Case #1.12: "16 Blown to 35"

A SWAT team arrives to raid a crack house. The plainclothes detective finds a female junkie sitting in a bedroom and recognizes her as Lacy King the porn star. She's led out in handcuffs.

At police headquarters, Cap'n Rufus enters the interrogation room, where Lacy is smoking a cigarette. She remembers him from a case several years ago when the captain went undercover in the porn industry. Rufus wants to know how old Lacy is; she claims she's legal. Rufus thinks it's more likely she's only been legal for a short time. By his calculations, she started making porn when she was 15. Lacy says she was 14, which is somehow even sadder.

Cap'n Rufus is full of questions: Who started Lacy in the business? What happened to the feature film she was supposed to make? How long has she been doing crack? Lacy makes no comment except to pluck at her rat's-nest hair and ask, "You think anyone out there has a brush?" Rufus offers to let her walk on the crack bust. Lacy doesn't think he'd believe her if she told him how she ended up in porn.

At a mall, a runway has been set up in the atrium. Teenage boys and girls strut down it wearing the latest trends while the crew from Jump Street watches. An overhead banner reads "Teen Scene Fashion Show". A huge crowd is gathered in front of a table that's advertising the Teen Scene School of Modeling.

Mike Farris, the owner of the school, stands off to the side emceeing the show over a microphone. He's wearing a VERY garish suit. That would probably tip me off that he didn't really know about the world of fashion. He reminds the people watching that all the show's fashions can be purchased at stores in the mall. The kids could also be in one of these shows if they take his classes.

Judy, Harry, and Tom join the mob filling out forms to audition for the modeling school. Doug is still watching the fashion show, mesmerized by a slim, pretty blond in her mid-20s. She shows off a spaghetti-strap black dress with silver trim and a silver star on one hip. I kind of like it myself, actually.

In Cap'n Rufus's office, he's on the phone arguing with a guy named Frank about baseball tickets. He wants to be behind first base in a row with a single-digit number. He has a special out-of-town guest coming in, namely his 16-year-old son. Doug and Tom mouth the word "son?" at each other.

Rufus hangs up and asks what they learned at the fashion show. Judy wants to know more about his son. Tom didn't know Fuller was married. Of course, the captain is divorced. He shows Judy a picture of his son. His name is Kip after Rudyard Kipling; Rufus wanted to call him Hank, as in Aaron. Rufus brags that Kip is student council president and a great pitcher.

Cap'n Rufus abruptly switches back to business mode. Doug asks if they all really have to audition for Teen Scene School. According to Lacy, Mike Farris started her doing porn. Rufus wants him stopped. Tom doesn't think a crackhead like Lacy is the world's most reliable witness. Rufus concedes he could be right.

The gang joins a throng of teens, the number of which I'm pretty sure exceeds the fire code, at the Teen Scene School. Harry and Tom are wearing suits. Doug is sporting ripped jeans, a leather jacket, a motorcycle T-shirt, and a feather earring. Hey, bud, that earring's mine and I want it back :P Judy shows up in a casual black-and-white dress and has her headshot taken.

Later, Farris and the blond woman from the fashion show congratulate the chosen ones, although it's not entirely clear how they picked the group. Doug and Judy made the cut. Modeling classes are Saturdays only and the first 2 lessons are free. Oldest trick in the book to pressure people into making decisions. 

Teen Scene students will be eligible to participate in mall fashion shows. Farris says it could be the first step in a modeling career. Everyone looks excited, except of course Doug, who seems to be nodding off against a wall.

As they leave, Farris zeroes in on Judy. He says she's as special as the girls who model for a living. He invites two other prospective female students to join him and the blond model for coffee. 

Judy's onto him; he's feeding off the insecurities created by the fashion magazines that these girls have probably been buying since they first got an allowance. Doug enters the Chapel accompanied by a Rastafarian boy. He turns off the kid's boombox. Meanwhile, the kid's passing out sticks of something to everyone nearby, telling them to enjoy it with a friend.

Doug walks the kid over to his desk and sits him down. Doug caught him loitering, panhandling, and trying to sell people incense. "Not sellin', mon, givin'," the boy corrects him in an obviously fake Caribbean accent. Doug grabs the incense from him and asks for the boy's name. "Dread Della Della Day," he replies. Doug raises his eyebrows and mutters, "Ah, Doris's son."

Cap'n Rufus is upset because his son is missing. Kip never got on the plane and the airline doesn't know where he is. He's halfway through dialing the phone when he notices the kid with dreads. "Kip?" he says, shocked. Kip smiles. "Dad, mon! Happiness!" he cries. Harry, Doug, and Tom can't believe this is their conservative boss's son. Neither can I.

Kip sits cross-legged on the floor of his dad's office listening to reggae on his boombox. Cap'n Rufus turns the music off. Kip rattles on in Jamaican slang. Rufus wonders if he can speak English long enough to explain what happened. Kip has embraced the teachings of Marcus Garvey. Rufus asks if Marcus told Kip to wear a tablecloth and tie his hair in knots. To Kip, dreadlocks are antennae to the Lord.

