An older man who's probably a gangster meets a younger, geeky man in a warehouse basement. Probable Gangster asks Geek for his pass key and office key, but doesn't say why he needs them. He tells Geek that his contract is being terminated. It seems Geek has made several calls recently to Agent Plum of the FBI. Geek blubbers that it's all a mistake. Probable Gangster tells his goons to make sure no one finds Geek's body. Gangster goes home and sits down to a nice dinner with his teenage daughter and their Golden Retriever.
At the Chapel, Cap'n Rufus' dart game against Mac is interrupted by the arrival of Agent Plum. The three go to Rufus' office. Gangster's name is Burnback and he's a major crack supplier. Burnback's organization is tightly knit so they can't get anyone undercover. Their only insider has disappeared. The only option left is to get at Burnback through his daughter Lisa. Plum thinks it'll be easy for Mac to win over Lisa. Hold up. Jump Street has two genuine Italian Stallions, but Mac is who they're going with?
"You want me to seduce this girl?" asks Mac, looking uncomfortable. Plum hastily points out that he never used those words. "I am not running a stud farm here," says Cap'n Rufus. With Big Penhall and Little Penhall on staff? I beg to differ. "Didn't you say your orders were to give me whatever I wanted?" asks Plum the weasel. He tells both Cap'n Rufus and Mac the importance of keeping this operation a total secret.
In a high school cafeteria, Mac quickly spots Lisa. She's a mousy blond in a white blouse and a yellow cardigan. He invites himself to sit with her. We learn her nickname is Mrs. Wizard after Mr. Wizard the TV science expert. She's embarrassed about rambling on about something so boring that it isn't worth repeating, hastily gathers her books, and leaves Mac sitting by himself.
Later that night on the street, Mac breaks up a dispute between a woman and a cabbie. The woman must know him because she calls him Mackie. He doesn't look happy to see her. Strangely, he still offers to let her stay in his apartment rather than a hotel. The yet to be named woman is having none of it. Mac asks if he can call her and take her to dinner while she's in town. She declines.
Mac thought he and the woman were friends. The woman reminds Mac that he dumped her. Mac argues that she dumped him. Mac suggests she leave her job as an ad agent for a food company in Newark and move here. It's safer than Newark and less expensive. This whole setup is confusing and ridiculous. The woman, Samantha, goes to the desk to check in. The clerk apologizes; conveniently, they don't have a room for her because she missed the check-in time and her room was given to someone else. There's an electronics convention in town so all the area hotels have no vacancies.
Mac takes Samantha to his tiny, messy apartment. He makes a lame joke about how the maid hasn't stopped by yet. Mac volunteers to sleep on the floor and let Samantha have the bed. Yet another in a long line of forced romantic interests...
Rufus gets phone call and has a cryptic one-sided conversation about Burnback. That night, Samantha comes out of the bathroom wearing a sports jersey belonging to Mac that she inexplicably still owns.
At school, Mac accidentally spills the spaghetti from his lunch tray all over Lisa's off-white blouse. He apologizes profusely and offers her his flannel shirt to wear. At the Chapel, Plum hears about the spaghetti incident and think Mac is trying to sabotage the investigation. He threatens to have Mac put back in a patrol uniform.
At home, Mac is going a few rounds with a punching bag wearing a wifebeater when Samantha comes home. Samantha needs to change out of her business suit and tells him not to turn around. What's wrong with, gee, I don't know, changing clothes in the bathroom? Mac vents his frustrations about Plum. When he turns around, Samantha is wearing a very short silky bathrobe. Mac goes on about missing this woman and the deep love he still has for her, both of which he has literally never mentioned up until this episode.
They both open their hearts about how meaningless big promotions and successful careers are without someone to share them with. They have the classic "we should stop" conversation which of course devolves into making out. Later, while in search of a midnight snack, Samantha finds Lisa's stained blouse in a bag on the kitchen counter.
Cue the freakout. She wakes Mac up by pulling his hair and yelling at him. He needs to just kick this crazy, abusive bitch out of his apartment. He tells Samantha that he's not allowed to talk about the details of the case, but the blouse is work-related. Mac reveals that they used to be engaged. He wants to take her out for a nice seafood dinner the next night, even though she's clearly fricking nuts.
At school, Mac gives Lisa her clean blouse. Lisa returns his flannel. Mac wants to make up for the spilled food by taking her out for dinner. Lisa can't because her family eats dinner every night at 6:30 together. She invites him to come over for dinner that night.
