that what happened to Blowfish and Cap'n Rufus "are not things that are going to scar you for the rest of your life." "They could," Tom reasons. Back in 4th grade, a bully used to hit Tom in the face every day at recess.
Flashback. The school nurse asks Young Tom how he managed to kick himself in the nose. Young Tom says it was an accident. The nurse rattles off a long list of "accidents" and wonders if Young Tom needs glasses. Tom Senior gave his son boxing lessons to help him deal with the problem, not knowing the bully's name was Maureen, meaning Tom couldn't fight back.
4th grade was also the year Mrs. Hanson signed Tom up for ballroom dancing lessons. Maureen was in his class "armed with a deadly pair of tap shoes." At recess one day, the nurse spots Young Tom sitting on the playground bench. "I've seen the way Maureen's been treating you," she says gently and asks if Tom knows why Maureen picks on him.
"It's because I won't hit her," Young Tom replies and I think he's right. The nurse thinks Maureen has a crush on him. "Gross," Young Tom comments. The nurse suggests that he invite Maureen to the cotillion. I always thought cotillions were for older kids?
The next day at recess, Maureen greets him with, "Hiya, runt. Where ya been hiding?" Tom tells her that he knows Maureen picks on him because she likes him and asks her to be his partner at the cotillion. "Gee, I don't know what else I can say except...FORGET IT!" Maureen says. She plows her swing right into Young Tom, knocking him against the trashcans.
At the cotillion, Young Tom stands against the wall. The only girl without a partner is, you guessed it, Maureen. She looks deceptively angelic in her pink dress with lace ruffles and white gloves. "Your offer is accepted with pleasure," she says. She pulls him onto the dance floor and they start to waltz.
Voiceover as the rest of Jump Street tries to find out what happened next. Doug: "She tried to trip you?" Harry: "She socked you in the jaw?" Judy: "She pushed you into the punchbowl?" None of the above. They started to enjoy each other's company. Young Tom tried to grab her butt like he'd seen older guys do, but "she wasn't ready." Instead of slapping him, though, Maureen just moves his hand to her waist.
"The first of many feisty women in your life," Judy smiles. Booker tells a story from his youth. When he was 10, a bully tried to steal his lunch money. He knocked the boy out and went right on into school. "Macho man," Cap'n Rufus teases. Doug is not impressed by anyone's stories.
Flashback. "After my parents died," Doug narrates, "I moved to a new town with my aunt and uncle." Young Doug sits at his desk with a KICK ME sign taped to his back. His biggest problem at his new school was Jack Archer: "There was somethin' about me this kid just didn't like. I think he said it was my face." Little Doug is wearing his Saint Michael medal, nice nod to the present.
Jack liked to shoot rubber bands and spitballs at Doug. He called him Penpal and told Doug to call him Mr. Jack. Outside school one morning, Jack steals Little Doug's lunch. One bite of the sandwich convinces Jack he doesn't like tuna. He swipes Little Doug's hat, puts the sandwich inside it, and plops the hat back on his victim's head. "Finally, I had to ask my aunt to pack me two lunches," Doug narrates, "one for me to eat and one for Jack to shove in my face."
"Doug, that's awful," Judy says sympathetically. Doug is just glad his aunt never packed walnuts. Jack also liked to knock Doug's books out of his hands just to watch him pick them up. He'd do it over and over until Doug started chucking his own books on the ground to save him the trouble.
For the science fair, Doug made a toothpick model of Apollo 15. Little Doug weaves around parked cars and the like, trying to get to school without meeting his nemesis. In the school courtyard, Jack is waiting. He threatens to set Little Doug's project on fire and waves a cigarette lighter. Little Doug takes a step backwards, and falls. The rocket model hits the ground, shattering into pieces. "Why'd you do that, jerk? I wasn't gonna do nothin' to it," says Jack.
After school, Little Doug tosses the remains of his project into the fireplace. Uncle Nick, played by the late great Dom DeLuise, sits reading a newspaper. Little Doug asks his uncle if they can talk about something. "That depends. Is it something that's gonna give me happiness, sadness, gladness, or heartburn?" asks Uncle Nick. Little Doug wishes he'd never moved. Uncle Nick doesn't understand what's wrong with the town: "It's got trees, that park, good school."
Little Doug doesn't like the kids at school. Uncle Nick gasps in realization, "That Archer boy. Still? Did you tell your teacher?" Doug firmly tells his uncle that he's a wimp, not a snitch. Uncle Nick gives Little Doug classic parent advice about bullies: They're just cowards and they'll leave you alone if you stand up to them. I'd be genuinely shocked if that's ever worked for anybody.
"You didn't fall for that, did you?" Booker asks in the present. Tom winces and says, "Oh God, I can't look."
Flashback. After school, Jack taunts Doug. Doug calls Jack a dipstick. Jack takes a step forward. "I'm warnin' ya!" Doug says, throwing his books to the ground. Jack overturns a trashcan and plops it on Doug's head. The kids nearby laugh.
