Case #5.20: "Wasted"

Yet another Mac-centric storyline. This one has him undercover with a football team to investigate extortion and the illegal dumping of toxic waste near a high school. How are these things even thematically related? I have a strong dislike for Mac, so I don't even wanna find out.

Case #5.19: "Crossfire"

On a sleazy downtown street, Judy is working undercover as a prostitute. A john offers her $50 for sex. Judy tells him to meet her in an alley. Mac tries to head the guy off, but the john knocks him down. There's a brief foot chase during which the guy almost gets hit by a semi. Mac arrests the john. Theme song.

Judy is still wearing her hooker garb as she stands in her boyfriend's bedroom. He comes in with a breakfast tray, but Judy seems more interested in sucking on his face. Judy puts on her coat just as a voice squeaks, "I'm late for school." It's her boyfriend's daughter Christa. The boyfriend tells Christa the school bus won't be here for another couple of hours. Run along downstairs, kid, and Daddy will make breakfast. Judy regrets not leaving before Christa got up.

Downstairs, Christa has spilled her milk. Judy's boyfriend says she has to use plastic cups from now on. But Mommy lets her use real glasses. Daddy doesn't care; his house, his rules. He arranges a lunch date with Judy. Christa chirps that Mommy left a message on the answering machine. Daddy reminds Christa that she's not supposed to talk about her mom in front of Judy. It could ruin the future he's planning with Judy. He even takes it a step further: "Mommy doesn't exist, especially not in front of Judy." I bet he's still married to Mommy...

Mac and Judy arrive at the Chapel. Cap'n Rufus informs them that the D.A. threw out the case of the john from yesterday. Judy can't believe it. The john is claiming entrapment. Rufus hopes they were both wired so they can clear this up, but Judy couldn't have worn a wire with her sexy lingerie. Judy thinks the john running is proof enough of his guilt. Judy's boyfriend Josh arrives with roses to take her to lunch. He asks if she can drive; his car was towed. Josh shrugs that he must've parked in a red zone. "Must have," says Cap'n Rufus, giving him the stink eye. 

Judy wants a word in the captain's office. She asks why Rufus doesn't like Josh. Rufus thinks he comes up with too many stories. Last week, he wanted to use Judy's mailing address. Judy argues that he's trying to start a business. Cap'n Rufus asks if Judy's ever heard of sweetheart swindlers. We call those catfish nowadays. Judy says she's too smart to fall for that. Rufus hopes she's right.

Judy and Josh go to a very nice restaurant. He wonders why Cap'n Rufus doesn't like him. Judy says Rufus is just protective. All that matters is she likes him. Josh says there are other considerations for their future, like his daughter. He's only been divorced for 6 months and claims he can't remember anything before he met Judy. Judy points out that they've only been seeing each other 2 months.

Judy suggests that they invite Cap'n Rufus to dinner so he can get to know Josh. The waitress comes to let Josh know that his credit card was declined. She called the credit card company and was told to destroy the card. Judy gives the waitress her card. Josh explains that his ex-business partner likes to cancel his credit cards at random. He hired a lawyer, but this kind of crime is hard to prove. 

Judy says she can deal with anything except lies. Josh insists he's not lying. They leave the restaurant. Judy's bouquet is still lying on the table.

Back at the Chapel, Judy is served with a subpoena. Robert the john has filed a civil suit against her for entrapment. Judy can't afford a private attorney to fight the charges. She won't get any help from the police union because it's not a criminal case.

At Josh's, he can't believe Judy has to pay for her own defense plus court costs. Josh starts giving her a leg massage to loosen her up. They kiss. Christa is asleep, so Judy suggests taking the party to the bedroom. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. It turns out to be a police officer; Josh is being arrested for kidnapping. 

Another officer carries Christa out of the bedroom. Judy tells Josh not to resist arrest. He tells Judy where to find his lawyer's phone number. He also needs bail money.

When Judy picks Josh up from jail, his ex-wife Yvonne is there with Christa in tow. Yvonne says she's heard a lot about Judy from her daughter. Josh wants to talk to Judy tomorrow. Judy will think about it; she wants a check to repay her for bail. Yvonne promises Christa she'll see her dad on his nights. Josh argues that it was his night.

