On a sleazy downtown street, Judy is working undercover as a prostitute. A john offers her $50 for sex. Judy tells him to meet her in an alley. Mac tries to head the guy off, but the john knocks him down. There's a brief foot chase during which the guy almost gets hit by a semi. Mac arrests the john. Theme song.
Judy is still wearing her hooker garb as she stands in her boyfriend's bedroom. He comes in with a breakfast tray, but Judy seems more interested in sucking on his face. Judy puts on her coat just as a voice squeaks, "I'm late for school." It's her boyfriend's daughter Christa. The boyfriend tells Christa the school bus won't be here for another couple of hours. Run along downstairs, kid, and Daddy will make breakfast. Judy regrets not leaving before Christa got up.
Downstairs, Christa has spilled her milk. Judy's boyfriend says she has to use plastic cups from now on. But Mommy lets her use real glasses. Daddy doesn't care; his house, his rules. He arranges a lunch date with Judy. Christa chirps that Mommy left a message on the answering machine. Daddy reminds Christa that she's not supposed to talk about her mom in front of Judy. It could ruin the future he's planning with Judy. He even takes it a step further: "Mommy doesn't exist, especially not in front of Judy." I bet he's still married to Mommy...
Mac and Judy arrive at the Chapel. Cap'n Rufus informs them that the D.A. threw out the case of the john from yesterday. Judy can't believe it. The john is claiming entrapment. Rufus hopes they were both wired so they can clear this up, but Judy couldn't have worn a wire with her sexy lingerie. Judy thinks the john running is proof enough of his guilt. Judy's boyfriend Josh arrives with roses to take her to lunch. He asks if she can drive; his car was towed. Josh shrugs that he must've parked in a red zone. "Must have," says Cap'n Rufus, giving him the stink eye.
Judy wants a word in the captain's office. She asks why Rufus doesn't like Josh. Rufus thinks he comes up with too many stories. Last week, he wanted to use Judy's mailing address. Judy argues that he's trying to start a business. Cap'n Rufus asks if Judy's ever heard of sweetheart swindlers. We call those catfish nowadays. Judy says she's too smart to fall for that. Rufus hopes she's right.
Judy and Josh go to a very nice restaurant. He wonders why Cap'n Rufus doesn't like him. Judy says Rufus is just protective. All that matters is she likes him. Josh says there are other considerations for their future, like his daughter. He's only been divorced for 6 months and claims he can't remember anything before he met Judy. Judy points out that they've only been seeing each other 2 months.
Judy suggests that they invite Cap'n Rufus to dinner so he can get to know Josh. The waitress comes to let Josh know that his credit card was declined. She called the credit card company and was told to destroy the card. Judy gives the waitress her card. Josh explains that his ex-business partner likes to cancel his credit cards at random. He hired a lawyer, but this kind of crime is hard to prove.
Judy says she can deal with anything except lies. Josh insists he's not lying. They leave the restaurant. Judy's bouquet is still lying on the table.
Back at the Chapel, Judy is served with a subpoena. Robert the john has filed a civil suit against her for entrapment. Judy can't afford a private attorney to fight the charges. She won't get any help from the police union because it's not a criminal case.
At Josh's, he can't believe Judy has to pay for her own defense plus court costs. Josh starts giving her a leg massage to loosen her up. They kiss. Christa is asleep, so Judy suggests taking the party to the bedroom. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. It turns out to be a police officer; Josh is being arrested for kidnapping.
Another officer carries Christa out of the bedroom. Judy tells Josh not to resist arrest. He tells Judy where to find his lawyer's phone number. He also needs bail money.
When Judy picks Josh up from jail, his ex-wife Yvonne is there with Christa in tow. Yvonne says she's heard a lot about Judy from her daughter. Josh wants to talk to Judy tomorrow. Judy will think about it; she wants a check to repay her for bail. Yvonne promises Christa she'll see her dad on his nights. Josh argues that it was his night.
Outside, Josh says Yvonne asked him to watch Christa that night. Judy tells Josh she can't handle the stories anymore. He insists Yvonne is setting him up; it's been a bitter custody battle. Yvonne is also the person who's been canceling his credit cards. He was just trying to protect her from his crazy ex. Judy repeats that she wants a check for bail.
In a conference room, Judy is getting ready to sit down with her lawyer, Robert, and his lawyer. Cap'n Rufus got Judy's lawyer to work pro bono. Judy can't believe Robert's suing her for $250,000. Her lawyer explains there's no limit for punitive damages. Robert is a wedding photographer and has been dropped by several clients since the arrest.
Judy is worried; she'd have to sell her house to make that payout. Her lawyer describes Robert's lawyer as "the best trial attorney I ever lost to": Yvonne. As in Josh's ex. Yvonne enters with her client and says she has a few questions for Judy.
Later, Judy asks if it's a conflict of interest for Yvonne to be representing Robert given her history with Yvonne's ex-husband. "If you wanna get rid of the conflict, you quit dating the man," says Cap'n Rufus. Judy doesn't want to do that. Enter Judy's lawyer, telling her how unprofessional it looks for her to walk out of a deposition. He's not pleased to learn that Judy is dating Yvonne's ex; he didn't want a guaranteed loser of a case. Cap'n Rufus sends Judy back to her deposition. Alan the lawyer says they need to find a witness to Robert's arrest. They already have one: Mac.
Mac goes downtown and pumps a watch thief for information. Mac remembers seeing a teen prostitute when Judy made the bust, "a country club type". He needs to know how to find her. Her name is Blair and she's a private school student who takes the bus into the city to turn tricks. I'm sure that extracurricular would look great on an Ivy League application. The watch thief thinks Mac is good-looking enough that Blair would approach him.
In Josh's living room, he and Judy have finished putting up a pup tent. Judy asks if he's sure he doesn't want a Club Med vacation instead. Josh is concerned about Judy's upcoming hearing. Christa pipes up that Mommy said she's working with Judy. Judy tells the little girl it's not a good idea to talk about it. To change the subject, she brightly suggests going out for hot chocolate and dessert.
While Judy helps the little girl into her coat, Christa says Mommy was gonna give Judy wishes. Judy isn't sure what that means. "Um, one was you will wish you never knew Daddy," the kid says shyly. Josh, oblivious, asks if his favorite girls are ready to go.
At the hearing, the judge is none other than Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files. Yvonne points out that Judy hadn't made a bust in 5 weeks and was below the department's quota, implying that she wrongly accused Robert of solicitation to get her numbers up. Judy tells her that she doesn't have quotas. Robert approached her first and Judy didn't mention a specific sex act.
Yvonne dredges up the time Judy dated a married man who she then successfully sued for sexual harassment. Judy didn't even know Marcus was married. Judy's lawyer Alan objects; this has nothing to do with the current case. Yvonne also asks about the time Judy was raped. She brings this all up to prove Judy is biased against men and used her undercover role as prostitute to her advantage. Judy sasses, "You're just messing with me 'cause I'm seein' your man. Tell the judge."
Judge Smokey threatens to have Yvonne disbarred if he finds out she's prosecuting Judy for malicious prosecution. However, he does believe there's sufficient evidence to go to trial. Yvonne barely conceals her triumphant smirk.
At the Chapel, Judy frantically searches for her keys. Josh is supposedly at a business meeting; if she's 5 minutes late picking up Christa, it'll go in the custody papers. She tells Cap'n Rufus about Yvonne airing her rape and sexual harassment suit. Alan called Rufus about what happened in court and told him Judy is impossible to represent. He wants to see her the next morning. Judy leaves.
Mac tells Cap'n Rufus he's going to look for Blair. This time, he'll actually wear a wire like he was supposed to in the first place. Mac greets Blair when she gets off the bus and asks if she wants to party. Blair immediately makes him as a cop. Mac offers to make her more recent solicitation charge disappear if she agrees to testify about Judy and Robert. Blair doesn't think so.
"Well, then maybe I'll tell your parents where you're spending your school nights," Mac says evenly. Blair doubts he'd catch them at home; they're always in the Hamptons. She adds that her parents are the annual hosts of the policeman's ball.
When Judy arrives at Christa's kindergarten, Yvonne is already there. Judy is confused; she thought it was Josh's night. Yvonne hopes she wasn't too hard on Judy in court. What a joke. Judy sends Blair to the water fountain. She requests that Yvonne not use her daughter against her. As Dr. Phil always says, "Children should not be involved in adult issues."
Yvonne is very bitter. She was pregnant with Christa when Josh started his first business. As soon as it got profitable, he sold the company and divorced her. Yvonne is determined to keep him from getting custody of their daughter. When they were married, Josh always had a woman on the side. Josh can be convincing about his lies.
Josh's car wasn't towed recently; it was repossessed. Yvonne is sure Judy is driving him around until he gets it out of impound. She asks why Josh said he couldn't pick Christa up. She guesses it was an unexpected important business meeting.
Judy brings Christa home. Josh is getting ready to make dinner for three with a wok. Christa goes upstairs to take a bath. Judy asks where Josh's meeting was. He claims it was on the west side of town and that he made enough money to start a college fund for Christa.
"Enough to get your car out of hock?" asks Judy. She lets him know that Yvonne told her everything. Josh lies that Yvonne stops payments on his checks to the finance company. Judy confronts him about his mistresses. Josh swears he never cheated.
Judy feels like he's playing games, which he totally is. Josh starts in with the "oh, baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" garbage. Everyone is wrong about him. Judy walks out while Josh runs Christa's bath.
In their meeting, Alan tells Judy not to have another outburst. He suggests she break it off with Josh until the case is over. Rumor has it Yvonne dumped him for his career and keeps using Christa as ammunition against him. Judy wouldn't be the first relationship she's ruined.
At the Chapel, Cap'n Rufus and Mac play darts. Judy is talking to her real estate agent. Even though she bought her house just last year, it's not worth anywhere close to $250,000. Judy gets hostile enough that the realtor hangs up. Cap'n Rufus quietly reminds Mac that Judy's house is literally riding on Blair's testimony. The girl better show up.
Mac takes Blair out for hot dogs. He tells her about Judy, not much older than Blair but without the rich parents. She worked hard to buy her little house and could lose it if Blair refuses to testify.
Yvonne asks if it's true Judy suggested a specific sex act to Robert. Alan objects to how Yvonne is phrasing her questions. "No more wordplay," Judge Smokey tells her. Judy denies approaching Robert first. Yvonne claims Judy had personal and professional reasons to entrap Robert. Alan requests a recess and is shot down by Judge Smokey.
Enter Mac and Blair. The teen is still in her hooker garb. Alan's request to confer with his material witness is granted. He asks to put her on the stand. Yvonne wants to talk to Judge Smokey in chambers first.
That night, Judy sits at her desk looking over the real estate section of the newspaper. Josh comes in and congratulates her on winning the case. He got them theater tickets to celebrate. Then they can go back to his house. Judy doesn't think that's a good idea; Yvonne will twist their relationship during custody hearings. She wants to do what's best for Christa.
Josh argues that Judy is good for both of them. They're letting Yvonne win if they break up. Judy asks who he'll blame if he loses Christa. Josh thinks they can pick things up after a long break from each other. Judy doesn't think so. She wishes it could have been, but doesn't sound like she means it.
The next morning, Mac comes in disheveled. Cap'n Rufus asks if he enjoyed the policeman's ball. In exchange for her testimony, Mac went as Blair's date to piss off her rich, uptight parents. He tries and fails to hide a huge hickey on his neck. Mac explains. He danced with Blair's mother and she asked if he's ever seen a little movie called The Graduate. Cougar alert! Blair's mother then gave him a hickey along with her phone number. When Mac calls, he's supposed to ask for Mrs. Robinson.
"You just be glad you gotta outta there alive," chuckles Cap'n Rufus. Mac isn't sure how to tend his wound. Judy offers up some of her concealer. End of episode.
Showing posts with label Very Special Episode. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Very Special Episode. Show all posts
Case #5.18: "Under the Influence"
From the title, this will be another chapter in the "Drugs and underage drinking are bad" book. The episode opens at a homeless encampment. One of the homeless men hears a cat's screeching meow, followed by a thud. He heads to the darkened alley to investigate. Clearly he never saw a horror movie in his more fortunate days.
Several guys in black ski masks suddenly appear and force the homeless man to the ground. A girl in a ski mask uses the tip of a knife to trace a circle around the dogpile. She watches the boys hit the homeless man with a disturbing smile on her face and chants, "666." Of course! In the era of the McMartin Preschool trial, no cop show would be complete without an episode about Satanism.
Anyway, a second homeless man with a ginger cat stumbles onto the scene. He's horrified by what is happening. The teens force up their victim's shirt and spraypaint a pentagram on his back. The second homeless man goes to the encampment for reinforcements. One of the men shouts "Hey!" and the teens disperse. Their victim, nicknamed Sports, is unconscious. A homeless man who looks suspiciously like Captain Rufus tries to go into the nearby Hope Mission for help, but the door is locked. I guess it's the captain's turn to see how the other half lives. Sports' friend is holding him in a semi-sitting position. Rufus steadies him and finds the pentagram. Theme song.