Uncle Nick's bullyproofing tip was Doug's first lesson in "don't believe everything you hear." Booker wonders why parents give advice like that. Cap'n Rufus suggests, "I think it's because they want their children to get right what they never could." Plus Uncle Nick doesn't seem to have had kids of his own and did the best he could at being an instant dad. "This guy Jack, he terrorized me for 5 more years," Doug goes on, "Somehow, he always ended up in my class."
Flashback to high school. Doug's younger self is now being played by Peter DeLuise's real life little brother Michael, who will be referred to in this recap as Doug/Mike because writing "Teen [Character Name]" is getting old. Doug/Mike has a KICK ME sign taped to his back. While sitting in class minding his own business, Jack jabs him in the ass with a safety pin. "OW!" Doug/Mike screams. Everyone turns to stare at him. The teacher asks if there's a problem. Doug/Mike says no.
Adding fuel to his embarrassment is Doug/Mike's redheaded crush Carol, who sees the whole thing happen. "This girl, I mean, she looked like she came out of a shampoo ad," Doug narrates. We see Carol performing at a pep rally in her cheerleading uniform. Doug/Mike watches in the bleachers, spellbound. "I wanted to ask her out to the prom so bad," says Doug.
After the pep rally, Doug/Mike is getting a drink from the water fountain when someone pushes his face into it. I have my own private flashback to the girl who bullied me in nursery school and kindergarten. "Sorry, I thought you were somebody else," Carol apologizes. Doug/Mike is lost for words and stammers, "I thought you were somebody else too." Carol dries his face off with a tissue.
Carol knows this will sound backwards, but she wants to know if Doug/Mike will take her to the prom. Doug/Mike opens his mouth and makes a funny noise. "Is that a yes?" asks Carol. Doug/Mike nods. Carol promises she'll talk to him at lunch because she's late for class. Doug/Mike grins in a dopey way as she leaves.
"Finally, a reason to believe that the world wasn't designed to torture a 16-year-old kid named Doug Penhall," Doug narrates, "The big night comes. I buy the finest tuxedo money can rent." In his room, Doug/Mike listens to "Night Fever." He practices his dance moves in nothing but a bath towel and his bowtie. Somebody call Chippendales! "My uncle, he loans me his cherry 1957 convertible Cadillac. He never let anyone drive that car," Doug goes on.
Doug/Mike comes into Uncle Nick's living room in his tuxedo, carrying the corsage box under his arm. "If anything happens to the car, you call me immediately. Understand?" says Uncle Nick as he hands over the keys. He puts a red carnation in his nephew's buttonhole. Doug/Mike asks how he looks. "Your garage door is open," says Uncle Nick. Doug/Mike zips up. "I'm surprised you didn't feel the breeze," Uncle Nick jokes, "Have a good time." "She's not that kinda girl," Doug/Mike says. Uncle Nick laughs, "You know I mean be a gentleman."
Doug/Mike promises to be careful with the car. Uncle Nick asks if he ever told Doug/Mike about his prom. We get the feeling that it's a long story Doug/Mike has heard several times because he says it's getting late and he has to pick Carol up. Uncle Nick asks if Carol is pretty. "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Doug/Mike grins. He starts to leave. "Just a minute!" Uncle Nick calls. He wants a picture because he's never seen Doug/Mike in a tie.
Doug/Mike protests but agrees. "I'm very proud of you," says a teary-eyed Uncle Nick, giving his nephew a kiss on the cheek. He snaps a picture, nearly blinding Doug/Mike with the flash.
Doug/Mike drives up to the school. For some reason, it's snowing; every prom I've ever been to or heard of has been in the spring. The kids outside watch admiringly as Doug/Mike pulls the classic convertible up to the curb. He gets out and walks around to open Carol's door. "Rad-lookin' wheels, Penpal," taunts a dateless Jack, "Is it yours?" He peeks through the window and sees Carol: "Hello, sweetheart!" Jack gets in the front seat and locks the door. He rolls down the window to ask, "This thing get FM?"
Doug/Mike tells him to get out: "I gotta park it." "Why didn't you say so?" asks Jack, "Let me park it." He starts the Cadillac. Doug/Mike pleads with him to get out of the car. Jack pulls away. "Archer!" Doug/Mike yells after him. Offscreen, there's a loud crash.
In the squadroom, everyone looks solemn. "I swore that night that I would die before I let anyone step on me again," says Doug. Booker asks why Doug didn't go to Jack's house and crack him in the head with a tire iron. Doug never got the chance because Jack moved away. Uncle Nick eventually forgave Doug, but Doug still hasn't forgiven himself. "There is no justice," says Judy. Booker amends that, "Gotta make your own justice."
Doug takes a long walk through the city in the rain, wearing his trusty trenchcoat. What looks like either hours later or the next morning, he arrives at a house and knocks on the door. Uncle Nick answers and invites him in. They sit down by the fireplace with coffee mugs and a plate of cookies. Doug says, "I think I recognize those from Christmas." Uncle Nick gets defensive: "They were in the freezer."