Outside, Josh says Yvonne asked him to watch Christa that night. Judy tells Josh she can't handle the stories anymore. He insists Yvonne is setting him up; it's been a bitter custody battle. Yvonne is also the person who's been canceling his credit cards. He was just trying to protect her from his crazy ex. Judy repeats that she wants a check for bail.

In a conference room, Judy is getting ready to sit down with her lawyer, Robert, and his lawyer. Cap'n Rufus got Judy's lawyer to work pro bono. Judy can't believe Robert's suing her for $250,000. Her lawyer explains there's no limit for punitive damages. Robert is a wedding photographer and has been dropped by several clients since the arrest. 

Judy is worried; she'd have to sell her house to make that payout. Her lawyer describes Robert's lawyer as "the best trial attorney I ever lost to": Yvonne. As in Josh's ex. Yvonne enters with her client and says she has a few questions for Judy.

Later, Judy asks if it's a conflict of interest for Yvonne to be representing Robert given her history with Yvonne's ex-husband. "If you wanna get rid of the conflict, you quit dating the man," says Cap'n Rufus. Judy doesn't want to do that. Enter Judy's lawyer, telling her how unprofessional it looks for her to walk out of a deposition. He's not pleased to learn that Judy is dating Yvonne's ex; he didn't want a guaranteed loser of a case. Cap'n Rufus sends Judy back to her deposition. Alan the lawyer says they need to find a witness to Robert's arrest. They already have one: Mac.

Mac goes downtown and pumps a watch thief for information. Mac remembers seeing a teen prostitute when Judy made the bust, "a country club type". He needs to know how to find her. Her name is Blair and she's a private school student who takes the bus into the city to turn tricks. I'm sure that extracurricular would look great on an Ivy League application. The watch thief thinks Mac is good-looking enough that Blair would approach him.

In Josh's living room, he and Judy have finished putting up a pup tent. Judy asks if he's sure he doesn't want a Club Med vacation instead. Josh is concerned about Judy's upcoming hearing. Christa pipes up that Mommy said she's working with Judy. Judy tells the little girl it's not a good idea to talk about it. To change the subject, she brightly suggests going out for hot chocolate and dessert.

While Judy helps the little girl into her coat, Christa says Mommy was gonna give Judy wishes. Judy isn't sure what that means. "Um, one was you will wish you never knew Daddy," the kid says shyly. Josh, oblivious, asks if his favorite girls are ready to go.

At the hearing, the judge is none other than Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files. Yvonne points out that Judy hadn't made a bust in 5 weeks and was below the department's quota, implying that she wrongly accused Robert of solicitation to get her numbers up. Judy tells her that she doesn't have quotas. Robert approached her first and Judy didn't mention a specific sex act. 

Yvonne dredges up the time Judy dated a married man who she then successfully sued for sexual harassment. Judy didn't even know Marcus was married. Judy's lawyer Alan objects; this has nothing to do with the current case. Yvonne also asks about the time Judy was raped. She brings this all up to prove Judy is biased against men and used her undercover role as prostitute to her advantage. Judy sasses, "You're just messing with me 'cause I'm seein' your man. Tell the judge."

Judge Smokey threatens to have Yvonne disbarred if he finds out she's prosecuting Judy for malicious prosecution. However, he does believe there's sufficient evidence to go to trial. Yvonne barely conceals her triumphant smirk.

At the Chapel, Judy frantically searches for her keys. Josh is supposedly at a business meeting; if she's 5 minutes late picking up Christa, it'll go in the custody papers. She tells Cap'n Rufus about Yvonne airing her rape and sexual harassment suit. Alan called Rufus about what happened in court and told him Judy is impossible to represent. He wants to see her the next morning. Judy leaves.

Mac tells Cap'n Rufus he's going to look for Blair. This time, he'll actually wear a wire like he was supposed to in the first place. Mac greets Blair when she gets off the bus and asks if she wants to party. Blair immediately makes him as a cop. Mac offers to make her more recent solicitation charge disappear if she agrees to testify about Judy and Robert. Blair doesn't think so.