Thunder rumbles ominously as Mac and Rufus enter the Chapel. Sports is not the first homeless person to have been attacked by this gang. All the prior victims reported the gang comes out of nowhere, the members don't say a word, and then they disappear. Mac makes a spooky noise. "Is that your professional opinion, Officer McCann?" asks Cap'n Rufus, "I don't care if they dress up in black robes and run around reciting incantations. They're attacking people." He reminds Mac that the homeless population makes for perfect victims; nobody to notice they're missing, much less report it.
Mac will be going undercover at Douglas High, which runs an outreach program that provides teen volunteers for Hope Mission. Maybe the junior Satanists have a key to the shelter or they're just using their volunteer work to look for victims. Cap'n Rufus tells Mac to be subtle about his interest in devil worship. Mac has a plan: During the first assembly he has to attend, "I'll fall to my knees and proclaim I'm Satan's child." "Excellent," Cap'n Rufus whispers sarcastically.
At Douglas High, a jock named Alan presents a girl with an illustration he mounted on cardboard using a glue stick. It depicts Priscilla James, a witch who lived in Boston during the 17th century. Is he sure he doesn't mean Salem? Alan asks if he can come to that night's meeting. "I said I'd think about it," says the girl. Alan reminds her that he did a big favor by getting her the key to the mission. She agrees to give him a chance. The unnamed girl is pretty average looking and not wearing over-the-top Goth fashion. Not even black lipstick. Alan throws away the Priscilla James picture.
In English class, the teacher discusses how the themes in Paradise Lost mimic those found in the original Star Wars trilogy. You'll have to draw your own conclusions about that; I've never read the book nor seen any of the Star Wars saga. The book, according to the teacher, features the Devil trying to get "back into Heaven, just like the rest of us." Mac disagrees, "The Devil doesn't wanna get back into Heaven; he's got the whole damn world in his hands." He lays out his proof that the devil's having fun in the 1990s: drive-by shooting, babies with AIDS, crack, and "worse, fat chicks in tank tops."
Mac's classmates snicker. Mac speculates that the Devil doesn't have horns or is actually female. The unnamed Satanist girl from earlier watches him interestedly. "I don't why anyone's planning for tomorrow when they can party today," Mac concludes. A few kids clap. The bell rings. Satanist Girl follows Mac to her locker and introduces herself as Stephanie AKA Stevie. Given that my Big in my sorority was named Stevie, this girl will be known as Stephanie in this recap. She invites him to come to an abandoned warehouse on 5th Street that night. Stephanie guarantees Mac the time of his life.
Alan asks if Mac has a crush on Stephanie. Mac likes them "a little less man-eater." Who can blame him after the crazy chick? Alan thinks Stephanie is perfect and asks if Mac was invited to the meeting. Mac wants to know what goes on at them. Alan has no idea; tonight will be his first time.
At Hope Mission, Cap'n Rufus sits down to dinner with Sports' friend Paulie and the ginger cat. Creatively, its name is Cat. Alan comes in and greets his mother, who's serving food. He asks for an advance on his allowance; his mom gave it to him 2 days ago. Alan cryptically tells her he had surprise expenses. She agrees to give him $20. Alan tells his mom he'll be out late with friends.
"Not those awful people I saw you with at school?" asks Mom. Alan tells her about his new friend Tony AKA Mac. Mom wants the new friend to come over. "So you can pass judgment on him?" asks Alan. Mom won't give him $20 until Alan agrees to bring his friend over, so he caves.
At the abandoned warehouse, the meeting begins with the teens sharing the worst thing they've heard or done that week. A girl gleefully describes a case of a mother running over her own baby with a car. A boy told his father about his mother having an affair. Another girl happily chirps that she read about a girl who died in a drive-by at her own 4th birthday party. It's Mac's turn: "In the last 5 minutes, there's been a rape, a murder, and a drunk driving violation." Not sure if those are daily time-based stats or what he heard on the police scanner driving over. Stephanie wants it to be more personal. Mac changes the story so that he was the one who committed rape/murder and a DUI.
Stephanie tells him that's not funny. Nothing anyone else said at the meeting has been remotely funny, so what's the big deal? Mac assures her he wants to be at the meeting.
Moving right along, it's time for old business. Nice to know that even Satanists follow Robert's Rules of Order. Stephanie reminds the group that their last spell was interrupted. The Stanford Admissions Committee is meeting this week, so their next mission has to be soon "or else I won't get into Stanford early." Mac asks if he'll be on the call list. "Such an eager little beaver," Stephanie says creepily. Mac and Alan can't go because they haven't been initiated yet. Both boys request to be initiated that night.
Everyone has to cut their finger with a ceremonial dagger while chanting "666." The dagger blade is run through a candle flame in between members. Mac looks deeply weirded out by the whole business and I don't blame him. Mac is second to last. Instead of cutting himself, Alan opts to burn his hand on a lightbulb. Mac knocks Alan's arm away. "Hey, I decide when it's enough!" says Stephanie, kissing Alan's burnt palm.
In Cap'n Rufus' office, Mac tells him these kids are sick, not to mention stupid. He can't understand what makes people do things like that. "A cult wants to mark you, make you do something you can't take back," says Cap'n Rufus, adding more grey to his beard for his undercover work. Mac says that papercuts heal. Rufus recognizes Alan's name. His mom volunteers at Hope Mission, so she must have a key. He tells Mac to get close to Alan and Stephanie. Mac doesn't want to get that close to her.
Mac parks his Jeep in front of Alan's house. From outside, he can hear Alan's mom, Mrs. Michaels, screaming at her son. It's not too much to ask that she knows where he is and when he's coming home. Alan argues back that he's a grown-ass man. Mrs. Michaels confronts him about the burn. Alan wishes his dad had better taste in women. Mrs. Michaels slaps him.
The doorbell rings. Mrs. Michaels lets Mac in and tells him, "Alan doesn't think it's appropriate that I meet his friend." Mac wishes his parents were like that and instantly wins Mrs. Michaels' approval. She leaves. What the hell was the point of making him come over if she's not gonna stay?
Alan gripes about his mom. She got a kit from "the tough love people" that supposedly allows parents to dust their kids' things for drug residue. She even wanted him to do a drug test last month. She also went through his tape collection. Mac suggests Alan let his mom in on some things to build trust. They leave for school.
Alan shares another story about his mom. During freshman year, he had a friend named Clay. Hopefully his last name wasn't Morrow. Alan and Clay were inseparable until the day Mrs. Michaels called Clay's parents and told them Clay was a bad influence. Clay's parents told him to stop hanging out with Alan because his mom was crazy. Clay told everyone why he wasn't allowed to hang out with Alan anymore.
Alan has a reoccurring nightmare about his mother following him everywhere until she's the only person who'll have anything to do with him. "She at it again?" Stephanie has joined the conversation. She says Alan's mom doesn't love him, just wants to dominate him. Alan agrees with Stephanie. Stephanie says Alan needs to take his power back and "the group can help you if you help the group. We need a sacrifice." They'll do it tonight at the warehouse.
Mac thinks what he said in English class is a long way from getting involved in a blood sacrifice. Stephanie tells him that he'll be at the warehouse or he'll have to quit the group. She also warns, "Don't keep Alan from attaining what he wants."
Stephanie finds Alan moping by himself in the English classroom. She acknowledges that what she's asking him to do is scary. Sacrifices gets easier, she promises. Alan will have to do the sacrifice himself. She says it's no different than swatting a mosquito. Alan can have anything he wants. She kisses him.
At Hope Mission, Paulie is worried because Cat is missing. Oh God no. Cap'n Rufus thinks "she probably found some tom to make whoopie with." If only. After dinner, Cap'n Rufus will help Paulie look for Cat.
As a cat lover, I can't bring myself to transcribe what will probably happen next. The cat scratches Mac when he takes it out of the pillowcase and runs away, escaping with her life. "Damn you, damn you to hell!" Stephanie screeches at Mac. But to you people, isn't hell a good thing?
At school the next day, Alan apologizes about the cat. Stephanie doesn't want to hear it; she got wait-listed by Stanford. If the sacrifice had happened, she would've gotten an acceptance letter. Stephanie needs someone she can count on. "You can count on me," says Alan. Mac tries to apologize about the cat; he didn't want Alan doing someone he didn't want to. Alan argues that he wanted to do it.
Chapel. Cap'n Rufus hopes the case will be over soon; he can't stand how bad his clothes smell. Mac suggests Judy can fill in after her vacation. Rufus doesn't plan on being on the streets that long. Mac tells the captain he's trying to keep Alan from being sucked any further into the cult. Cap'n Rufus reminds him that he's not a psychiatrist or a social worker. Juvie will see he gets the mental health help he desperately needs.
Stephanie is what's luring Alan into the cult and Mac is "afraid she's offering something I can't." Cap'n Rufus has a way around that: get Stephanie to offer herself to Mac. "She's a high school kid," Mac protests. Cap'n Rufus never said he had to accept the offer. After all, he's not running a stud farm.
At school, Mac tries to get Stephanie to give him another chance in the group. "That's the difference between leaders and sheep. I do what the others won't," says Stephanie. She doesn't want to end up like her parents. Her mom and dad both work hard, go to church, and are model citizens, but they aren't rich or powerful: "It's boring. It's like being with the living dead." Stephanie doesn't want to wait to get to Heaven to be rewarded; she wants an Oompa-Loompah now, Daddy, now!
Stephanie tells Mac he has to decide what he wants. Mac wants her. She'll meet him at the warehouse tonight, just the two of them. What a romantic date!
Mac drops by Alan's house. Mrs. Michaels answers the door and greets him pleasantly. Mac asks if Alan is around. Mrs. Michaels hasn't seen him all day and asks if something is wrong. She tells him that he's moody and distracted. She's glad he has a friend like Mac.
At the warehouse, Stephanie pours something flammable in a circle around where she and Mac are standing and drops a match. She tells him to take off his shirt, then traces one of her long red nails down his torso, stopping at his belt buckle. Stephanie wants Mac to take his pants off. Mac hesitates, but eventually does. "I'm in control. Are you?" Stephanie asks creepily. She shrugs off her long black robe. She's naked underneath. Stephanie wraps her arms around him. Unseen by both of them, Alan has come to the warehouse and caught them together.
Mac fills Cap'n Rufus in on the night's events, calling it "a valentine from Dracula." When he gets to the disrobing, Rufus asks, "I'm not gonna have to arrest you for statutory rape, am I?" Mac says no. Rufus tells him to stick with it; sooner or later, she'll do something illegal.
At Mac's locker, Stephanie asks if he dreamed about her. Mac did. In the dream, they were married with kids and a station wagon; Stephanie was PTA president. To her, that sounds like a nightmare. She kisses him. There's another meeting tonight. Mac tries to talk to Alan. Alan insists there's no hard feelings and will see him at the meeting.
Alan goes outside and tells Stephanie he wants to do something different, something nobody in the group has done before. Stephanie purrs that she underestimated him.
Paulie and Cap'n Rufus eat at Hope Mission. Paulie is overjoyed that he found Cat.
Alan is absent from the warehouse meeting. Stephanie explains that he's on his own special mission tonight. I've got a bad feeling about this. So does Mac. They all don black gloves and ski masks. The teens head to the alley to beat up another homeless person. They're surprised when their intended victim pulls a gun; it's Cap'n Rufus. Mac takes off his own ski mask, then Stephanie's: "Looks like you're not going to Stanford. Looks like you're going to jail."
Stephanie is angry about the betrayal. Mac asks where Alan is. Stephanie laughs maniacally: "Who does he hate? Who does he want to harm?" Mac races to Alan's house and gets out of the Jeep with his gun drawn. Mac has to force the door.
Inside, Alan is sitting next to the fireplace, holding a revolver. Alan can't decide what's a greater evil: committing murder or suicide. Alan is leaning toward killing himself; he doesn't want to go to prison or see a shrink. He wanted to show Stephanie how much he loves her. Alan considered killing Mac, then switched to his mother. But he decided "acting like a mom" wasn't enough to die for.
Alan mopes that Stephanie is "just like all the other organized religions. She makes promises but never delivers." He asks why Mac has a gun. Mac explains that he's a cop. Alan wants to know if Stephanie was arrested. Mac confirms. Alan drops his gun. Mac tells the teen that he didn't have to prove anything to Stephanie; she used him.
Mac turns in the paperwork on the case to Cap'n Rufus. Rufus asks if Mac wants to join him for pizza and beer. Mac would rather see a movie, escape from reality and all the demented things he witnessed. Cap'n Rufus asks what movie Mac is planning to see. "Triple feature. Nightmare on Elm Street 1-3," Mac says. Ironic because Johnny Depp was in the first one. Cap'n Rufus is up for it. When they open the Chapel doors, they're blasted by wind and blowing leaves. Spooky organ music ends the episode.
Several guys in black ski masks suddenly appear and force the homeless man to the ground. A girl in a ski mask uses the tip of a knife to trace a circle around the dogpile. She watches the boys hit the homeless man with a disturbing smile on her face and chants, "666." Of course! In the era of the McMartin Preschool trial, no cop show would be complete without an episode about Satanism.