Doug asks, "Did you call the guy, find out where he lives?" Uncle Nick gives Doug a piece of paper from his breast pocket and tells him the address is 45 minutes away. He knows this is about Jack: "That happened 8 years ago. Why don't you forget about it?" Doug can't forget until there's justice. Uncle Nick tries to reason with him: "It's too late now. You're a grown man." Doug sets down his coffee mug and says it hurts too much. "It hurts if you let it," Uncle Nick counters. He squeezes his nephew's shoulder and advises, "Leave it behind, Douglas."
Doug stands up, grabs his coat, and kisses Uncle Nick on the cheek. Sometime later, Doug is sitting on his motorcycle in front of a rundown house. He makes up his mind and goes up to the porch. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. Harsh coughing is his reply. The door swings open. Jack has either a split lip or a wicked cold sore and nasty teeth. He looks like an addict.
Doug asks if he's Jack Archer. "Who wants to know?" Jack challenges. From somewhere else in the house, a woman calls out, "If that's one of your lowlife pals, tell him ya ain't goin' out tonight!" Jack tells her to shut up. He asks what Doug wants. "Nothing," Doug replies after a minute. As he lopes back down the porch, he can hear Jack's wife screaming at him some more. Doug smiles broadly to himself as he kickstarts his motorcycle.
Doug, back in nerd attire, asks the Grant High Computer Club kids for help writing a program. The nameless bully comes up to them. He calls Doug a pimple (what the hell kind of insult is that?) and knocks his books out of his hands. Doug grabs the bully's fingers in a death grip and calmly tells him to be nicer: "One day, you're gonna shrink, you're gonna lose all your hair, and you might even wind up married to a cow."
Doug lets go and of course the bully leaves. One of the nerds hands Doug his books. The nerds invite him to join computer club and say they run the school. End of episode.
Case #3.10: "What About Love?"
Doug has been rescued from the loony bin since our last recap. He's currently disassembling his motorcycle's transmission on his kitchen counter. Dorothy comes in, dressed in a robe and nightgown, reminding him to take the trash out on his way to work. She stops in her tracks when she sees what he's doing. "The garage is still flooded from the storm," Doug explains, "Besides, the light's better." "Where are we supposed to eat?" Dorothy demands. Doug sounds puzzled as he replies, "We already ate." "Breakfast, Doug!" she shouts, "Where are we supposed to eat breakfast?"
Doug moves some parts, leaving about a six-inch wide space on the counter. Dorothy is irritated with Doug and the motorcycle is just the tip of the iceberg. There's the drinking milk out of the carton and him wiping his mouth on the tablecloth. "Don't you care about anything that matters to me?" Dorothy asks. Doug asks her the same thing. "Everything I do, you always pick, pick, pick!" he says through gritted teeth, "Don't put wet towels on the bed. Don't clip your toenails on the couch. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than just pick?!"
I think Peter DeLuise is doing the Method acting thing here; during a portion of the series' run, he actually was married to Gina Nemo, who plays Dorothy.
Dorothy scowls: "You...are...leaving!" She shoves some tools and parts off the counter. Doug sits for a moment in stunned silence. Finally, he calls after her, "This is my house!"
Doug walks down the snowy street carrying a duffel bag and a big suitcase. He knocks on Tom's door. For reasons unknown, Tom answers with a wooden duck in hand. Doug announces, "Dorothy threw me out." "That's terrible," says Tom, though he doesn't look or sound surprised about it. Doug needs somewhere to stay. "You need a place for the night, you got it," Tom invites. "Actually," Doug chuckles nervously, "I need a place to live." Tom blinks and stays quiet. "You don't think our friendship could survive us livin' together?" Doug asks. Tom replies, "Do you?"
Doug walks back down the street. He buzzes Booker's apartment. Booker answers the door shirtless and disheveled. A girl comes out and caresses his bare chest. Doug turns around, walks downstairs, and heads back to the street with his luggage.
Montage time! At Blowfish's house, the toddler throws spaghetti at Doug and one of the older boys shoots him in the crotch with a suction cup arrow. He knocks on another door and works up his best sad puppy-dog face. "Dorothy?" Harry guesses. Doug nods pathetically. Harry motions him in and picks a piece of spaghetti off the bill of Doug's trucker cap.
At home, Judy's in her nightgown and her shirtless gentleman caller Marcus teases that he didn't know she was so good at making cereal. Judy jokes that raisin rounds are her specialty. That means Marcus has to impress her with dinner. "I'm already impressed," Judy flirts.
Marcus hugs Judy and starts kissing her neck. Judy tells Marcus he'll be late for work if he doesn't go home and change soon. "I could borrow something," Marcus suggests, "How 'bout your green sweater dress?" Judy giggles that he looks good in green. She tells Marcus that she's never been this happy. Marcus hasn't either. He kisses her neck more and they fall out of sight.