"Well, then maybe I'll tell your parents where you're spending your school nights," Mac says evenly. Blair doubts he'd catch them at home; they're always in the Hamptons. She adds that her parents are the annual hosts of the policeman's ball.

When Judy arrives at Christa's kindergarten, Yvonne is already there. Judy is confused; she thought it was Josh's night. Yvonne hopes she wasn't too hard on Judy in court. What a joke. Judy sends Blair to the water fountain. She requests that Yvonne not use her daughter against her. As Dr. Phil always says, "Children should not be involved in adult issues."

Yvonne is very bitter. She was pregnant with Christa when Josh started his first business. As soon as it got profitable, he sold the company and divorced her. Yvonne is determined to keep him from getting custody of their daughter. When they were married, Josh always had a woman on the side. Josh can be convincing about his lies.

Josh's car wasn't towed recently; it was repossessed. Yvonne is sure Judy is driving him around until he gets it out of impound. She asks why Josh said he couldn't pick Christa up. She guesses it was an unexpected important business meeting.

Judy brings Christa home. Josh is getting ready to make dinner for three with a wok. Christa goes upstairs to take a bath. Judy asks where Josh's meeting was. He claims it was on the west side of town and that he made enough money to start a college fund for Christa.

"Enough to get your car out of hock?" asks Judy. She lets him know that Yvonne told her everything. Josh lies that Yvonne stops payments on his checks to the finance company. Judy confronts him about his mistresses. Josh swears he never cheated.

Judy feels like he's playing games, which he totally is. Josh starts in with the "oh, baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" garbage. Everyone is wrong about him. Judy walks out while Josh runs Christa's bath.

In their meeting, Alan tells Judy not to have another outburst. He suggests she break it off with Josh until the case is over. Rumor has it Yvonne dumped him for his career and keeps using Christa as ammunition against him. Judy wouldn't be the first relationship she's ruined. 

At the Chapel, Cap'n Rufus and Mac play darts. Judy is talking to her real estate agent. Even though she bought her house just last year, it's not worth anywhere close to $250,000. Judy gets hostile enough that the realtor hangs up. Cap'n Rufus quietly reminds Mac that Judy's house is literally riding on Blair's testimony. The girl better show up.

Mac takes Blair out for hot dogs. He tells her about Judy, not much older than Blair but without the rich parents. She worked hard to buy her little house and could lose it if Blair refuses to testify.

Yvonne asks if it's true Judy suggested a specific sex act to Robert. Alan objects to how Yvonne is phrasing her questions. "No more wordplay," Judge Smokey tells her. Judy denies approaching Robert first. Yvonne claims Judy had personal and professional reasons to entrap Robert. Alan requests a recess and is shot down by Judge Smokey.

Enter Mac and Blair. The teen is still in her hooker garb. Alan's request to confer with his material witness is granted. He asks to put her on the stand. Yvonne wants to talk to Judge Smokey in chambers first. 

That night, Judy sits at her desk looking over the real estate section of the newspaper. Josh comes in and congratulates her on winning the case. He got them theater tickets to celebrate. Then they can go back to his house. Judy doesn't think that's a good idea; Yvonne will twist their relationship during custody hearings. She wants to do what's best for Christa.

Josh argues that Judy is good for both of them. They're letting Yvonne win if they break up. Judy asks who he'll blame if he loses Christa. Josh thinks they can pick things up after a long break from each other. Judy doesn't think so. She wishes it could have been, but doesn't sound like she means it.

The next morning, Mac comes in disheveled. Cap'n Rufus asks if he enjoyed the policeman's ball. In exchange for her testimony, Mac went as Blair's date to piss off her rich, uptight parents. He tries and fails to hide a huge hickey on his neck. Mac explains. He danced with Blair's mother and she asked if he's ever seen a little movie called The Graduate. Cougar alert! Blair's mother then gave him a hickey along with her phone number. When Mac calls, he's supposed to ask for Mrs. Robinson.

"You just be glad you gotta outta there alive," chuckles Cap'n Rufus. Mac isn't sure how to tend his wound. Judy offers up some of her concealer. End of episode.