Anyway, a second homeless man with a ginger cat stumbles onto the scene. He's horrified by what is happening. The teens force up their victim's shirt and spraypaint a pentagram on his back. The second homeless man goes to the encampment for reinforcements. One of the men shouts "Hey!" and the teens disperse. Their victim, nicknamed Sports, is unconscious. A homeless man who looks suspiciously like Captain Rufus tries to go into the nearby Hope Mission for help, but the door is locked. I guess it's the captain's turn to see how the other half lives. Sports' friend is holding him in a semi-sitting position. Rufus steadies him and finds the pentagram. Theme song.
Thunder rumbles ominously as Mac and Rufus enter the Chapel. Sports is not the first homeless person to have been attacked by this gang. All the prior victims reported the gang comes out of nowhere, the members don't say a word, and then they disappear. Mac makes a spooky noise. "Is that your professional opinion, Officer McCann?" asks Cap'n Rufus, "I don't care if they dress up in black robes and run around reciting incantations. They're attacking people." He reminds Mac that the homeless population makes for perfect victims; nobody to notice they're missing, much less report it.
Mac will be going undercover at Douglas High, which runs an outreach program that provides teen volunteers for Hope Mission. Maybe the junior Satanists have a key to the shelter or they're just using their volunteer work to look for victims. Cap'n Rufus tells Mac to be subtle about his interest in devil worship. Mac has a plan: During the first assembly he has to attend, "I'll fall to my knees and proclaim I'm Satan's child." "Excellent," Cap'n Rufus whispers sarcastically.
At Douglas High, a jock named Alan presents a girl with an illustration he mounted on cardboard using a glue stick. It depicts Priscilla James, a witch who lived in Boston during the 17th century. Is he sure he doesn't mean Salem? Alan asks if he can come to that night's meeting. "I said I'd think about it," says the girl. Alan reminds her that he did a big favor by getting her the key to the mission. She agrees to give him a chance. The unnamed girl is pretty average looking and not wearing over-the-top Goth fashion. Not even black lipstick. Alan throws away the Priscilla James picture.
In English class, the teacher discusses how the themes in Paradise Lost mimic those found in the original Star Wars trilogy. You'll have to draw your own conclusions about that; I've never read the book nor seen any of the Star Wars saga. The book, according to the teacher, features the Devil trying to get "back into Heaven, just like the rest of us." Mac disagrees, "The Devil doesn't wanna get back into Heaven; he's got the whole damn world in his hands." He lays out his proof that the devil's having fun in the 1990s: drive-by shooting, babies with AIDS, crack, and "worse, fat chicks in tank tops."
Mac's classmates snicker. Mac speculates that the Devil doesn't have horns or is actually female. The unnamed Satanist girl from earlier watches him interestedly. "I don't why anyone's planning for tomorrow when they can party today," Mac concludes. A few kids clap. The bell rings. Satanist Girl follows Mac to her locker and introduces herself as Stephanie AKA Stevie. Given that my Big in my sorority was named Stevie, this girl will be known as Stephanie in this recap. She invites him to come to an abandoned warehouse on 5th Street that night. Stephanie guarantees Mac the time of his life.
Alan asks if Mac has a crush on Stephanie. Mac likes them "a little less man-eater." Who can blame him after the crazy chick? Alan thinks Stephanie is perfect and asks if Mac was invited to the meeting. Mac wants to know what goes on at them. Alan has no idea; tonight will be his first time.
At Hope Mission, Cap'n Rufus sits down to dinner with Sports' friend Paulie and the ginger cat. Creatively, its name is Cat. Alan comes in and greets his mother, who's serving food. He asks for an advance on his allowance; his mom gave it to him 2 days ago. Alan cryptically tells her he had surprise expenses. She agrees to give him $20. Alan tells his mom he'll be out late with friends.
"Not those awful people I saw you with at school?" asks Mom. Alan tells her about his new friend Tony AKA Mac. Mom wants the new friend to come over. "So you can pass judgment on him?" asks Alan. Mom won't give him $20 until Alan agrees to bring his friend over, so he caves.
At the abandoned warehouse, the meeting begins with the teens sharing the worst thing they've heard or done that week. A girl gleefully describes a case of a mother running over her own baby with a car. A boy told his father about his mother having an affair. Another girl happily chirps that she read about a girl who died in a drive-by at her own 4th birthday party. It's Mac's turn: "In the last 5 minutes, there's been a rape, a murder, and a drunk driving violation." Not sure if those are daily time-based stats or what he heard on the police scanner driving over. Stephanie wants it to be more personal. Mac changes the story so that he was the one who committed rape/murder and a DUI.
Stephanie tells him that's not funny. Nothing anyone else said at the meeting has been remotely funny, so what's the big deal? Mac assures her he wants to be at the meeting.
Moving right along, it's time for old business. Nice to know that even Satanists follow Robert's Rules of Order. Stephanie reminds the group that their last spell was interrupted. The Stanford Admissions Committee is meeting this week, so their next mission has to be soon "or else I won't get into Stanford early." Mac asks if he'll be on the call list. "Such an eager little beaver," Stephanie says creepily. Mac and Alan can't go because they haven't been initiated yet. Both boys request to be initiated that night.
Everyone has to cut their finger with a ceremonial dagger while chanting "666." The dagger blade is run through a candle flame in between members. Mac looks deeply weirded out by the whole business and I don't blame him. Mac is second to last. Instead of cutting himself, Alan opts to burn his hand on a lightbulb. Mac knocks Alan's arm away. "Hey, I decide when it's enough!" says Stephanie, kissing Alan's burnt palm.
In Cap'n Rufus' office, Mac tells him these kids are sick, not to mention stupid. He can't understand what makes people do things like that. "A cult wants to mark you, make you do something you can't take back," says Cap'n Rufus, adding more grey to his beard for his undercover work. Mac says that papercuts heal. Rufus recognizes Alan's name. His mom volunteers at Hope Mission, so she must have a key. He tells Mac to get close to Alan and Stephanie. Mac doesn't want to get that close to her.
Mac parks his Jeep in front of Alan's house. From outside, he can hear Alan's mom, Mrs. Michaels, screaming at her son. It's not too much to ask that she knows where he is and when he's coming home. Alan argues back that he's a grown-ass man. Mrs. Michaels confronts him about the burn. Alan wishes his dad had better taste in women. Mrs. Michaels slaps him.
The doorbell rings. Mrs. Michaels lets Mac in and tells him, "Alan doesn't think it's appropriate that I meet his friend." Mac wishes his parents were like that and instantly wins Mrs. Michaels' approval. She leaves. What the hell was the point of making him come over if she's not gonna stay?
Alan gripes about his mom. She got a kit from "the tough love people" that supposedly allows parents to dust their kids' things for drug residue. She even wanted him to do a drug test last month. She also went through his tape collection. Mac suggests Alan let his mom in on some things to build trust. They leave for school.
Alan shares another story about his mom. During freshman year, he had a friend named Clay. Hopefully his last name wasn't Morrow. Alan and Clay were inseparable until the day Mrs. Michaels called Clay's parents and told them Clay was a bad influence. Clay's parents told him to stop hanging out with Alan because his mom was crazy. Clay told everyone why he wasn't allowed to hang out with Alan anymore.
Alan has a reoccurring nightmare about his mother following him everywhere until she's the only person who'll have anything to do with him. "She at it again?" Stephanie has joined the conversation. She says Alan's mom doesn't love him, just wants to dominate him. Alan agrees with Stephanie. Stephanie says Alan needs to take his power back and "the group can help you if you help the group. We need a sacrifice." They'll do it tonight at the warehouse.
Mac thinks what he said in English class is a long way from getting involved in a blood sacrifice. Stephanie tells him that he'll be at the warehouse or he'll have to quit the group. She also warns, "Don't keep Alan from attaining what he wants."
Stephanie finds Alan moping by himself in the English classroom. She acknowledges that what she's asking him to do is scary. Sacrifices gets easier, she promises. Alan will have to do the sacrifice himself. She says it's no different than swatting a mosquito. Alan can have anything he wants. She kisses him.
At Hope Mission, Paulie is worried because Cat is missing. Oh God no. Cap'n Rufus thinks "she probably found some tom to make whoopie with." If only. After dinner, Cap'n Rufus will help Paulie look for Cat.
As a cat lover, I can't bring myself to transcribe what will probably happen next. The cat scratches Mac when he takes it out of the pillowcase and runs away, escaping with her life. "Damn you, damn you to hell!" Stephanie screeches at Mac. But to you people, isn't hell a good thing?
At school the next day, Alan apologizes about the cat. Stephanie doesn't want to hear it; she got wait-listed by Stanford. If the sacrifice had happened, she would've gotten an acceptance letter. Stephanie needs someone she can count on. "You can count on me," says Alan. Mac tries to apologize about the cat; he didn't want Alan doing someone he didn't want to. Alan argues that he wanted to do it.
Chapel. Cap'n Rufus hopes the case will be over soon; he can't stand how bad his clothes smell. Mac suggests Judy can fill in after her vacation. Rufus doesn't plan on being on the streets that long. Mac tells the captain he's trying to keep Alan from being sucked any further into the cult. Cap'n Rufus reminds him that he's not a psychiatrist or a social worker. Juvie will see he gets the mental health help he desperately needs.
Stephanie is what's luring Alan into the cult and Mac is "afraid she's offering something I can't." Cap'n Rufus has a way around that: get Stephanie to offer herself to Mac. "She's a high school kid," Mac protests. Cap'n Rufus never said he had to accept the offer. After all, he's not running a stud farm.
At school, Mac tries to get Stephanie to give him another chance in the group. "That's the difference between leaders and sheep. I do what the others won't," says Stephanie. She doesn't want to end up like her parents. Her mom and dad both work hard, go to church, and are model citizens, but they aren't rich or powerful: "It's boring. It's like being with the living dead." Stephanie doesn't want to wait to get to Heaven to be rewarded; she wants an Oompa-Loompah now, Daddy, now!
Stephanie tells Mac he has to decide what he wants. Mac wants her. She'll meet him at the warehouse tonight, just the two of them. What a romantic date!
Mac drops by Alan's house. Mrs. Michaels answers the door and greets him pleasantly. Mac asks if Alan is around. Mrs. Michaels hasn't seen him all day and asks if something is wrong. She tells him that he's moody and distracted. She's glad he has a friend like Mac.
At the warehouse, Stephanie pours something flammable in a circle around where she and Mac are standing and drops a match. She tells him to take off his shirt, then traces one of her long red nails down his torso, stopping at his belt buckle. Stephanie wants Mac to take his pants off. Mac hesitates, but eventually does. "I'm in control. Are you?" Stephanie asks creepily. She shrugs off her long black robe. She's naked underneath. Stephanie wraps her arms around him. Unseen by both of them, Alan has come to the warehouse and caught them together.
Mac fills Cap'n Rufus in on the night's events, calling it "a valentine from Dracula." When he gets to the disrobing, Rufus asks, "I'm not gonna have to arrest you for statutory rape, am I?" Mac says no. Rufus tells him to stick with it; sooner or later, she'll do something illegal.
At Mac's locker, Stephanie asks if he dreamed about her. Mac did. In the dream, they were married with kids and a station wagon; Stephanie was PTA president. To her, that sounds like a nightmare. She kisses him. There's another meeting tonight. Mac tries to talk to Alan. Alan insists there's no hard feelings and will see him at the meeting.
Alan goes outside and tells Stephanie he wants to do something different, something nobody in the group has done before. Stephanie purrs that she underestimated him.
Paulie and Cap'n Rufus eat at Hope Mission. Paulie is overjoyed that he found Cat.
Alan is absent from the warehouse meeting. Stephanie explains that he's on his own special mission tonight. I've got a bad feeling about this. So does Mac. They all don black gloves and ski masks. The teens head to the alley to beat up another homeless person. They're surprised when their intended victim pulls a gun; it's Cap'n Rufus. Mac takes off his own ski mask, then Stephanie's: "Looks like you're not going to Stanford. Looks like you're going to jail."
Stephanie is angry about the betrayal. Mac asks where Alan is. Stephanie laughs maniacally: "Who does he hate? Who does he want to harm?" Mac races to Alan's house and gets out of the Jeep with his gun drawn. Mac has to force the door.
Inside, Alan is sitting next to the fireplace, holding a revolver. Alan can't decide what's a greater evil: committing murder or suicide. Alan is leaning toward killing himself; he doesn't want to go to prison or see a shrink. He wanted to show Stephanie how much he loves her. Alan considered killing Mac, then switched to his mother. But he decided "acting like a mom" wasn't enough to die for.
Alan mopes that Stephanie is "just like all the other organized religions. She makes promises but never delivers." He asks why Mac has a gun. Mac explains that he's a cop. Alan wants to know if Stephanie was arrested. Mac confirms. Alan drops his gun. Mac tells the teen that he didn't have to prove anything to Stephanie; she used him.
Mac turns in the paperwork on the case to Cap'n Rufus. Rufus asks if Mac wants to join him for pizza and beer. Mac would rather see a movie, escape from reality and all the demented things he witnessed. Cap'n Rufus asks what movie Mac is planning to see. "Triple feature. Nightmare on Elm Street 1-3," Mac says. Ironic because Johnny Depp was in the first one. Cap'n Rufus is up for it. When they open the Chapel doors, they're blasted by wind and blowing leaves. Spooky organ music ends the episode.