In the Chapel, Marcus sits at a desk near Judy's punching numbers into a calculator. He must be a city auditor because Tom mentions that he's gone through all the division's expense accounts and even their vacation schedules. Judy defends Marcus, who's auditing other departments too. She asks Doug if Dorothy is trying to make up yet. Doug has a interesting perspective on their relationship: "Deep down, all women hate men. It's that envy thing. Men got what women can't have, so they resent our, uh..." "Plumbing," Blowfish finishes. Tom quips that's a very Freudian remark.
Doug thinks it'll be great living with Harry "just two men having fun and none of that plumbing envy stuff." He and Harry wag their thumbs at each other. Blowfish teases that they make a cute couple.
Cap'n Rufus asks Judy if she's getting anywhere on the lover's lane flasher case. She's still interviewing witnesses. "Take Inspector Rainey along with you," Rufus says, gesturing to Marcus. Councilman Davis wants Marcus to go out in the field and see how Jump Street operates. Rufus knows everyone resents Marcus and "the sooner we get him off our backs, the better."
On a high school's ground, Marcus asks if Cap'n Rufus knows about their relationship. Judy replies, "Well, we certainly wouldn't be here if he did." She doesn't like keeping secrets from Fuller. Marcus says they can take Rufus for drinks after he finishes his Jump Street audit.
In the school, they interview Ned, a boy in a striped sweater. Ned gripes that the flasher ruined his good time; it took him 6 months to convince his girlfriend Emma to go to Lover's Lane. Judy asks for a description of the flasher. Ned laughs and purposely misinterprets the question, "What do you think it looked like?"
Judy and Marcus cobble together a description of the flasher as they talk to the kids: white guy, about 6 feet, long brown hair. "Boy, that narrows it down," Marcus says. No kidding and there's somebody at Jump Street fitting that description.
Outside the school, Judy and Marcus happen to see a pair of guys steal a teacher's purse. Judy chases them. She yanks one kid off the chainlink fence he was trying to climb and Marcus grabs the other. The second guy pulls a knife on him. Judy draws her gun and orders, "Drop it." Marcus grabs the kid and manages to disarm him.
At Judy's house, she and Marcus drink wine and roast hot dogs in front of the fireplace. "You almost got me in trouble today," Judy says. She told Marcus to stay put after the purse snatching. Marcus is sorry but he didn't want the kid to get away. He's never seen anything as beautiful as Judy tearing after the kids in her cowboy boots.
Harry's practicing with his nunchuks in his apartment's kitchen because poor Harry is a walking Asian cliche. Doug comes in with a grocery bag, calling, "Hi, honey, I'm home!" Then in a horrible Asian accent, he adds, "You have offended my famiry." Doug unpacks a sixer of beer and a carton of milk. He promises that living with him will be easy because his stuff won't take up much room; he's only got "like 6 shirts and 3 pairs of blue jeans."
Doug starts to drink milk out of the carton, but grabs a glass instead. He tells Harry that girls would love his kitchen and all the nice appliances. Doug accidentally knocks over the open milk carton and promises to clean up the mess.
Cap'n Rufus assigns Doug and Harry to the Simmons Drive flasher full-time. Doug isn't sure about this: "You want us to hang out at a lover's lane lookin' for a pervert?" Rufus nods. Judy comes in for work. Doug tells her to watch out because Rufus is in a mood. She thinks he'll relax after the audit is over. The phone rings and Harry answers, then tells Marcus that his wife is calling. At this, Judy gives Marcus some wicked side-eye. Marcus freezes, knowing he's been caught.
Judy runs out of the Chapel and down the stairs. Marcus follows, calling after her. She gets in her car. Marcus tries to explain himself through the open window, offering the usual excuse that he doesn't love his wife anymore. "And you're gonna ask her for a divorce any day now and I have to be patient," Judy guesses. Marcus says that he never said those things. "You didn't have to," Judy says, starting her car and driving away. She stops down the street, parks, and starts crying.
In a diner, Jackie announces she wants to go on a romantic getaway with Tom and has a stack of brochures for him to look through: Aspen, Maui, Costa Rica. Tom suggests they go that weekend since they're both sick of just talking about a vacation. Jackie says no because she has plans to go to a party with people from work. Tom hates her work parties; he always ends up stuck talking to Councilman Davis.
Marcus confronts Judy in the Chapel locker room about not returning his calls. I think she has every right to be pissed. She starts to leave and he grabs her arm. Judy tells him not to touch her. He repeats that he and his wife aren't happy in their marriage. He tries to sweet-talk Judy. Judy doesn't want to see him anymore.
Later, Blowfish brings a dozen red roses to Judy's desk. Marcus is at his desk and watches her read the card. Judy tosses the bouquet in the trash and leaves the squadroom. Good for her!
When Harry gets home, he has trouble getting in the apartment due to the pile of laundry against the door. Doug is singing opera rather horribly in the living room. There's a bag of trash on the counter with a note that says DUMP ME taped to it. Harry picks some clothes off the floor. Doug is sitting on the couch wearing a towel on his head like a turban, clipping his toenails. Harry rolls his eyes.