Cap'n Rufus wants to know how his son got suckered into this, but he won't respond to the name Kip. "If you think I'm gonna call you Dread Della Della Day, then yo' antennae needs adjustin'," Rufus tells him. He thinks Kip's conversion is the result of a problem, maybe lingering trauma from the divorce.

I love how these shows always try to blame divorce. My parents split up when I was 11 years old. I loved both my parents equally, but it was a lot harder on my mom than it was on me. I don't remember crying about it; I knew this was the way things were gonna be and I couldn't change it.

Anyway, Kip swears he doesn't have a problem in the world since he found one love and a happiness inside. Cap'n Rufus just hangs his head and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Doug is stewing over the fact that he didn't blow the modeling audition; Farris thought Doug had "primitive appeal." Cap'n Rufus wants Doug to get together a list of students and cross-check their names with Vice. Judy's job is to let Farris know she'd do anything to become a model.

Rufus tells Doug and Judy about his problems with Kip. Doug suggests a Rasta-to-English dictionary. Judy thinks it's just a phase.

At the Teen Scene School, the students do a mock fashion shoot. Doug's dressed like Rambo and holding a fake M16; he's surrounded by girls. Judy adjusts her midriff top to show off more shoulder. Farris grins and says she's getting dangerous. Trina, a pretty girl with sandy hair, shows more shoulder too. Farris says she's gonna make it hard for him to go to sleep. Yuck!

The blond model sits the girls in front of a mirror and watches them do their makeup. She reminds them to only use hypoallergenic products so they don't break out. Yeah, we wouldn't want any pimples showing up in the pornos. 

Farris appears behind them. Trina gets up to let him know that her mom thinks extra movement courses will be worth the money. Farris is all too happy about this. He says dedication like Trina's is what it takes to get ahead. Farris wants to take Judy's headshots personally. Trina looks jealous. Can't imagine why. Farris is such a creepy old man.

At Rufus's apartment, the Jump Street captain flushes a bag of ganja down the kitchen sink. Kip is upset by the illegal search and seizure. Cap'n Rufus is sick of apologizing because he's still waiting for the right kid to show up. 
When anger doesn't work, he tries addressing Kip as Dread and says he wants to keep trying to better their relationship.

Judy and Trina eat salad at the mall food court and pore over a fashion magazine. Trina would give anything to live the glamorous lifestyle of a supermodel. Judy points out the double standard: "If it's in a fashion magazine, it's erotic. But when my brother buys it and hides it under his mattress, it's dirty pictures."

At Farris's apartment, Judy tries not to look uncomfortable as Farris clicks away with his camera. She's still fully clothed. Judy wants to try a sophisticated look, which in this case means undoing a few buttons on her dress to show she's clearly not wearing a bra.

The wall next to Doug's desk is now covered with mostly black-and-white headshots from Teen Scene students. Tom tells Cap'n Rufus the girls are all legitimate models. Judy isn't so sure Farris is guilty of anything criminal. 

Blowfish, who's passing by, points at the blond instructor's headshot and says "Dominique!" Apparently, she starred in a little film called Dominique's Daydream. Judy can't believe it's Nicky from the school. "Just a pretty girl who used to have a future," Fuller says.

Kip is taking his afternoon meal out of a wicker basket in his dad's office: a big jug of orange juice, seaweed, and alfalfa shucks. There's also a batch of homemade brownies for everyone. The captain cautiously sniffs one. Rufus, if I were you, I wouldn't be handing those out. Doug's always hungry as it is.

Tom pops in to ask the captain to come to a private screening of Dominique's Daydream. Blowfish puts the tape into the squadroom VCR. So much for privacy... Stereotypical "bow-chicka-bow-wow" music plays as the video begins. "Does the same guy score all these films?" Doug asks, earning himself a dirty look from Judy. He goes back to eating his apple.

In the movie, there's a cheap set made to look like a principal's office. A boom mic is clearly visible in the shot. A much-younger Dominique is sitting in an office chair wearing a black miniskirt. The actor playing the principal, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Blowfish, scolds the girl for being sent to his office yet again. 
Porno Principal has reports from teachers that Dominique's been daydreaming in class. She meekly confirms it. He asks what she's been daydreaming about.

Judy wants the tape shut off; everyone can tell it's Dominique from the modeling school. She gets angry when Blowfish makes a comment about the movie. The copyright on the film is 4 years old, meaning Dominique made her debut at around the age of 15. The guys exchange guilty looks.

Judy walks around the mall with Dominique. Judy says her older brother rented a dirty movie that had Dominique in it. Judy now has doubts about modeling school if that's where Dominique ended up. Dominique protests that she didn't "end up" in porn and she wasn't forced to do it either. Once you make it big as a model, you don't have to do it anymore. Dominique reveals she's Farris's business partner.

Farris is doing another photo shoot, this time with Trina. She's posing on his bed wearing a fancy pink silk blazer with serious '80s shoulder pads. Farris thinks she'll probably get catalog work right away, as in clothing ads in the Sunday paper. Trina looks disappointed. Farris takes another picture and asks if Trina wants him to stop.