Case #5.14: "Baby Blues"
A greasy-haired drug dealer sells Judy, Mac, and Joey enough product to "supply 3 high schools." He is promptly arrested, causing him to shout, "They're cops! They're cops!" Somebody unseen starts shooting. Joey heads deeper into the darkened warehouse alone to find the shooter. Joey, baby, did you sleep through "safety in numbers" class at the academy?
A man in what looks like a boiler room fires at Joey. The littlest Penhall has only one choice: Aim for center mass. The drug dealer's accomplice groans, falling in slow motion. Judy and Mac hurry toward Joey with the greasy drug dealer in tow. "You killed him! You killed him!" shouts the dealer. Joey looks like he can't quite believe what he's done and starts toying with what used to be Doug's Saint Michael medal.
That night, Joey tosses and turns in bed, replaying the events in the warehouse. He sits up, sweaty and breathing hard, hair sticking up at crazy angles.
At the Chapel, Captain Rufus asks how Joey is doing. Joey grumpily says Rufus is the 10th person to ask him that this morning. Joey will be on desk duty until Internal Affairs reviews the shooting. Joey insists he doesn't need desk duty; he needs to work.
Captain Rufus has killed in the line of duty before. He tells the younger officer that posttraumatic problems can sneak up on you. Joey has a 10:00 appointment with the department psychologist. Also mandatory. Joey insists he's fine.
Joey watches the psychologist, Dr. Reznick, fiddle with the Thermostat on the wall and asks, "Do I have to lie down?" Dr. Reznick ignores this, griping about how the heat and air never work. Joey wants to leave. "All right, I'll give you the express treatment," says Dr. Reznick. Joey repeats that he's fine.
Dr. R asks how Joey slept last night. "After the neighbors quit fighting, great," Joey replies. Dr. R wants to know if Joey had breakfast. Joey nods; he finished last night's pizza. Dr. R raises an eyebrow, "Pizza for breakfast?" My parents are from New Jersey; it's actually not that weird.
Dr. R has one last question: If put in the same situation again, does Joey have any concern that he would freeze? "There's no such thing as the same situation." Right on, Joey, just like there's no such thing as a routine traffic stop. Joey thinks psychologists are crazy. Dr. R hands him a piece of paper with an address on it.
"A hospital? Are you committing me?" Joey asks. No, Dr. R wants Joey to pay a visit to the neonatal unit. The police department has the idea of providing officers who've killed in the line of duty with a "life-affirming experience to counterbalance their actions." Joey laughs, "You want me to go to a hospital to watch babies? Will it get me back undercover?" Dr. R can't guarantee anything, but Joey needs to heal his psyche.
Back at the Chapel, Joey sits at his desk shuffling papers. Mac calls out asking if he wants a chicken wing. Joey doesn't and he also turns down a thigh. "Aren't you hungry?" Judy asks. Joey says, "No...Yes! Look, I know what you guys are up to and it's not gonna work." He thinks they're trying to take his mind off the shooting.
Mac tells Joey that he got shot while working in Newark and was almost glad. The thing he feared most happened; he didn't have to wonder or worry anymore. "I get it," says Joey, "you wanna know what it's like to go all the way." Joey tells them he didn't blink or flinch when he pulled the trigger. He gives them a cheery wave as heads out the door. That night, Joey can't sleep again.
The next morning, Captain Rufus lets Joey know that his door is open if he needs to talk. Another detective brings in a suspect for Joey to do paperwork on. Joey asks the suspect for his name. "They got dog ugly secretaries down here," sasses the suspect. Joey ignores that. The guy makes another crack about Joey's hairstyle choice (ponytail). Joey slides his chair closer to the guy and says calmly, "You can talk to me or I can kick your teeth out one row at a time. Last name?"
The guy responds that his last name is Gonzales and he's 18: "You want my phone number too? Or maybe I ain't your type." Joey has had enough. He yanks the guy up by his shirt collar. In the process of pulling the suspect out of Joey's grip, Joey pops Mac in the face. Joey apologizes but doesn't quite look sincere.
"Why don't you just tell me what's on your mind?" Captain Rufus asks in the office. He suggests Joey go back to Dr. Reznick. Joey doesn't like psychologists; he probably had his fill growing up with a violently unstable alcoholic father. Captain Rufus says Joey can talk to him instead. After some hesitation, Joey opens up, admitting that he's not sleeping.
Captain Rufus has heard about the hospital program for officers involved in shootings. He thinks it's a good idea because desk duty is obviously not agreeing with Joey, but he can't put Joey back on the street.
Joey goes to the neonatal floor and meets with Nurse Sullivan. "Watch off," she instructs briskly, opening a door. She tells Joey to scrub his hands, pull his hair back, and put on a gown. "Do you think I'm really equipped to do this?" Joey asks. Nurse Sullivan has a question of her own: "Are you drunk or high?" When Joey says no, she tells him that he'll be fine.
Nurse Sullivan leads Joey into a nursery unit that specializes in babies born to drug-addicted mothers or mothers with AIDS. Some of the babies have been abandoned. In other cases, the mothers are so unstable that they aren't allowed to visit. The babies need to be held to give them a better chance at emotional development.
Nurse Sullivan shows Joey how to hold a baby. The screaming girl, Shaun, was born addicted to crack and hasn't had a visitor in a long time. Nurse Sullivan heads off to answer a page. Joey, bewildered, turns to one of the experienced nursery workers. The woman tells Joey it's simple; talk to Shaun, cuddle her, and give her a bottle.
As the day wears on, Joey seems to get slightly more comfortable helping with baby Shaun. The nursery worker shows him how to change her diaper. Nurse Sullivan finally comes back and puts Shaun in her crib. She advises Joey to get some sleep; he's due back at the nursery at 8 AM.
Joey shakes his hair out of its ponytail and stops at the nurses' station to ask what will happen to Shaun. The duty nurse replies that it depends on whether or not Shaun's mother can kick her drug habit. Shaun's mother punched the duty nurse in the face for taking Shaun away after she was born. The mother swore she would get clean and get her baby back; the nurse hasn't seen Shaun's mother since.
The duty nurse is summoned away by a page. Conveniently, Shaun's chart is sitting on the desk. Joey peeks at it and learns the mother's name is Katherine and she has no fixed address.
When Joey goes outside, Mac's Jeep is waiting for him. Joey gets in and gives Mac a guilty look: "How's the jaw?" Mac shrugs that it only hurts to talk. "Then shut up," Joey advises, giving Mac a peace offering of gum.
Joey and Mac go to what looks like either a very questionable halfway house or an equally grungy shelter. Mac doesn't think tracking down Shaun's mother is a good idea. They hear a couple arguing inside one of the apartments. The woman is being beaten. Mac and Joey announce that they're the police and kick in the door.
The woman, actually barely more than a teenager, is lying on the living room carpet. Furniture has been knocked over and there's no sign of whoever was attacking her. Joey offers to call an ambulance, but the woman says no. Of course it transpires that she's Katherine. Katherine is also only 15 years old. Joey wants to talk to her about Shaun.
Mac finds a crack rock, which Katherine insists belongs to her boyfriend. "Yeah, and I'm Elvis," Joey says, handcuffing her.
The next morning at the Chapel, Judy asks why Joey put up Catherine's $200 bail. He did it because Katherine promised she'd go into rehab. The teen has multiple priors for drugs, shoplifting, and soliciting. Katherine thanks Joey for bailing her out; she plans to go to a job placement program after she finishes rehab. Judy tells Katherine to her face that she doesn't think the teen will change. Katherine didn't care about her baby when she was pregnant and using crack. Why should she care about Shaun now?
Katherine says she's gonna try to get clean again. "Trying is nice," says Judy. Joey pulls her aside. Judy asks if he'd be bending over backwards for a childless junkie.
Outside, Joey apologizes to Katherine. Katherine wishes she could go visit Shaun and hold her before she goes to rehab.
At the nursery, Joey puts on a clown nose and hangs a musical mobile over Shaun's crib. He picks the baby up and notices that Shaun is shaking. He calls Mrs. Williams, the other nursery worker, over to check on her. Mrs. Williams puts the baby she's taking care of in a crib.
Shaun is having convulsions. Mrs. Williams tells Joey to push the emergency button on the wall. Nurse Sullivan rushes in with a doctor. She tells Joey to leave. Joey asks if Shaun is okay. Nurse Sullivan explains that Shaun is going through drug withdrawal.
Mac comes to sit with Joey in the waiting room. Shaun has been taken to surgery. Mac brought a small teddy bear for her. Nurse Sullivan tells Joey that Shaun is fine; he'll have to visit her in the morning. Joey hesitantly asks if Shaun will be normal. Nurse Sullivan says most drug-addicted babies have brain damage and they aren't yet sure how severe it is in Shaun's case. Joey looks sad.
Mac has more bad news. Katherine never checked into the rehab center and she's not at her apartment. That's okay because Joey has an idea.
"What credentials do you have to be a parent?" Dr. Reznick asks huffily. Joey answers, "More than her mother, I'll tell you that." Dr. R points out that isn't saying much, but agrees to give a letter of reference. He rattles off all the things Joey has to consider: health insurance, daycare, shopping, clothes, diapers, bottles, disabilities Shaun may have later in childhood. Taking care of her isn't Joey's problem.
Joey is disgusted. Dr. R says that saving Shaun won't bring back the suspect Joey killed. "I don't want the bastard back," Joey growls, "I want Shaun to have a chance. Your system stinks." He slams the door as he leaves.
Joey arrives at the hospital and learns a woman came and kidnapped Shaun. The police are already there putting out an APB.
Later at the Chapel, the team exposits that Katherine hasn't come to her apartment. They haven't found her anywhere else either. Dr. R is waiting in Rufus's office to have an audience with Joey. Dr. Reznick called in some favors and found a couple willing to adopt Shaun if she's safely recovered. Joey wants to meet them. Dr. R says no way.
Captain Rufus thinks Joey should go home because he's been up all night. "I'll rest when I find Shaun," Joey says. Rufus tells Mac and Judy to follow him: "I don't think he realizes exactly what he may find."
Joey goes the halfway house and confronts Katherine's abusive boyfriend. He denies being Shaun's father. After having his head bounced against the wall a few times, he tells Joey where he can find Katherine and the baby.
They find Katherine smoking another rock at a crack house. Joey asks where the baby is. "She's gone," Katherine replies smoothly. Joey demands to know where Shaun has gone. Katherine claims Shaun will have a good home; she hired a lawyer to help the process. "You sold her, didn't you?" asks Joey, "You sold her to buy drugs!"
"They gave me the money. I didn't ask," Katherine whimpers. I'm now having flashbacks of the pilot episode of The Shield. Joey shouts that Katherine is a poster girl for birth control. He drags the sobbing teen out of the crack house.
Later, Katherine points out the lawyer's office where she dropped off Shaun. Judy says she'll call for back up. Mac thinks she should call an ambulance too. Joey accosts the trenchcoat wearing probably-not-lawyer: "Where's the baby?"
Joey checks the backseat of the suspect's car. It's cluttered with boxes and other junk. "Oh man," Joey murmurs, "Shaun?" The blanket wrapped baby is wedged behind a box. Because this isn't The Shield, Shaun starts to move and coo. "Hiya, brown eyes," Joey smiles.
The ambulance arrives. Joey rides to the hospital with the baby. "Please hold on, Shaun," he says desperately, "I'm gonna dance at your wedding. I'm gonna dance at your wedding, you hear me?"
In Captain Rufus's office, Rufus apologizes that things didn't work out. Joey shrugs that Dr. R found really nice parents for Shaun. "The guy I shot musta made about 1,000 bad choices to end up where he did. Shaun didn't have a choice," he says. Rufus gives Joey his service revolver back; Internal Affairs cleared him. End of episode.
A man in what looks like a boiler room fires at Joey. The littlest Penhall has only one choice: Aim for center mass. The drug dealer's accomplice groans, falling in slow motion. Judy and Mac hurry toward Joey with the greasy drug dealer in tow. "You killed him! You killed him!" shouts the dealer. Joey looks like he can't quite believe what he's done and starts toying with what used to be Doug's Saint Michael medal.
That night, Joey tosses and turns in bed, replaying the events in the warehouse. He sits up, sweaty and breathing hard, hair sticking up at crazy angles.
At the Chapel, Captain Rufus asks how Joey is doing. Joey grumpily says Rufus is the 10th person to ask him that this morning. Joey will be on desk duty until Internal Affairs reviews the shooting. Joey insists he doesn't need desk duty; he needs to work.
Captain Rufus has killed in the line of duty before. He tells the younger officer that posttraumatic problems can sneak up on you. Joey has a 10:00 appointment with the department psychologist. Also mandatory. Joey insists he's fine.
Joey watches the psychologist, Dr. Reznick, fiddle with the Thermostat on the wall and asks, "Do I have to lie down?" Dr. Reznick ignores this, griping about how the heat and air never work. Joey wants to leave. "All right, I'll give you the express treatment," says Dr. Reznick. Joey repeats that he's fine.
Dr. R asks how Joey slept last night. "After the neighbors quit fighting, great," Joey replies. Dr. R wants to know if Joey had breakfast. Joey nods; he finished last night's pizza. Dr. R raises an eyebrow, "Pizza for breakfast?" My parents are from New Jersey; it's actually not that weird.