Judy's phone is ringing off the hook. She lets the machine get it. No surprise, it's Marcus. At work the next morning, Marcus stares at her from across the room. He even follows her into the ladies' room. He tells her that today is his last day auditing Jump Street. Judy reminds him they're not in a relationship anymore and that he lied to her. Marcus reminds her that she lied to Cap'n Rufus about them being together. "I didn't lie to you," she points out. Marcus grabs her again. Judy pushes him away. She yells at him to leave her alone.
Marcus follows her out of the bathroom. "I can't stand to lose you, Judy," he says and promises he'll do anything. Doug, on his way from the men's room, watches Marcus curiously. He doesn't say anything to him.
Judy is outside again sitting on the steps. Doug asks if Marcus is bothering her. She tells him that she and Marcus had been dating. "Sure, you and that yo-yo, right," snickers Doug. She explains that Marcus is angry with her for breaking things off.
"You had a romp with the guy auditing the program?" asks Doug, sitting next to her. Judy insists, "It wasn't a romp!" Doug asks how she could be so stupid; Marcus could affect everyone's jobs. He advises Judy not to sleep with coworkers. Judy is incredulous: "Oh, that's rich coming from you!" referring, of course, to their almost-one night stand last season. Doug argues that was different.
In Jackie's office, Tom tells her about Judy and Marcus sleeping together. Jackie thinks that if a woman wants to get involved with a coworker, she should be prepared for the consequences. Tom is confused that she isn't on Judy's side. I am too, given that Marcus lied about being married; the coworker part should take a backseat.
Cap'n Rufus tells Judy about the report from the auditor, which says Jump Street "has a cavalier attitude toward police procedure." Marcus wrote that she pursued an armed suspect while with an unarmed civilian. Judy admits to running after the purse snatcher and not calling for backup. Marcus has also accused Judy of doing incomplete and sloppy interviews. She tells Rufus, "It's a misunderstanding. I can clear it up."
Judy goes to Marcus's office and asks him to refile the reports "the way it really happened." "File the reports the way it really happened," he repeats. Judy slaps him across the face. Marcus says they can't pretend that their feelings for each other disappeared. "We've said all we have to say to each other. You're burning me," Judy says. Marcus insists that Judy is burning him.
At the dinner party, Tom predictably is roped into talking to Councilman Davis. Everyone is drinking champagne and a band is playing classical music. Jackie's friend Rachel tells her, "There's no point in sleeping your way down the ladder." And I didn't think Jackie's friends could be any bitchier than Jackie herself is.
On Lover's Lane, kids are kissing on motorcycles and in cars. Someone in silver sequined high heels is walking unsteadily around. It's Harry, also wearing a blond wig, makeup, and a short, tight black skirt. He gets in a car with Doug and asks why he's the one in drag. "'Cause the skirt fit you," says Doug. Harry rubs his feet, griping that this plan better work. Doug checks his watch, which is actually borrowed from Harry. "I figured it'd clash with your outfit," he quips.
Harry remarks that Doug borrows a lot of stuff. Doug promises his roommate that he'll stop if it bothers him. Harry inquires if Doug took the trash out. "I was supposed to do that?" says Doug. He thinks Harry's apartment looks like "it's still waiting for the original owners to move in." Harry tells Doug that he's inconsiderate. Doug returns the watch.
Doug sees a man in a trenchcoat peeking in the windows of a car. "Thank you, God!" he cheers, eager to solve the case. "You said it," Harry agrees. Doug tells the man to stop; he doesn't. "Come on, don't run!" Doug growls as he chases Trenchcoat. Harry catches up to Trenchcoat and tackles him.
Doug pulls the coat open and says, "Hey! You're not naked!" "Disappointed?" asks the man, who explains that he's there looking for his daughter; he demands, "What are you perverts doing here?" Doug tells him about the flasher. Trenchcoat punches Harry in the face; he falls backwards into Doug's arms. "Pervert," mutters Trenchcoat.
Judy explains to Cap'n Rufus about going out with Marcus. "If I tell Councilman Davis one of his boys is sexually harassing one of my officers, he's gonna want proof," Rufus says. Judy is upset with herself because she feels like she let this happen. Rufus says Marcus has no right to go after her professionally. Judy just wants him to stop. Rufus tells her there's no easy option; it's her word against his.
In Marcus's office, Judy asks why he's harassing her. Marcus promises to get out of her life forever if she says she doesn't love him. Judy can't because a part of her still does. "Then I can't let you go," says Marcus. Judy says, "You lied to me and now you're jeopardizing my career."
Marcus never meant to hurt her. Yeah right. He only wrote the reports to make her listen and will change them if he gets another chance. Judy needs to think about it. They kiss briefly on the lips. Back home, Judy takes the wire out from under her shirt and the tape recorder out of her purse.
On Lover's Lane, Harry is back in drag and giving Doug the silent treatment. Doug apologizes for yelling at him the night before. He appreciates Harry giving him a place to live and doesn't know what he would've done if Harry hadn't been there. Trying to lighten the mood, he taps his cheek and says, "Gimme a little kiss." Harry refuses but forgives Doug.