Trina asks if it would be better to wear something else. Farris says all the outfits she brought are the same style. Trina undoes the button on her blazer. Farris hungrily watches and tells her not to be nervous because he's a professional photographer. Trina sheds the jacket, revealing nothing but a bra underneath. She starts to unfasten her bra, but the clip gets stuck. She manages to take it off and sits topless while Farris photographs her.

Cap'n Rufus arrives home with groceries, but Kip isn't inside. He's burning incense on the back deck and sanding a piece of wood. A partly finished bookshelf sits nearby. It's quiet and Rufus remarks that he didn't think Kip did anything without listening to music. Cap'n Rufus has been working on the shelf for a while, but never has time to finish his weekend projects.

Cap'n Rufus explains that he's not against Kip's lifestyle; it's just really out of the mainstream. He asks why Kip couldn't have tried out Christian Science. He thinks about what he said and apologizes for being unfair. He wonders if problems at school caused Kip's change. Kip takes this as his dad thinking he was somehow brainwashed.

Kip drops the accent and says he's a long way off from being a true Rastafarian. He's not planning to run off to Jamaica and his grades are still good. Cap'n Rufus is glad and admits he doesn't mind the accent. He really likes reggae too. Kip hits a button on the boombox and soul music plays. He likes his dad's music too.

At Farris's apartment, Dominique is there and nearly naked. Farris says not to worry that Judy knows about Dominique's Daydream. Dominique suggests shutting down the modeling school for a while; Farris nixes the idea. She helps him finish getting ready and says they both feel better after a shoot. Farris tells her to forget about the shoot. Dominique was sensational at 15, but now she's too old. 

In Cap'n Rufus's office, the crew rattles off some platitudes about the adult film industry. Rufus used Dominique's hearsay confession about the movie to get a warrant to turn the modeling school upside down. Doug enthusiastically punches a file cabinet.

Farris is in a warehouse somewhere, putting a razorblade and small mirror back into his suitcase. A dazed Trina stands in front of him, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a big ribbon on one of her pigtails. She's changed her mind and wants to go home. Farris says she can't because the film crew is there just for her. Trina protests that she was told she could always say no. Farris berates Trina for thinking she's special. She's at the point of no return.

Judy, Harry, Tom, Cap'n Rufus, and Doug arrive at Teen Scene Modeling School with their warrant. Joanie the secretary thinks they're students and tells them the school is closed. Judy asks for Farris, but he's out of town for a couple of days and Joanie doesn't know where he is. Rufus announces that they have a warrant.

In a different part of the school, Cap'n Rufus tells them it takes about 2 days to put a porn together. He instructs the officers to look for hotel invoices, leases on warehouses, and the like.

At the warehouse, Trina sits on a hay bale wearing nothing but a green bathrobe. She's holding the neck of the robe closed tightly. A film crew member seals a canister labeled "Dude Ranch." Farris barks at them to set up the next scene. Dominique is dressed for the occasion: denim shirt, matching skirt, and bolo tie. Farris applauds Trina's instincts and reassures Dominique that they'll be fine.

Suddenly, the warehouse door is broken open. The Jump Street division walks in with uniformed backup. Farris runs away. Trina grabs two film canisters and runs for it too. Doug catches up to Farris. Dominique heads for the roof. Cap'n Rufus orders the officers to seize every frame of film.

Trina bursts through a side door, closely followed by Judy. Trina clutches the film canisters to her. She's crying and  mascara runs down her cheeks. Judy orders Trina to hand over the film. Trina complies. Judy explains the film has to be processed in order to take Farris to trial. Trina sobs harder.

Judy rips off the tape sealing the canister, opens the tin, and starts pulling film off the reel. Dominique watches from an upstairs window. Judy opens the second canister and starts exposing the film. Cap'n Rufus comes outside and sees what she's doing. "HOFFS!" he shouts.

Rufus glares at Judy disgustedly and walks away. Dominique appears to ask what'll happen without the film. Unfortunately, nothing. Dominique offers to testify.

On his way into the paddy wagon, Farris sees Dominique getting into Fuller's car. He repeatedly yells "Don't do this!" at her while Tom and Doug hold him back. Judy comforts Trina.

Time for Judy to get a lecture. She could've blown the whole case by destroying the evidence. Judy was worried that Trina's life would be ruined by the film; Cap'n Rufus says there were other ways to bury it. Judy apologizes for going too far. Luckily, Dominique told them everything: how old she was when she started, why they started the modeling school, and the names of other underage girls used in Farris's films.

Kip knocks on the door, then comes in to say goodbye to his dad. Cap'n Rufus makes Kip promise not to sell his plane ticket this time. He's just glad Kip is happy. Kip gives Judy some sticks of incense. Rufus watches his son leave and asks in a Rasta accent of his own, "Hoffs, what do you tink I'd look like wit' my hair like dat, mon?"

End of episode.

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