Dr. R has one last question: If put in the same situation again, does Joey have any concern that he would freeze? "There's no such thing as the same situation." Right on, Joey, just like there's no such thing as a routine traffic stop. Joey thinks psychologists are crazy. Dr. R hands him a piece of paper with an address on it.
"A hospital? Are you committing me?" Joey asks. No, Dr. R wants Joey to pay a visit to the neonatal unit. The police department has the idea of providing officers who've killed in the line of duty with a "life-affirming experience to counterbalance their actions." Joey laughs, "You want me to go to a hospital to watch babies? Will it get me back undercover?" Dr. R can't guarantee anything, but Joey needs to heal his psyche.
Back at the Chapel, Joey sits at his desk shuffling papers. Mac calls out asking if he wants a chicken wing. Joey doesn't and he also turns down a thigh. "Aren't you hungry?" Judy asks. Joey says, "No...Yes! Look, I know what you guys are up to and it's not gonna work." He thinks they're trying to take his mind off the shooting.
Mac tells Joey that he got shot while working in Newark and was almost glad. The thing he feared most happened; he didn't have to wonder or worry anymore. "I get it," says Joey, "you wanna know what it's like to go all the way." Joey tells them he didn't blink or flinch when he pulled the trigger. He gives them a cheery wave as heads out the door. That night, Joey can't sleep again.
The next morning, Captain Rufus lets Joey know that his door is open if he needs to talk. Another detective brings in a suspect for Joey to do paperwork on. Joey asks the suspect for his name. "They got dog ugly secretaries down here," sasses the suspect. Joey ignores that. The guy makes another crack about Joey's hairstyle choice (ponytail). Joey slides his chair closer to the guy and says calmly, "You can talk to me or I can kick your teeth out one row at a time. Last name?"
The guy responds that his last name is Gonzales and he's 18: "You want my phone number too? Or maybe I ain't your type." Joey has had enough. He yanks the guy up by his shirt collar. In the process of pulling the suspect out of Joey's grip, Joey pops Mac in the face. Joey apologizes but doesn't quite look sincere.
"Why don't you just tell me what's on your mind?" Captain Rufus asks in the office. He suggests Joey go back to Dr. Reznick. Joey doesn't like psychologists; he probably had his fill growing up with a violently unstable alcoholic father. Captain Rufus says Joey can talk to him instead. After some hesitation, Joey opens up, admitting that he's not sleeping.
Captain Rufus has heard about the hospital program for officers involved in shootings. He thinks it's a good idea because desk duty is obviously not agreeing with Joey, but he can't put Joey back on the street.
Joey goes to the neonatal floor and meets with Nurse Sullivan. "Watch off," she instructs briskly, opening a door. She tells Joey to scrub his hands, pull his hair back, and put on a gown. "Do you think I'm really equipped to do this?" Joey asks. Nurse Sullivan has a question of her own: "Are you drunk or high?" When Joey says no, she tells him that he'll be fine.
Nurse Sullivan leads Joey into a nursery unit that specializes in babies born to drug-addicted mothers or mothers with AIDS. Some of the babies have been abandoned. In other cases, the mothers are so unstable that they aren't allowed to visit. The babies need to be held to give them a better chance at emotional development.
Nurse Sullivan shows Joey how to hold a baby. The screaming girl, Shaun, was born addicted to crack and hasn't had a visitor in a long time. Nurse Sullivan heads off to answer a page. Joey, bewildered, turns to one of the experienced nursery workers. The woman tells Joey it's simple; talk to Shaun, cuddle her, and give her a bottle.
As the day wears on, Joey seems to get slightly more comfortable helping with baby Shaun. The nursery worker shows him how to change her diaper. Nurse Sullivan finally comes back and puts Shaun in her crib. She advises Joey to get some sleep; he's due back at the nursery at 8 AM.
Joey shakes his hair out of its ponytail and stops at the nurses' station to ask what will happen to Shaun. The duty nurse replies that it depends on whether or not Shaun's mother can kick her drug habit. Shaun's mother punched the duty nurse in the face for taking Shaun away after she was born. The mother swore she would get clean and get her baby back; the nurse hasn't seen Shaun's mother since.
The duty nurse is summoned away by a page. Conveniently, Shaun's chart is sitting on the desk. Joey peeks at it and learns the mother's name is Katherine and she has no fixed address.
When Joey goes outside, Mac's Jeep is waiting for him. Joey gets in and gives Mac a guilty look: "How's the jaw?" Mac shrugs that it only hurts to talk. "Then shut up," Joey advises, giving Mac a peace offering of gum.
Joey and Mac go to what looks like either a very questionable halfway house or an equally grungy shelter. Mac doesn't think tracking down Shaun's mother is a good idea. They hear a couple arguing inside one of the apartments. The woman is being beaten. Mac and Joey announce that they're the police and kick in the door.
The woman, actually barely more than a teenager, is lying on the living room carpet. Furniture has been knocked over and there's no sign of whoever was attacking her. Joey offers to call an ambulance, but the woman says no. Of course it transpires that she's Katherine. Katherine is also only 15 years old. Joey wants to talk to her about Shaun.
Mac finds a crack rock, which Katherine insists belongs to her boyfriend. "Yeah, and I'm Elvis," Joey says, handcuffing her.
The next morning at the Chapel, Judy asks why Joey put up Catherine's $200 bail. He did it because Katherine promised she'd go into rehab. The teen has multiple priors for drugs, shoplifting, and soliciting. Katherine thanks Joey for bailing her out; she plans to go to a job placement program after she finishes rehab. Judy tells Katherine to her face that she doesn't think the teen will change. Katherine didn't care about her baby when she was pregnant and using crack. Why should she care about Shaun now?
Katherine says she's gonna try to get clean again. "Trying is nice," says Judy. Joey pulls her aside. Judy asks if he'd be bending over backwards for a childless junkie.
Outside, Joey apologizes to Katherine. Katherine wishes she could go visit Shaun and hold her before she goes to rehab.
At the nursery, Joey puts on a clown nose and hangs a musical mobile over Shaun's crib. He picks the baby up and notices that Shaun is shaking. He calls Mrs. Williams, the other nursery worker, over to check on her. Mrs. Williams puts the baby she's taking care of in a crib.
Shaun is having convulsions. Mrs. Williams tells Joey to push the emergency button on the wall. Nurse Sullivan rushes in with a doctor. She tells Joey to leave. Joey asks if Shaun is okay. Nurse Sullivan explains that Shaun is going through drug withdrawal.
Mac comes to sit with Joey in the waiting room. Shaun has been taken to surgery. Mac brought a small teddy bear for her. Nurse Sullivan tells Joey that Shaun is fine; he'll have to visit her in the morning. Joey hesitantly asks if Shaun will be normal. Nurse Sullivan says most drug-addicted babies have brain damage and they aren't yet sure how severe it is in Shaun's case. Joey looks sad.
Mac has more bad news. Katherine never checked into the rehab center and she's not at her apartment. That's okay because Joey has an idea.
"What credentials do you have to be a parent?" Dr. Reznick asks huffily. Joey answers, "More than her mother, I'll tell you that." Dr. R points out that isn't saying much, but agrees to give a letter of reference. He rattles off all the things Joey has to consider: health insurance, daycare, shopping, clothes, diapers, bottles, disabilities Shaun may have later in childhood. Taking care of her isn't Joey's problem.
Joey is disgusted. Dr. R says that saving Shaun won't bring back the suspect Joey killed. "I don't want the bastard back," Joey growls, "I want Shaun to have a chance. Your system stinks." He slams the door as he leaves.
Joey arrives at the hospital and learns a woman came and kidnapped Shaun. The police are already there putting out an APB.
Later at the Chapel, the team exposits that Katherine hasn't come to her apartment. They haven't found her anywhere else either. Dr. R is waiting in Rufus's office to have an audience with Joey. Dr. Reznick called in some favors and found a couple willing to adopt Shaun if she's safely recovered. Joey wants to meet them. Dr. R says no way.
Captain Rufus thinks Joey should go home because he's been up all night. "I'll rest when I find Shaun," Joey says. Rufus tells Mac and Judy to follow him: "I don't think he realizes exactly what he may find."
Joey goes the halfway house and confronts Katherine's abusive boyfriend. He denies being Shaun's father. After having his head bounced against the wall a few times, he tells Joey where he can find Katherine and the baby.
They find Katherine smoking another rock at a crack house. Joey asks where the baby is. "She's gone," Katherine replies smoothly. Joey demands to know where Shaun has gone. Katherine claims Shaun will have a good home; she hired a lawyer to help the process. "You sold her, didn't you?" asks Joey, "You sold her to buy drugs!"
"They gave me the money. I didn't ask," Katherine whimpers. I'm now having flashbacks of the pilot episode of The Shield. Joey shouts that Katherine is a poster girl for birth control. He drags the sobbing teen out of the crack house.
Later, Katherine points out the lawyer's office where she dropped off Shaun. Judy says she'll call for back up. Mac thinks she should call an ambulance too. Joey accosts the trenchcoat wearing probably-not-lawyer: "Where's the baby?"
Joey checks the backseat of the suspect's car. It's cluttered with boxes and other junk. "Oh man," Joey murmurs, "Shaun?" The blanket wrapped baby is wedged behind a box. Because this isn't The Shield, Shaun starts to move and coo. "Hiya, brown eyes," Joey smiles.
The ambulance arrives. Joey rides to the hospital with the baby. "Please hold on, Shaun," he says desperately, "I'm gonna dance at your wedding. I'm gonna dance at your wedding, you hear me?"
In Captain Rufus's office, Rufus apologizes that things didn't work out. Joey shrugs that Dr. R found really nice parents for Shaun. "The guy I shot musta made about 1,000 bad choices to end up where he did. Shaun didn't have a choice," he says. Rufus gives Joey his service revolver back; Internal Affairs cleared him. End of episode.
Case #5.13: "The Education of Terry Carver"
A young woman flips through the card catalog at a college research library. A guy watches her too closely, gets up, and follows her upstairs. While looking through the stacks, a thump startles the girl. She hears another thump. The guy, Bill, startles her even more by coming up behind her. Bill is wearing a letterman style jacket with the letters Phi Kappa on it.
"You're Terry, right?" Bill asks. Terry confirms her name and that she's on the yearbook staff. She tells Bill good night. Bill grabs her and says he's always wondered about her. "There's not much to know," Terry says, clearly uncomfortable. She asks Bill to let go of her arm and leave her alone. Bill lets go and continues following her through the stacks. Suddenly, he grabs her from behind, whispers, "I want you" and forces her to the floor. Theme song.
In a bizarre change of tone, we cut to Mac and Joey in the Chapel. They ask Judy how good she is at basketball. She was on the all-city team 3 years in high school. Mac tells her that two cops and dispatcher from another precinct bet $200 that Jump Street can't beat them in a 3-on-3 basketball game. The game is that night. Judy tells the guys she has plans.
"Let her go, guys," says Cap'n Rufus. Mac gripes that Judy can go on a date anytime. Cap'n Rufus explains that she always has "a personal thing" on Wednesday nights. If Joey and Mac want to know more, they have to ask Judy.
Judy's "personal thing" is volunteering at a local rape crisis center. Terry comes in, asking to talk to someone. Judy takes her to a private area with a couch. Terry sobs out that she was attacked by Bill. She stayed in the library for a long time afterward, then she ran to the student union to call the campus police. Campus PD questioned Terry, drove her to the hospital, and said they'd take care of it. Judy asks what the city police said.
As far as Terry knows, the city police were never contacted. The dean keeps brushing her off and it's been over a week since the rape. Judy offers to have her friend who's a cop look into it.
Judy tells Cap'n Rufus about Bill following Terry through the library before raping her at knifepoint. She can't find any record of campus PD reporting the rape to a nearby precinct. Rufus is on his way to a meeting downtown and says he'll stop by to talk to the campus police.
At campus PD, Cap'n Rufus meets with Captain Briggs. Rufus asks about the rape that was reported last Friday. Briggs plays dumb. Rufus knows that the victim called campus PD and that the officers who took her statement dropped her off at the ER. Briggs tells Rufus that nothing like that could've happened without him hearing about it. Rufus isn't convinced. Briggs invites Cap'n Rufus to look through Friday's police blotter, insisting nobody reported a rape. Rufus checks the book and sighs.
It's late at night when Cap'n Rufus gets back to the Chapel and Judy is still there. He fills her in on his visit to the campus police. Judy knows Terry is telling the truth. Cap'n Rufus offers to send Judy undercover on campus; they won't ask the college to cooperate since it seems they're trying to cover up what happened to Terry. Judy has an idea for a cover...
Judy goes to the dean's office, posing as a new secretary doing work study. The dean notes how fast Judy types and wishes she'd take the job full-time. Judy tells the dean that she took a message from Judy while the dean was at an alumni brunch. The dean instructs Judy to take another message if Terry calls again. Judy says, "She said something about being raped. Aren't you concerned?"
The dean, who it should be noted is female, claims she's talked to Terry several times. The dean adds that it's impossible for the incident to have happened at all. At the time of the rape, the accused rapist was 50 miles away buying beer for his fraternity's kegger.
Judy goes to the hospital. A nurse looks through a file cabinet and tells her that nobody with the last name Carter received a sexual assault exam. The only Jane Doe who came to the ER that night was a cardiac patient.