Doug gets out of the car to go pee in the bushes. A guy in a trenchcoat comes up to the car and flashes them. "So whaddaya think?" he asks. Doug says, "Impressive", shows the pervert his badge, and asks, "What do you think?"
Judy and Marcus meet near an empty swimming pool. He asks if she's had time to think. Judy tells him she was wearing a wire and will file a sexual harassment complaint if he doesn't change the report. Marcus says, "I'm not gonna slink away with my tail between my legs just because you have a tape."
Judy gives Jackie the tape. Jackie warns her that a trial could get ugly, but lets her know that it isn't her fault. There may be a way to resolve this without the courts, however. The two women go to Councilman Davis's office, where he just happens to be talking to Marcus. Cap'n Rufus is there too. Jackie says she's giving Davis a chance to handle the matter in-house, but they'll take it to trial if they have to.
Davis says Marcus is a longtime employee with a spotless record. Jackie takes the tape out of her briefcase and plays it. Marcus shuts it off midway through and admits to doctoring the reports. Outside in the hallway, Judy cries on Cap'n Rufus's shoulder.
What's probably meant to be months later, Judy bumps into Marcus outside a store. He tells her that he works for a different city department now and is recently divorced. She walks away. End of episode.
Doug moves some parts, leaving about a six-inch wide space on the counter. Dorothy is irritated with Doug and the motorcycle is just the tip of the iceberg. There's the drinking milk out of the carton and him wiping his mouth on the tablecloth. "Don't you care about anything that matters to me?" Dorothy asks. Doug asks her the same thing. "Everything I do, you always pick, pick, pick!" he says through gritted teeth, "Don't put wet towels on the bed. Don't clip your toenails on the couch. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than just pick?!"
I think Peter DeLuise is doing the Method acting thing here; during a portion of the series' run, he actually was married to Gina Nemo, who plays Dorothy.
Dorothy scowls: "You...are...leaving!" She shoves some tools and parts off the counter. Doug sits for a moment in stunned silence. Finally, he calls after her, "This is my house!"
Doug walks down the snowy street carrying a duffel bag and a big suitcase. He knocks on Tom's door. For reasons unknown, Tom answers with a wooden duck in hand. Doug announces, "Dorothy threw me out." "That's terrible," says Tom, though he doesn't look or sound surprised about it. Doug needs somewhere to stay. "You need a place for the night, you got it," Tom invites. "Actually," Doug chuckles nervously, "I need a place to live." Tom blinks and stays quiet. "You don't think our friendship could survive us livin' together?" Doug asks. Tom replies, "Do you?"
Doug walks back down the street. He buzzes Booker's apartment. Booker answers the door shirtless and disheveled. A girl comes out and caresses his bare chest. Doug turns around, walks downstairs, and heads back to the street with his luggage.
Montage time! At Blowfish's house, the toddler throws spaghetti at Doug and one of the older boys shoots him in the crotch with a suction cup arrow. He knocks on another door and works up his best sad puppy-dog face. "Dorothy?" Harry guesses. Doug nods pathetically. Harry motions him in and picks a piece of spaghetti off the bill of Doug's trucker cap.
At home, Judy's in her nightgown and her shirtless gentleman caller Marcus teases that he didn't know she was so good at making cereal. Judy jokes that raisin rounds are her specialty. That means Marcus has to impress her with dinner. "I'm already impressed," Judy flirts.
Marcus hugs Judy and starts kissing her neck. Judy tells Marcus he'll be late for work if he doesn't go home and change soon. "I could borrow something," Marcus suggests, "How 'bout your green sweater dress?" Judy giggles that he looks good in green. She tells Marcus that she's never been this happy. Marcus hasn't either. He kisses her neck more and they fall out of sight.
In the Chapel, Marcus sits at a desk near Judy's punching numbers into a calculator. He must be a city auditor because Tom mentions that he's gone through all the division's expense accounts and even their vacation schedules. Judy defends Marcus, who's auditing other departments too. She asks Doug if Dorothy is trying to make up yet. Doug has a interesting perspective on their relationship: "Deep down, all women hate men. It's that envy thing. Men got what women can't have, so they resent our, uh..." "Plumbing," Blowfish finishes. Tom quips that's a very Freudian remark.
Doug thinks it'll be great living with Harry "just two men having fun and none of that plumbing envy stuff." He and Harry wag their thumbs at each other. Blowfish teases that they make a cute couple.
Cap'n Rufus asks Judy if she's getting anywhere on the lover's lane flasher case. She's still interviewing witnesses. "Take Inspector Rainey along with you," Rufus says, gesturing to Marcus. Councilman Davis wants Marcus to go out in the field and see how Jump Street operates. Rufus knows everyone resents Marcus and "the sooner we get him off our backs, the better."
On a high school's ground, Marcus asks if Cap'n Rufus knows about their relationship. Judy replies, "Well, we certainly wouldn't be here if he did." She doesn't like keeping secrets from Fuller. Marcus says they can take Rufus for drinks after he finishes his Jump Street audit.
