Penhall-isms: Best of Season 1

I have a fondness for all the characters on the Jump Street crew...well, with the exception of Blowfish. But as you've probably guessed from previous posts, my favorite is Doug Penhall. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, leading to what I've dubbed "Penhall-isms". 

1. (when Judy asks if he's taking Baby Hannah to the Chapel) "Hey, I'm a workin' mother here!"
2. "I'm not listenin' to a sociology report from a guy in Scottish plaid bondage pants."
3. "Are you crazy? He tried to stab you. You are no longer on this man's Christmas card list."
4. "My mom's Jewish, which only means I get to celebrate both guilt and hell."
5. (trying to memorize a VIN) "Give it to me again, man. I'm not Kreskin."
6. Tom: "By about midterms, we should have enough to bust the president of Colombia."
   Doug: "The college or the country?"