Judy meets with Terry again at the rape crisis center. Terry insists that she went to the hospital but admits she didn't stay for the exam. She went home, took a bath, and went to sleep with the aid of Valium. The campus PD officers didn't stay with her at the hospital. Terry worries that Bill won't be prosecuted because she didn't get the exam. Judy tells her the case will be hard to prove since Bill has an alibi.
Joey goes to the campus PD for a job interview. Briggs asks why Joey dropped out of the police academy. Joey says, "Look, man, I'm honest, I'm tough, and I'm available." Briggs agrees to hire Joey; he can start that night. Joey has to buy his own uniform, but the rest of the gear will be supplied by campus PD.
Briggs gives Joey a tour of the station. He points out the emergency line, which records all incoming calls: "usually just stolen bikes, loud parties, and the occasional fight with the townies." Joey asks what they do if it's something major like murder. Briggs replies that they call the city police.
Outside, Mac is waiting for Joey in the car. He's also starting an assignment that night: Phi Kappa Delta, Bill's fraternity. Mac always thought being in a fraternity would be a lot of fun. "Don't they make you do a buncha weird rituals like runnin' around town in your underpants with olives taped to your nipples?" Joey asks as he finishes a Twinkie that Mac had been eating. Gross.
Mac tells Joey that only pledges have to do that stuff. He bought a Phi Kappa Delta pin at a pawn shop and will be posing as an active brother who's transferring from another school. At the Phi Kappa Delta house, the boys are playing poker with cookies as poker chips. Mac is introduced to the chapter president, who just so happens to be Bill. They explain that they're using cookies because Dave lost the poker chips.
After the game, Mac goes to the Chapel with his winnings. Mac thinks it'll be hard to disprove Bill's alibi; he had a receipt for the beer. The liquor store Bill went to is known for not carding people.
Back at the Phi Kappa Delta house, Mac works on his transfer application. He doesn't know what to put down as his major; his major at Syracuse is undeclared. Bill advises him to pick a major that's not crowded. Bill himself is majoring in history and plans to go to law school. Another brother tells Bill that he has a phone call. He implies to Mac that Bill's seat at law school is bought and paid for by his rich daddy.
At the library, Terry calls campus PD. She's been waiting over half an hour for someone to come walk her back to her dorm. She agrees to wait longer and hangs up. Outside, Joey is writing a parking ticket for a car that practically parked inside the library. Meanwhile, Terry is furious because the volunteer escorts who turn up are Bill and one of his fraternity brothers.
Joey hears her screams and races to investigate. He pulls Bill off Terry and handcuffs him. Joey advises the other students present to stick around because they're all witnesses. Frat Boy #2 insists Bill didn't do anything. "What do you mean, he didn't do anything? He raped me!" shrieks Terry. Frat Boy #2 says Terry attacked Bill; Bill backs him up and there's a murmur of general agreement from the crowd. Terry can't believe it.
At campus PD, Briggs scolds Joey for handcuffing Bill. Officers aren't allowed to touch anybody and besides, "these kids aren't street trash! They're college students! Whatever happens is between them; let them sue each other."
In the dean's office, Judy informs the dean that she just took another message from Terry. The dean insists the school is doing everything they can to get Terry psychological counseling. She heard about the incident at the library and: "If he [Bill] raped her, why would he be stupid enough to go anywhere near her?" Judy thinks the dean is being unfair.
Mac talks to Bill about Terry. He insists Terry is crazy and obsessed with him. His dad's lawyer promised to take care of it.
Bill has a court hearing to get a restraining order against Terry. The female judge asks if Terry wants to hire her own attorney, but Terry declines. Terry admits to hitting Bill because he raped her two weeks earlier. The judge asks if Terry is pressing charges through the DA's office. Terry says no.
Bill's lawyer says Terry's statement demonstrates why the restraining order is necessary. Terry met Bill through the yearbook; he was the editor. Bill's lawyer asks if Terry had sexual fantasies about Bill, whether she has a steady boyfriend or dates casually. Terry doesn't have a boyfriend and last dated a month and a half ago. The lawyer asks if Terry had sex with said date; she did. The lawyer asks if they stopped dating because Terry wasn't sexually satisfied.
Terry, understandably, loses it: "You bastard! You know what he did! He raped me!" The judge sharply tells her to sit down and urges Terry to press charges against Bill. The judge grants the restraining order. Terry runs out of the courtroom in tears. Judy urges her not to give up on having Bill put in jail.
At the Chapel, Cap'n Rufus announces they're stopping their investigation. Terry isn't considered a victim anymore and there's no forensic evidence. Judy wants to stay undercover by herself. Fuller gives her half a day to end her cover.
In the frat house, Mac tells Bill that his transfer was denied so he's going back to Syracuse. Bill wishes him luck. Mac goes outside and talks to Dave. Dave drives a small convertible, but he can still transport two kegs by putting one in the trunk and one in the passenger seat. He did this the night that Bill was supposedly with him. Mac flashes his badge. Dave insists that Bill didn't rape Terry and will testify to that if he has to. Mac explains perjury to Dave and adds that he also has a case against Dave for aiding and abetting.
Bill is Dave's best friend, so Dave lied when the campus PD showed up at the fraternity house to question Bill. The captain got a call on the recorded emergency line while they were at the station and let them both go.
At campus PD, Joey finds the 911 tapes from the night of Terry's rape and gets ready to play them for Mac. Briggs orders Joey to put the tapes away. "I lied about droppin' outta the academy. I graduated!" Joey says brightly, producing his badge and a warrant. The tape is a conversation between Briggs and Dean Crane. Briggs wanted to do the right thing and hand the case off to city PD. Dean Crane says, "I know that boy. His father's given the university over $4 million. Bill Howard did not do this."
Briggs tells her it's not their job to decide guilt or innocence. "It is if you want to continue working here," Dean Crane threatens. Joey arrests Briggs and reads him his rights. Mac marches Bill out of the frat house and reads him his rights; Judy does the same to Dean Crane. The dean insists she only had the students' best interests at heart when she covered up Terry's rape.
Terry visits Judy at the rape crisis center to thank her. Terry is pressing charges against Bill and plans to testify at his trial. Another college-age girl comes in to report a rape. End of episode.
"You're Terry, right?" Bill asks. Terry confirms her name and that she's on the yearbook staff. She tells Bill good night. Bill grabs her and says he's always wondered about her. "There's not much to know," Terry says, clearly uncomfortable. She asks Bill to let go of her arm and leave her alone. Bill lets go and continues following her through the stacks. Suddenly, he grabs her from behind, whispers, "I want you" and forces her to the floor. Theme song.
In a bizarre change of tone, we cut to Mac and Joey in the Chapel. They ask Judy how good she is at basketball. She was on the all-city team 3 years in high school. Mac tells her that two cops and dispatcher from another precinct bet $200 that Jump Street can't beat them in a 3-on-3 basketball game. The game is that night. Judy tells the guys she has plans.
"Let her go, guys," says Cap'n Rufus. Mac gripes that Judy can go on a date anytime. Cap'n Rufus explains that she always has "a personal thing" on Wednesday nights. If Joey and Mac want to know more, they have to ask Judy.
Judy's "personal thing" is volunteering at a local rape crisis center. Terry comes in, asking to talk to someone. Judy takes her to a private area with a couch. Terry sobs out that she was attacked by Bill. She stayed in the library for a long time afterward, then she ran to the student union to call the campus police. Campus PD questioned Terry, drove her to the hospital, and said they'd take care of it. Judy asks what the city police said.
As far as Terry knows, the city police were never contacted. The dean keeps brushing her off and it's been over a week since the rape. Judy offers to have her friend who's a cop look into it.
Judy tells Cap'n Rufus about Bill following Terry through the library before raping her at knifepoint. She can't find any record of campus PD reporting the rape to a nearby precinct. Rufus is on his way to a meeting downtown and says he'll stop by to talk to the campus police.
At campus PD, Cap'n Rufus meets with Captain Briggs. Rufus asks about the rape that was reported last Friday. Briggs plays dumb. Rufus knows that the victim called campus PD and that the officers who took her statement dropped her off at the ER. Briggs tells Rufus that nothing like that could've happened without him hearing about it. Rufus isn't convinced. Briggs invites Cap'n Rufus to look through Friday's police blotter, insisting nobody reported a rape. Rufus checks the book and sighs.
It's late at night when Cap'n Rufus gets back to the Chapel and Judy is still there. He fills her in on his visit to the campus police. Judy knows Terry is telling the truth. Cap'n Rufus offers to send Judy undercover on campus; they won't ask the college to cooperate since it seems they're trying to cover up what happened to Terry. Judy has an idea for a cover...
Judy goes to the dean's office, posing as a new secretary doing work study. The dean notes how fast Judy types and wishes she'd take the job full-time. Judy tells the dean that she took a message from Judy while the dean was at an alumni brunch. The dean instructs Judy to take another message if Terry calls again. Judy says, "She said something about being raped. Aren't you concerned?"
The dean, who it should be noted is female, claims she's talked to Terry several times. The dean adds that it's impossible for the incident to have happened at all. At the time of the rape, the accused rapist was 50 miles away buying beer for his fraternity's kegger.
Judy goes to the hospital. A nurse looks through a file cabinet and tells her that nobody with the last name Carter received a sexual assault exam. The only Jane Doe who came to the ER that night was a cardiac patient.
Judy meets with Terry again at the rape crisis center. Terry insists that she went to the hospital but admits she didn't stay for the exam. She went home, took a bath, and went to sleep with the aid of Valium. The campus PD officers didn't stay with her at the hospital. Terry worries that Bill won't be prosecuted because she didn't get the exam. Judy tells her the case will be hard to prove since Bill has an alibi.
Joey goes to the campus PD for a job interview. Briggs asks why Joey dropped out of the police academy. Joey says, "Look, man, I'm honest, I'm tough, and I'm available." Briggs agrees to hire Joey; he can start that night. Joey has to buy his own uniform, but the rest of the gear will be supplied by campus PD.
Briggs gives Joey a tour of the station. He points out the emergency line, which records all incoming calls: "usually just stolen bikes, loud parties, and the occasional fight with the townies." Joey asks what they do if it's something major like murder. Briggs replies that they call the city police.
Outside, Mac is waiting for Joey in the car. He's also starting an assignment that night: Phi Kappa Delta, Bill's fraternity. Mac always thought being in a fraternity would be a lot of fun. "Don't they make you do a buncha weird rituals like runnin' around town in your underpants with olives taped to your nipples?" Joey asks as he finishes a Twinkie that Mac had been eating. Gross.
Mac tells Joey that only pledges have to do that stuff. He bought a Phi Kappa Delta pin at a pawn shop and will be posing as an active brother who's transferring from another school. At the Phi Kappa Delta house, the boys are playing poker with cookies as poker chips. Mac is introduced to the chapter president, who just so happens to be Bill. They explain that they're using cookies because Dave lost the poker chips.
After the game, Mac goes to the Chapel with his winnings. Mac thinks it'll be hard to disprove Bill's alibi; he had a receipt for the beer. The liquor store Bill went to is known for not carding people.
Back at the Phi Kappa Delta house, Mac works on his transfer application. He doesn't know what to put down as his major; his major at Syracuse is undeclared. Bill advises him to pick a major that's not crowded. Bill himself is majoring in history and plans to go to law school. Another brother tells Bill that he has a phone call. He implies to Mac that Bill's seat at law school is bought and paid for by his rich daddy.
At the library, Terry calls campus PD. She's been waiting over half an hour for someone to come walk her back to her dorm. She agrees to wait longer and hangs up. Outside, Joey is writing a parking ticket for a car that practically parked inside the library. Meanwhile, Terry is furious because the volunteer escorts who turn up are Bill and one of his fraternity brothers.
Joey hears her screams and races to investigate. He pulls Bill off Terry and handcuffs him. Joey advises the other students present to stick around because they're all witnesses. Frat Boy #2 insists Bill didn't do anything. "What do you mean, he didn't do anything? He raped me!" shrieks Terry. Frat Boy #2 says Terry attacked Bill; Bill backs him up and there's a murmur of general agreement from the crowd. Terry can't believe it.
At campus PD, Briggs scolds Joey for handcuffing Bill. Officers aren't allowed to touch anybody and besides, "these kids aren't street trash! They're college students! Whatever happens is between them; let them sue each other."
In the dean's office, Judy informs the dean that she just took another message from Terry. The dean insists the school is doing everything they can to get Terry psychological counseling. She heard about the incident at the library and: "If he [Bill] raped her, why would he be stupid enough to go anywhere near her?" Judy thinks the dean is being unfair.
Mac talks to Bill about Terry. He insists Terry is crazy and obsessed with him. His dad's lawyer promised to take care of it.
Bill has a court hearing to get a restraining order against Terry. The female judge asks if Terry wants to hire her own attorney, but Terry declines. Terry admits to hitting Bill because he raped her two weeks earlier. The judge asks if Terry is pressing charges through the DA's office. Terry says no.