In the school, they interview Ned, a boy in a striped sweater. Ned gripes that the flasher ruined his good time; it took him 6 months to convince his girlfriend Emma to go to Lover's Lane. Judy asks for a description of the flasher. Ned laughs and purposely misinterprets the question, "What do you think it looked like?"
Judy and Marcus cobble together a description of the flasher as they talk to the kids: white guy, about 6 feet, long brown hair. "Boy, that narrows it down," Marcus says. No kidding and there's somebody at Jump Street fitting that description.
Outside the school, Judy and Marcus happen to see a pair of guys steal a teacher's purse. Judy chases them. She yanks one kid off the chainlink fence he was trying to climb and Marcus grabs the other. The second guy pulls a knife on him. Judy draws her gun and orders, "Drop it." Marcus grabs the kid and manages to disarm him.
At Judy's house, she and Marcus drink wine and roast hot dogs in front of the fireplace. "You almost got me in trouble today," Judy says. She told Marcus to stay put after the purse snatching. Marcus is sorry but he didn't want the kid to get away. He's never seen anything as beautiful as Judy tearing after the kids in her cowboy boots.
Harry's practicing with his nunchuks in his apartment's kitchen because poor Harry is a walking Asian cliche. Doug comes in with a grocery bag, calling, "Hi, honey, I'm home!" Then in a horrible Asian accent, he adds, "You have offended my famiry." Doug unpacks a sixer of beer and a carton of milk. He promises that living with him will be easy because his stuff won't take up much room; he's only got "like 6 shirts and 3 pairs of blue jeans."
Doug starts to drink milk out of the carton, but grabs a glass instead. He tells Harry that girls would love his kitchen and all the nice appliances. Doug accidentally knocks over the open milk carton and promises to clean up the mess.
Cap'n Rufus assigns Doug and Harry to the Simmons Drive flasher full-time. Doug isn't sure about this: "You want us to hang out at a lover's lane lookin' for a pervert?" Rufus nods. Judy comes in for work. Doug tells her to watch out because Rufus is in a mood. She thinks he'll relax after the audit is over. The phone rings and Harry answers, then tells Marcus that his wife is calling. At this, Judy gives Marcus some wicked side-eye. Marcus freezes, knowing he's been caught.
Judy runs out of the Chapel and down the stairs. Marcus follows, calling after her. She gets in her car. Marcus tries to explain himself through the open window, offering the usual excuse that he doesn't love his wife anymore. "And you're gonna ask her for a divorce any day now and I have to be patient," Judy guesses. Marcus says that he never said those things. "You didn't have to," Judy says, starting her car and driving away. She stops down the street, parks, and starts crying.
In a diner, Jackie announces she wants to go on a romantic getaway with Tom and has a stack of brochures for him to look through: Aspen, Maui, Costa Rica. Tom suggests they go that weekend since they're both sick of just talking about a vacation. Jackie says no because she has plans to go to a party with people from work. Tom hates her work parties; he always ends up stuck talking to Councilman Davis.
Marcus confronts Judy in the Chapel locker room about not returning his calls. I think she has every right to be pissed. She starts to leave and he grabs her arm. Judy tells him not to touch her. He repeats that he and his wife aren't happy in their marriage. He tries to sweet-talk Judy. Judy doesn't want to see him anymore.
Later, Blowfish brings a dozen red roses to Judy's desk. Marcus is at his desk and watches her read the card. Judy tosses the bouquet in the trash and leaves the squadroom. Good for her!
When Harry gets home, he has trouble getting in the apartment due to the pile of laundry against the door. Doug is singing opera rather horribly in the living room. There's a bag of trash on the counter with a note that says DUMP ME taped to it. Harry picks some clothes off the floor. Doug is sitting on the couch wearing a towel on his head like a turban, clipping his toenails. Harry rolls his eyes.
Judy's phone is ringing off the hook. She lets the machine get it. No surprise, it's Marcus. At work the next morning, Marcus stares at her from across the room. He even follows her into the ladies' room. He tells her that today is his last day auditing Jump Street. Judy reminds him they're not in a relationship anymore and that he lied to her. Marcus reminds her that she lied to Cap'n Rufus about them being together. "I didn't lie to you," she points out. Marcus grabs her again. Judy pushes him away. She yells at him to leave her alone.
Marcus follows her out of the bathroom. "I can't stand to lose you, Judy," he says and promises he'll do anything. Doug, on his way from the men's room, watches Marcus curiously. He doesn't say anything to him.
Judy is outside again sitting on the steps. Doug asks if Marcus is bothering her. She tells him that she and Marcus had been dating. "Sure, you and that yo-yo, right," snickers Doug. She explains that Marcus is angry with her for breaking things off.
"You had a romp with the guy auditing the program?" asks Doug, sitting next to her. Judy insists, "It wasn't a romp!" Doug asks how she could be so stupid; Marcus could affect everyone's jobs. He advises Judy not to sleep with coworkers. Judy is incredulous: "Oh, that's rich coming from you!" referring, of course, to their almost-one night stand last season. Doug argues that was different.