Back at his apartment, Mac dresses in a shirt and tie. He apologizes to Samantha for not being able to take her out. He now has to have dinner with a suspect. "Must be a very pretty suspect," Samantha snipes. Seriously, what is wrong with her? First she didn't want anything to do with him, then they have sex, and now she's incredibly jealous. Run, Mac, run! Mac promises to take her out the next night. Psycho Samantha wants to cook for him instead.
Mac is awed by the size of Lisa's house. Lisa says her father is a cotton importer. Burnback approves of the fact that Mac turns down a beer and that Mac doesn't use drugs. Burnback wouldn't like it if a boy involved in illicit things dated Lisa. Har har har.
After dinner, Mac suggests to Lisa that they go to dinner again, this time alone. Lisa's parents are going out the next night and they'd have the whole house to themselves; she offers to cook. Mac agrees to come over.
Psycho Sam gripes that there's no food in Mac's apartment except frozen dinners. Mac advises her to get used to those if she wants to live with him. Psycho Sam reminds him that one of them would have to relocate for that to happen. Mac can't go back to Newark. That's okay, though, Psycho Sam miraculously got an interview with a local ketchup company. They kiss and there's a plate of alfredo in Mac's hand.
Cut to Mac at Lisa's house looking like he feels a bit ill. Lisa wants to take him on the grand tour, starting with the bedroom. Lisa shows him a souvenir of Dad's trip to Africa: a black leopard skin on top of her comforter. "I've always wondered what it would be like to make love on it," Lisa says bluntly, "Actually, I've always wondered what it would be like to make love anywhere."
Mac wants to see the rest of the house. "Let's stay here," breathes Lisa, putting a hand on his chest. Mac looks desperately uncomfortable. Now might be a good time to puke all over the carpet. Lisa assures him that her parents won't be home for hours. She's been waiting to lose her virginity to someone she's in love with.
Mac goes to Plum and demands to be taken off the case: "I'm messing with this girl's head and it's not right." Plum says that Burnback dealing crack isn't right either. Mac doesn't care whether he loses his job or gets busted back to patrol. Plum points out that Lisa could be involved her father's crack business. Cap'n Rufus says to Plum, "Mac is off the case when I say he's off."
In the office, Mac tells Cap'n Rufus that Lisa asked to have sex with him. Mac got out of it by saying he wasn't feeling well (given how much he ate, that was probably true). He thinks Lisa is a good kid and doesn't want to hurt her. Cap'n Rufus thinks hurting Lisa's feelings is a sacrifice that may need to happen if they want to nail Burnback. However, he will take Mac off the case if that's what Mac wants. Mac agrees to stick it out.
In a restaurant lobby, Psycho Sam tells Mac that miraculously, the job with the ketchup company is hers if she wants it. They kiss. "Tony?" says a voice behind them. It's Lisa and she's with her parents. Lisa gives Mac a hard slap in the face. "I thought I made it clear that nobody hurts my daughter," growls Burnback.
Mac tells Psycho Sam that this isn't what it looks like. Psycho Sam slaps Mac in the face. People waiting for tables audibly gasp.
Back at the apartment, Psycho Sam throws clothes in her suitcase. Mac explains that Burnback is a drug smuggler he's trying to nail. She accuses Mac of trying to nail Lisa too. Mac didn't ask for the assignment. Lisa was the only way into Burnback's inner circle. He wishes he had more time to explain, but "now I have to deal with an angry drug dealer who probably wants me dead." Mac inexplicably wants Psycho Sam to stay. He leaves. "Be careful," she whispers as the door closes.
Mac tells Cap'n Rufus and Plum that he thinks the case is blown. Mac hasn't seen or heard anything they could use as probable cause to arrest Burnback for drugs or any other crime. Suddenly, Mac gets an idea: "Do you know if the black leopard is an endangered species?" Plum looks pleased; it's illegal to import furs of endangered species.
The police and the FBI raid Burnback's house and business. They confiscate the black leopard skin and a fur coat, but don't find any drugs. Mac doesn't think they should mess up Lisa's life until they have a better reason than furs. They're about to leave the warehouse when Cap'n Rufus finds a big tube of crack hidden inside a bolt of fabric. Cap'n Rufus arrests Burnback. Lisa starts to cry and scream. Shockingly, she lets Mac hold her.
Mac goes back home to Psycho Sam. He tells her that they busted Burnback. He notices Psycho Sam's bags are packed. Mac wonders if she's still upset about Lisa. Psycho Sam doesn't think she can juggle both their careers and their relationship. She can't live with a guy who pretends he's in high school and seduces other women.
Mac points out that he doesn't always have to seduce women or pretend to be a teenager. Psycho Sam can't handle the lifestyle that comes with being a cop. Before she leaves, Psycho Sam says, "I love you, Mackie. I always will." "Me too," he says sadly. End of episode.