Bill's lawyer says Terry's statement demonstrates why the restraining order is necessary. Terry met Bill through the yearbook; he was the editor. Bill's lawyer asks if Terry had sexual fantasies about Bill, whether she has a steady boyfriend or dates casually. Terry doesn't have a boyfriend and last dated a month and a half ago. The lawyer asks if Terry had sex with said date; she did. The lawyer asks if they stopped dating because Terry wasn't sexually satisfied.
Terry, understandably, loses it: "You bastard! You know what he did! He raped me!" The judge sharply tells her to sit down and urges Terry to press charges against Bill. The judge grants the restraining order. Terry runs out of the courtroom in tears. Judy urges her not to give up on having Bill put in jail.
At the Chapel, Cap'n Rufus announces they're stopping their investigation. Terry isn't considered a victim anymore and there's no forensic evidence. Judy wants to stay undercover by herself. Fuller gives her half a day to end her cover.
In the frat house, Mac tells Bill that his transfer was denied so he's going back to Syracuse. Bill wishes him luck. Mac goes outside and talks to Dave. Dave drives a small convertible, but he can still transport two kegs by putting one in the trunk and one in the passenger seat. He did this the night that Bill was supposedly with him. Mac flashes his badge. Dave insists that Bill didn't rape Terry and will testify to that if he has to. Mac explains perjury to Dave and adds that he also has a case against Dave for aiding and abetting.
Bill is Dave's best friend, so Dave lied when the campus PD showed up at the fraternity house to question Bill. The captain got a call on the recorded emergency line while they were at the station and let them both go.
At campus PD, Joey finds the 911 tapes from the night of Terry's rape and gets ready to play them for Mac. Briggs orders Joey to put the tapes away. "I lied about droppin' outta the academy. I graduated!" Joey says brightly, producing his badge and a warrant. The tape is a conversation between Briggs and Dean Crane. Briggs wanted to do the right thing and hand the case off to city PD. Dean Crane says, "I know that boy. His father's given the university over $4 million. Bill Howard did not do this."
Briggs tells her it's not their job to decide guilt or innocence. "It is if you want to continue working here," Dean Crane threatens. Joey arrests Briggs and reads him his rights. Mac marches Bill out of the frat house and reads him his rights; Judy does the same to Dean Crane. The dean insists she only had the students' best interests at heart when she covered up Terry's rape.
Terry visits Judy at the rape crisis center to thank her. Terry is pressing charges against Bill and plans to testify at his trial. Another college-age girl comes in to report a rape. End of episode.
Case #5.11: "Number One With a Bullet"
In a small room in the courthouse, Doug loads his gun's magazine. He and an older man (presumably another cop) dress a ponytailed male witness in a bulletproof vest. Ponytail says he isn't scared of mobsters; Doug thinks the guy should be. They all go out in the hall to wait for the elevator. It's taking too long to arrive, so they walk to the other end of the hall.
Doug advises Ponytail to stay behind him with his head down when they get off the elevator. They're immediately swarmed by reporters shouting questions about the payola trial involving mobsters. "GUN!" Doug shouts as a suspicious man emerges from the crowd. The shooter fires and takes off with bailiffs close behind him. The older cop bends over Doug, who's lying motionless on the floor. Uh-oh...
Next we see of Doug, he's sitting against the wall, holding a handkerchief to his bleeding forehead. Cap'n Rufus firmly tells him to get that taken care of and helps Doug to his feet. "Just winged, I'm all right," Doug says a bit woozily. Cap'n Rufus tells Doug to go home for the day and spend some time with Clavo. Doug asks Rufus to forget his name the next time the state police want volunteers for special assignments. A blurb on the screen tells us this episode was directed by the man himself Peter DeLuise.
Doug, sitting in his truck outside, sees a strange woman walking up the street. She's holding Clavo's hand. "But I want my Uncle Doug," the kid protests, "He told me to never go anywhere with people I don't know." The woman reassures Clavo by saying she's a social worker. Doug approaches the woman, asking, "What's going on? That's my kid." The social worker doesn't acknowledge that he's even there. Given the odd haze around everything, I bet Doug is having an out-of-body experience, Bruce Willis style. Clavo pipes up from the backseat that he wants Uncle Doug.
I'm right. Doug is in the hospital hooked to a ventilator. Joey and Clavo are standing by his bedside. Clavo asks what people think about when they're in a coma; Joey doesn't know, but maybe Doug is dreaming. Clavo wonders when he'll wake up. A female doctor comes in the room and asks to speak to Joey in private. Clavo holds Doug's hand.
In the hallway, the doctor asks Joey, "Mr. Penhall, can your parents be reached?" Joey tells her that they're orphans. The doctor explains that Doug's brain is swelling dangerously, which could kill him; there's a possibility he'll die during the surgery needed to relieve the pressure. Joey looks scared: "You're saying that either way he could die, that I have to decide?" The doctor says yes; Joey is, after all, next of kin.
Joey wants time to think about it. The doctor wants to do the operation within the next 24 hours if that's the option Joey chooses.
In Cap'n Rufus's office, Judy asks what happened to the DJ who witnessed Doug getting shot. The DJ went home and is now refusing to testified. In fact, no radio station employee in the area acknowledges the payola allegations. Mac is angry that Doug is in the hospital after trying to protect the DJ. Rufus will be sending Mac and Judy to a college radio station for a sting, even though it's not their jurisdiction. The case is now Extremely Personal.
Joey goes to see a priest. "I've never made an important decision in my life," he tells the man, "I always buy things in plaid 'cause I can never decide on one color." Doug always ran the house. Joey wishes he could talk to their father again despite the fact that Old Man Penhall was "usually so sauced he didn't even know who I was." He's afraid that if he makes the wrong decision "Doug will beat the crap outta me in hell."
The priest asks why Joey assumes he and his brother are both going to hell. Joey asks if the priest ever actually hears God; if he sits in the church long enough, will Joey know what to do about Doug? The priest advises Joey to listen to his heart. "I'd rather listen to God," says Joey, "I came all the way over here in crosstown traffic." "God speaks to us through our hearts," the priest explains.
At the college radio station, Mac is DJing and Judy is posing as the station manager. A guy comes in asking for the manager, saying he's an independent promoter. Judy claims the flowers in the office are from a record label in New York, attempted bribery to get their songs played. Mr. Wells the promoter chuckles that some people have no sense of professionalism. He has a tape by a band called X Ray Gorillas. Judy doesn't think much of the band and won't play it.
Mr. Wells offers to buy her dinner. Judy says no. Mr. Wells changes his tactic: "Play this tape if you wanna stay healthy." Judy orders him out of the office.
Joey drops Clavo off at school. The kid is upset about being late; Doug always gets him there on time. Joey apologizes. He didn't know it was so hard to make a left turn near the school. "Doug always takes the back way," says Clavo. This is starting to remind of the Two and a Half Men episode where Alan and Charlie were left in charge of Jake for a week. Clavo wants to go to the hospital. Joey promises to come pick the kid up if Doug has an operation.
Joey starts to walk to the truck. Clavo calls after him that Doug always watches until Clavo gets up the school steps, then they wave at each other and Doug leaves. Joey is sorry. He should've stayed anyway because there aren't any teachers outside. Joey doesn't know about the routines Clavo and Doug have; he wishes he did. If something happens to Doug, Clavo will have to be more patient with him. "Okay," Clavo agrees.
In his coma dream, Doug is wearing his suit from court. He gets out of his bed, which is in the middle of a golf course for some reason. Cap'n Rufus is there. Doug is glad to see him. "Everyone always says that," Rufus says serenely. Doug thinks he was more than just winged and wonders where he is. Rufus tells Doug to relax and enjoy the club, then he claims to be Saint Peter. Doug asks if he's on Candid Camera.
Rufus tells Doug he'll be in the clubhouse when Doug finishes walking the grounds. At the closest hole, Doug sees an older man unsuccessfully attempting to whack a ball out of a sandtrap; the last person he saw golf so badly was his father. "What the hell?" asks Doug, realizing it is his dad. Papa Penhall corrects that they're in purgatory.
"How can you be talkin' to me? You're dead!" Doug cries. Papa Penhall grouches, "Don't rub it in." Doug asks if he's dead and in purgatory too. "I got my own problems," says Papa Penhall, who clearly subscribed to the John Winchester method of parenting. Doug says, "Just like when you were alive."
Papa Penhall tells Doug to let his selfishness be a lesson. Doug doesn't think his old man is in any position to give advice on fatherhood.
A horn honks in the distance. It's Doug's dead wife Marta, driving a golf cart. Doug kisses Marta, telling her how he much he's missed her. He gets in the golf cart and says, "You look good for havin' been dead 2 years." Marta ignores this: "You were supposed to be taking care of Clavo. This is what will become of him." Clavo is playing on a tire swing when a social worker and an INS agent arrive. "You can't take him back to El Salvador!" Doug shouts desperately, "His aunt's an enemy of the government! They killed her 2 years ago!"
Doug's headache gets so bad that he collapses on the ground. Marta holds him.
Joey and Clavo come to the hospital to say goodbye before Doug's surgery. Clavo kisses his fingertips and gently touches them to Doug's forehead. Joey leans down and says, "I was just getting to know you again." Doug is wheeled into the operating room.
At the radio station, Mr. Wells successfully bribes Mac into playing the X Ray Gorillas tape. Mac will see him when the promoter has the rest of the money. Mr. Wells leaves. Mac asks Judy how Doug is, but she doesn't know. Doug not being around is hard on her because they've known each other and worked together for 5 years.
In the waiting room, Clavo tugs on Joey's shirt. He's tired and wants to go home. "But Doug might wake up," Joey tells him. He promises to see what he can do.
Back at Club Coma, Cap'n Rufus waylays Doug at the clubhouse entrance and says he can't let Doug in. Doug explains that he needs to use the phone; INS has Clavo. Rufus still refuses. Doug isn't on the list of new members; he needs to walk the grounds some more. Rufus cautions that some people never get into the clubhouse. Doug asks if he's going to hell. "You're asking all the wrong questions," says Cap'n Rufus. Doug pleads that Clavo needs him. "All the more reason to remember everything you see here," says Rufus before disappearing.
Doug spots a woman gardening at the 18th hole. "Douglas James," she greets. It's Mama Penhall. Doug asks if having to keep the grounds with a pair of cuticle scissors is Mama Penhall's punishment for committing suicide when he and Joey were kids. "The hell was being away from you boys," she corrects.
Mama Penhall remarks that Doug has gotten mouthy. Doug tells her it was the only way he could keep Papa Penhall from walking on him. She tenderly reaches for her son's forehead, asking, "Did you hurt yourself?" Doug wishes she'd stuck around. "Just don't make the same mistake with your boy," says Mama Penhall. She places her hands on Doug's head. When she lets go, the bandage is no longer there. Doug floats away.
When Doug opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Joey napping in a chair by his bed. "Joey," he murmurs. His brother can't hear him because Joey is asleep and snoring; he also has a stethoscope in his ears for some reason. Doug says, "Thanks for waiting up for me," then he loudly calls, "Joey!" Joey looks over. "Hey, ya little runt," says Doug.
Joey is ecstatic. Doug asks about Clavo. Joey assures him that Clavo is home with the babysitter. "No, no, something's wrong," Doug insists, "He would be here. You were never good at lying to me." Joey explains that Clavo is scared that Doug will die. He doesn't want to see Doug, even if Doug lives.
"He saw an ad on TV for foster parents," Joey hesitantly goes on, "He wants me to find him a new home." The big guy is close to tears. And so am I! What an episode!
Later, with the aid of a gait belt and a walker, Joey gets Doug into a chair. Doug asks him to send Clavo in. When the kid arrives, Doug asks how he's doing. Clavo shrugs. Doug is glad Clavo came to see him; Clavo must be angry with him. "I'm not," says Clavo, "Everybody at school says that you're a hero."
Doug modestly says he's not a hero. He admits he would've been angry if his own dad's job had involved being shot at. Clavo walks up to the chair and confesses to being real mad at his uncle. Doug sits Clavo on his lap and says he has news: "I think it's better for both of us if..."
Joey is in the hall drinking a soda and wanders past Doug's room. He catches the tail end of the conversation, Doug promising to do what he has to in order to make Clavo happy. "Things sure look a lot better since I left," Joey remarks. He asks if this story will end happily ever after. Doug thinks so.
Mr. Wells comes to the radio station with more bribe money. Mac and Judy reveal that they're cops. They have the payola conversation on tape. Judy and Mac have a good cop/bad cop conversation. Mac wants 5 minutes alone with Mr. Wells. Judy says that if Mr. Wells gets disabled, she wants her name off the arrest report. Mac promises not to do permanent damage. Mr. Wells agrees to give up the shooter. It was a guy from Miami named Levinson. When the squad car arrives, Mac laughs triumphantly.
The Jump Street team, minus Joey, gathers in Cap'n Rufus's office. Doug thanks them for finding the guy who shot him. He has something to say before their morning meeting. Doug is taking early retirement. He turns in his badge and gun, saying it's been an honor to serve with everyone. Nobody knows what to say.
Cap'n Rufus breaks the silence by saying he has a rule against saying goodbye and is leaving for an early lunch. Doug shakes his hand. Mac wishes he could've worked with Doug longer. Doug already has a new job, partial ownership of a bowling alley with an academy buddy. They do a complicated handshake. Mac leaves.