In Jackie's office, Tom tells her about Judy and Marcus sleeping together. Jackie thinks that if a woman wants to get involved with a coworker, she should be prepared for the consequences. Tom is confused that she isn't on Judy's side. I am too, given that Marcus lied about being married; the coworker part should take a backseat.
Cap'n Rufus tells Judy about the report from the auditor, which says Jump Street "has a cavalier attitude toward police procedure." Marcus wrote that she pursued an armed suspect while with an unarmed civilian. Judy admits to running after the purse snatcher and not calling for backup. Marcus has also accused Judy of doing incomplete and sloppy interviews. She tells Rufus, "It's a misunderstanding. I can clear it up."
Judy goes to Marcus's office and asks him to refile the reports "the way it really happened." "File the reports the way it really happened," he repeats. Judy slaps him across the face. Marcus says they can't pretend that their feelings for each other disappeared. "We've said all we have to say to each other. You're burning me," Judy says. Marcus insists that Judy is burning him.
At the dinner party, Tom predictably is roped into talking to Councilman Davis. Everyone is drinking champagne and a band is playing classical music. Jackie's friend Rachel tells her, "There's no point in sleeping your way down the ladder." And I didn't think Jackie's friends could be any bitchier than Jackie herself is.
On Lover's Lane, kids are kissing on motorcycles and in cars. Someone in silver sequined high heels is walking unsteadily around. It's Harry, also wearing a blond wig, makeup, and a short, tight black skirt. He gets in a car with Doug and asks why he's the one in drag. "'Cause the skirt fit you," says Doug. Harry rubs his feet, griping that this plan better work. Doug checks his watch, which is actually borrowed from Harry. "I figured it'd clash with your outfit," he quips.
Harry remarks that Doug borrows a lot of stuff. Doug promises his roommate that he'll stop if it bothers him. Harry inquires if Doug took the trash out. "I was supposed to do that?" says Doug. He thinks Harry's apartment looks like "it's still waiting for the original owners to move in." Harry tells Doug that he's inconsiderate. Doug returns the watch.
Doug sees a man in a trenchcoat peeking in the windows of a car. "Thank you, God!" he cheers, eager to solve the case. "You said it," Harry agrees. Doug tells the man to stop; he doesn't. "Come on, don't run!" Doug growls as he chases Trenchcoat. Harry catches up to Trenchcoat and tackles him.
Doug pulls the coat open and says, "Hey! You're not naked!" "Disappointed?" asks the man, who explains that he's there looking for his daughter; he demands, "What are you perverts doing here?" Doug tells him about the flasher. Trenchcoat punches Harry in the face; he falls backwards into Doug's arms. "Pervert," mutters Trenchcoat.
Judy explains to Cap'n Rufus about going out with Marcus. "If I tell Councilman Davis one of his boys is sexually harassing one of my officers, he's gonna want proof," Rufus says. Judy is upset with herself because she feels like she let this happen. Rufus says Marcus has no right to go after her professionally. Judy just wants him to stop. Rufus tells her there's no easy option; it's her word against his.
In Marcus's office, Judy asks why he's harassing her. Marcus promises to get out of her life forever if she says she doesn't love him. Judy can't because a part of her still does. "Then I can't let you go," says Marcus. Judy says, "You lied to me and now you're jeopardizing my career."
Marcus never meant to hurt her. Yeah right. He only wrote the reports to make her listen and will change them if he gets another chance. Judy needs to think about it. They kiss briefly on the lips. Back home, Judy takes the wire out from under her shirt and the tape recorder out of her purse.
On Lover's Lane, Harry is back in drag and giving Doug the silent treatment. Doug apologizes for yelling at him the night before. He appreciates Harry giving him a place to live and doesn't know what he would've done if Harry hadn't been there. Trying to lighten the mood, he taps his cheek and says, "Gimme a little kiss." Harry refuses but forgives Doug.
Doug gets out of the car to go pee in the bushes. A guy in a trenchcoat comes up to the car and flashes them. "So whaddaya think?" he asks. Doug says, "Impressive", shows the pervert his badge, and asks, "What do you think?"
Judy and Marcus meet near an empty swimming pool. He asks if she's had time to think. Judy tells him she was wearing a wire and will file a sexual harassment complaint if he doesn't change the report. Marcus says, "I'm not gonna slink away with my tail between my legs just because you have a tape."
Judy gives Jackie the tape. Jackie warns her that a trial could get ugly, but lets her know that it isn't her fault. There may be a way to resolve this without the courts, however. The two women go to Councilman Davis's office, where he just happens to be talking to Marcus. Cap'n Rufus is there too. Jackie says she's giving Davis a chance to handle the matter in-house, but they'll take it to trial if they have to.
Davis says Marcus is a longtime employee with a spotless record. Jackie takes the tape out of her briefcase and plays it. Marcus shuts it off midway through and admits to doctoring the reports. Outside in the hallway, Judy cries on Cap'n Rufus's shoulder.
What's probably meant to be months later, Judy bumps into Marcus outside a store. He tells her that he works for a different city department now and is recently divorced. She walks away. End of episode.
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