Doug is now alone in the office with Judy. He tells her they've been through a lot together, personally and professionally. They joke about how Doug still can't program his VCR, even though Judy showed him how and even drew a diagram. "On my worst day, you can still make me laugh," she says, "I really hate you for leaving. I hate you." "I hate you too," Doug says softly.
At this point, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. They share a platonic hug. Judy cries.
Up in the locker room, Joey practically tosses a duffel bag loaded with Doug's locker contents at him. "You always said that I ran out, that I quit. Look at you," Joey snots. Doug reminds him that it's not just about him anymore; he has to look after Clavo. Joey says the two of them would've been fine together.
"I love you, Joey, but you could barely keep the two o' you in clean socks," Doug disagrees. Joey pouts: "You can't leave. You're my brother." Doug tells Joey to man up. He adds that Joey can "drive down on weekends between commendations." Joey feels like he was just getting to know Doug again after 5 years apart. "I'm always gonna be your brother," Doug tells him.
"Uncle Doug!" Clavo chirps, running in. Doug picks up Clavo so he can kiss Joey on the cheek. "I have to kiss you now?" Joey sasses his brother. Doug takes off his St. Michael medal and gives it to Joey. Joey tries to decline the gift; Doug was almost never without it. "It's good luck. Mom would've wanted you to have it," Doug insists. End of episode, end of an era for the show. I'm gonna miss Doug!
Doug advises Ponytail to stay behind him with his head down when they get off the elevator. They're immediately swarmed by reporters shouting questions about the payola trial involving mobsters. "GUN!" Doug shouts as a suspicious man emerges from the crowd. The shooter fires and takes off with bailiffs close behind him. The older cop bends over Doug, who's lying motionless on the floor. Uh-oh...
Next we see of Doug, he's sitting against the wall, holding a handkerchief to his bleeding forehead. Cap'n Rufus firmly tells him to get that taken care of and helps Doug to his feet. "Just winged, I'm all right," Doug says a bit woozily. Cap'n Rufus tells Doug to go home for the day and spend some time with Clavo. Doug asks Rufus to forget his name the next time the state police want volunteers for special assignments. A blurb on the screen tells us this episode was directed by the man himself Peter DeLuise.
Doug, sitting in his truck outside, sees a strange woman walking up the street. She's holding Clavo's hand. "But I want my Uncle Doug," the kid protests, "He told me to never go anywhere with people I don't know." The woman reassures Clavo by saying she's a social worker. Doug approaches the woman, asking, "What's going on? That's my kid." The social worker doesn't acknowledge that he's even there. Given the odd haze around everything, I bet Doug is having an out-of-body experience, Bruce Willis style. Clavo pipes up from the backseat that he wants Uncle Doug.
I'm right. Doug is in the hospital hooked to a ventilator. Joey and Clavo are standing by his bedside. Clavo asks what people think about when they're in a coma; Joey doesn't know, but maybe Doug is dreaming. Clavo wonders when he'll wake up. A female doctor comes in the room and asks to speak to Joey in private. Clavo holds Doug's hand.
In the hallway, the doctor asks Joey, "Mr. Penhall, can your parents be reached?" Joey tells her that they're orphans. The doctor explains that Doug's brain is swelling dangerously, which could kill him; there's a possibility he'll die during the surgery needed to relieve the pressure. Joey looks scared: "You're saying that either way he could die, that I have to decide?" The doctor says yes; Joey is, after all, next of kin.
Joey wants time to think about it. The doctor wants to do the operation within the next 24 hours if that's the option Joey chooses.
In Cap'n Rufus's office, Judy asks what happened to the DJ who witnessed Doug getting shot. The DJ went home and is now refusing to testified. In fact, no radio station employee in the area acknowledges the payola allegations. Mac is angry that Doug is in the hospital after trying to protect the DJ. Rufus will be sending Mac and Judy to a college radio station for a sting, even though it's not their jurisdiction. The case is now Extremely Personal.
Joey goes to see a priest. "I've never made an important decision in my life," he tells the man, "I always buy things in plaid 'cause I can never decide on one color." Doug always ran the house. Joey wishes he could talk to their father again despite the fact that Old Man Penhall was "usually so sauced he didn't even know who I was." He's afraid that if he makes the wrong decision "Doug will beat the crap outta me in hell."
The priest asks why Joey assumes he and his brother are both going to hell. Joey asks if the priest ever actually hears God; if he sits in the church long enough, will Joey know what to do about Doug? The priest advises Joey to listen to his heart. "I'd rather listen to God," says Joey, "I came all the way over here in crosstown traffic." "God speaks to us through our hearts," the priest explains.
At the college radio station, Mac is DJing and Judy is posing as the station manager. A guy comes in asking for the manager, saying he's an independent promoter. Judy claims the flowers in the office are from a record label in New York, attempted bribery to get their songs played. Mr. Wells the promoter chuckles that some people have no sense of professionalism. He has a tape by a band called X Ray Gorillas. Judy doesn't think much of the band and won't play it.
Mr. Wells offers to buy her dinner. Judy says no. Mr. Wells changes his tactic: "Play this tape if you wanna stay healthy." Judy orders him out of the office.
Joey drops Clavo off at school. The kid is upset about being late; Doug always gets him there on time. Joey apologizes. He didn't know it was so hard to make a left turn near the school. "Doug always takes the back way," says Clavo. This is starting to remind of the Two and a Half Men episode where Alan and Charlie were left in charge of Jake for a week. Clavo wants to go to the hospital. Joey promises to come pick the kid up if Doug has an operation.
Joey starts to walk to the truck. Clavo calls after him that Doug always watches until Clavo gets up the school steps, then they wave at each other and Doug leaves. Joey is sorry. He should've stayed anyway because there aren't any teachers outside. Joey doesn't know about the routines Clavo and Doug have; he wishes he did. If something happens to Doug, Clavo will have to be more patient with him. "Okay," Clavo agrees.
In his coma dream, Doug is wearing his suit from court. He gets out of his bed, which is in the middle of a golf course for some reason. Cap'n Rufus is there. Doug is glad to see him. "Everyone always says that," Rufus says serenely. Doug thinks he was more than just winged and wonders where he is. Rufus tells Doug to relax and enjoy the club, then he claims to be Saint Peter. Doug asks if he's on Candid Camera.
Rufus tells Doug he'll be in the clubhouse when Doug finishes walking the grounds. At the closest hole, Doug sees an older man unsuccessfully attempting to whack a ball out of a sandtrap; the last person he saw golf so badly was his father. "What the hell?" asks Doug, realizing it is his dad. Papa Penhall corrects that they're in purgatory.
"How can you be talkin' to me? You're dead!" Doug cries. Papa Penhall grouches, "Don't rub it in." Doug asks if he's dead and in purgatory too. "I got my own problems," says Papa Penhall, who clearly subscribed to the John Winchester method of parenting. Doug says, "Just like when you were alive."
Papa Penhall tells Doug to let his selfishness be a lesson. Doug doesn't think his old man is in any position to give advice on fatherhood.
A horn honks in the distance. It's Doug's dead wife Marta, driving a golf cart. Doug kisses Marta, telling her how he much he's missed her. He gets in the golf cart and says, "You look good for havin' been dead 2 years." Marta ignores this: "You were supposed to be taking care of Clavo. This is what will become of him." Clavo is playing on a tire swing when a social worker and an INS agent arrive. "You can't take him back to El Salvador!" Doug shouts desperately, "His aunt's an enemy of the government! They killed her 2 years ago!"
Doug's headache gets so bad that he collapses on the ground. Marta holds him.
Joey and Clavo come to the hospital to say goodbye before Doug's surgery. Clavo kisses his fingertips and gently touches them to Doug's forehead. Joey leans down and says, "I was just getting to know you again." Doug is wheeled into the operating room.
At the radio station, Mr. Wells successfully bribes Mac into playing the X Ray Gorillas tape. Mac will see him when the promoter has the rest of the money. Mr. Wells leaves. Mac asks Judy how Doug is, but she doesn't know. Doug not being around is hard on her because they've known each other and worked together for 5 years.
In the waiting room, Clavo tugs on Joey's shirt. He's tired and wants to go home. "But Doug might wake up," Joey tells him. He promises to see what he can do.
Back at Club Coma, Cap'n Rufus waylays Doug at the clubhouse entrance and says he can't let Doug in. Doug explains that he needs to use the phone; INS has Clavo. Rufus still refuses. Doug isn't on the list of new members; he needs to walk the grounds some more. Rufus cautions that some people never get into the clubhouse. Doug asks if he's going to hell. "You're asking all the wrong questions," says Cap'n Rufus. Doug pleads that Clavo needs him. "All the more reason to remember everything you see here," says Rufus before disappearing.
Doug spots a woman gardening at the 18th hole. "Douglas James," she greets. It's Mama Penhall. Doug asks if having to keep the grounds with a pair of cuticle scissors is Mama Penhall's punishment for committing suicide when he and Joey were kids. "The hell was being away from you boys," she corrects.
Mama Penhall remarks that Doug has gotten mouthy. Doug tells her it was the only way he could keep Papa Penhall from walking on him. She tenderly reaches for her son's forehead, asking, "Did you hurt yourself?" Doug wishes she'd stuck around. "Just don't make the same mistake with your boy," says Mama Penhall. She places her hands on Doug's head. When she lets go, the bandage is no longer there. Doug floats away.
When Doug opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Joey napping in a chair by his bed. "Joey," he murmurs. His brother can't hear him because Joey is asleep and snoring; he also has a stethoscope in his ears for some reason. Doug says, "Thanks for waiting up for me," then he loudly calls, "Joey!" Joey looks over. "Hey, ya little runt," says Doug.
Joey is ecstatic. Doug asks about Clavo. Joey assures him that Clavo is home with the babysitter. "No, no, something's wrong," Doug insists, "He would be here. You were never good at lying to me." Joey explains that Clavo is scared that Doug will die. He doesn't want to see Doug, even if Doug lives.
"He saw an ad on TV for foster parents," Joey hesitantly goes on, "He wants me to find him a new home." The big guy is close to tears. And so am I! What an episode!
Later, with the aid of a gait belt and a walker, Joey gets Doug into a chair. Doug asks him to send Clavo in. When the kid arrives, Doug asks how he's doing. Clavo shrugs. Doug is glad Clavo came to see him; Clavo must be angry with him. "I'm not," says Clavo, "Everybody at school says that you're a hero."
Doug modestly says he's not a hero. He admits he would've been angry if his own dad's job had involved being shot at. Clavo walks up to the chair and confesses to being real mad at his uncle. Doug sits Clavo on his lap and says he has news: "I think it's better for both of us if..."
Joey is in the hall drinking a soda and wanders past Doug's room. He catches the tail end of the conversation, Doug promising to do what he has to in order to make Clavo happy. "Things sure look a lot better since I left," Joey remarks. He asks if this story will end happily ever after. Doug thinks so.
Mr. Wells comes to the radio station with more bribe money. Mac and Judy reveal that they're cops. They have the payola conversation on tape. Judy and Mac have a good cop/bad cop conversation. Mac wants 5 minutes alone with Mr. Wells. Judy says that if Mr. Wells gets disabled, she wants her name off the arrest report. Mac promises not to do permanent damage. Mr. Wells agrees to give up the shooter. It was a guy from Miami named Levinson. When the squad car arrives, Mac laughs triumphantly.
The Jump Street team, minus Joey, gathers in Cap'n Rufus's office. Doug thanks them for finding the guy who shot him. He has something to say before their morning meeting. Doug is taking early retirement. He turns in his badge and gun, saying it's been an honor to serve with everyone. Nobody knows what to say.
Cap'n Rufus breaks the silence by saying he has a rule against saying goodbye and is leaving for an early lunch. Doug shakes his hand. Mac wishes he could've worked with Doug longer. Doug already has a new job, partial ownership of a bowling alley with an academy buddy. They do a complicated handshake. Mac leaves.
Doug is now alone in the office with Judy. He tells her they've been through a lot together, personally and professionally. They joke about how Doug still can't program his VCR, even though Judy showed him how and even drew a diagram. "On my worst day, you can still make me laugh," she says, "I really hate you for leaving. I hate you." "I hate you too," Doug says softly.
At this point, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. They share a platonic hug. Judy cries.
Up in the locker room, Joey practically tosses a duffel bag loaded with Doug's locker contents at him. "You always said that I ran out, that I quit. Look at you," Joey snots. Doug reminds him that it's not just about him anymore; he has to look after Clavo. Joey says the two of them would've been fine together.
"I love you, Joey, but you could barely keep the two o' you in clean socks," Doug disagrees. Joey pouts: "You can't leave. You're my brother." Doug tells Joey to man up. He adds that Joey can "drive down on weekends between commendations." Joey feels like he was just getting to know Doug again after 5 years apart. "I'm always gonna be your brother," Doug tells him.
"Uncle Doug!" Clavo chirps, running in. Doug picks up Clavo so he can kiss Joey on the cheek. "I have to kiss you now?" Joey sasses his brother. Doug takes off his St. Michael medal and gives it to Joey. Joey tries to decline the gift; Doug was almost never without it. "It's good luck. Mom would've wanted you to have it," Doug insists. End of episode, end of an era for the show. I'm gonna miss Doug!
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